Page 80 of The Souls We Claim

And I sure as fuck couldn’t deal with being in Lola’s life while watching Ari live her happily ever after with someone else.

I’m still thinking about that seven hours later, after a disastrous attempt at taking a tired and cranky Lola to the restaurant for dinner. From the bed we’re all finally sitting on, I look at the debris of our meals strewn around the room. I ate atthe small desk, Lola sat in a high chair I had brought up from the restaurant, and Ari ate perched on the side of the bed.

Lola lies between us, finally passed out from overexcitement, tiredness, and a quick bath to remove all the pasta sauce from her face. I’m too scared to move her to her travel cot in case it wakes her up.

“Hardly the romantic evening I had planned,” I say quietly.

Ari rolls onto her side to face me and tucks a pillow beneath her head. “I don’t know. You planned a surprise for us and booked a much-appreciated massage for me. We had fun in the pool together and shared parenting and laughed. Thanks to you, I can now swim the width of the pool. I always thought there was romance in the work, you know. Being in it together. It was romantic, Jax, and I’m really grateful.”

I sweep a piece of hair behind her ear. “Regardless of what happens between you and me, we’re always going to be in this together, taking care of Lola.”

Ari smiles. “I think I can honestly say there is no one I would rather do this with.”

“Aren’t you worried about how young you are? Being tied down to a baby at twenty-three.”

“I’ve already lived a lifetime. At least, it feels that way. I was never one to go out clubbing or any of those things. Mom used to say I was a home bird. Guess I’ve always wanted the picket fence.”

I kiss her lips softly. “The picket fence?”

“You know, a husband who loves you, a family, a dog, a nice home, and a picket fence.”

Lola mumbles in her sleep, and I take my cue to lift her and put her into her travel cot.

Because even as I return to the bed and pull Ari into my arms, I struggle to bite down the need to promise that I’ll get her any damn fence she wants.

24

HALO

I’m never late.

At least I wasn’t.

Until I had responsibility for a little girl who is still napping and a woman who told me she had a surprise for me.

Lola is struggling with her sleep schedule, and if I wake her from this nap, she’ll be a fucking disaster this afternoon. And I’ll be honest, the sight of her little face all screwed up while tears and snot vacate her body in vast amounts breaks my heart into so many pieces, it’s hard to put it back together when the crying is done.

I lean back against the kitchen counter, sip the third cup of coffee I’ve had time to make, and watch the second hand on the clock by the door tick away the afternoon. We’re meant to be at the clubhouse for a barbecue that started about thirty minutes ago.

Bizarrely, I’m unusually calm about it. My home is my castle, and now I have two princesses living in it, and it’s completely changed the energy of the place in a way I could never have imagined.

It feels more like a lived-in home.

Everything feels softer. I’m certain it’s the girls.

And the shit Ari is sneaking in when she thinks I’m not looking. A little gold tray that she’s put two tumblers and my bottles of tequila and scotch on to make a little bar. A mirror in the entrance hall.

“Are you ready?” Ari’s nervous voice comes from the stairs, and my heart squeezes.

“Ready, kitten.”

“Don’t be mad. I can change if you don’t like it or you think it’s too much or something.”

Now I’m curious as to what exactly she’s wearing. “Just get your ass out here.”

When she steps into the kitchen, I have a heart attack. At least, I’m sure that must be what this is given the way my chest feels like it just cracked open and my heart splattered all over the kitchen floor.

“Fuck me,” I say as I take in every glorious inch of her.