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Palm Springs

January 16, 2023

Grant had a steady stream of visitors in the hospital as he was recovering from his embolism, giardia, broken shoulder, and torn muscle in his quad, so many problems that I didn’t have an opportunity to ask him in his rare lucid moments if he remembered my proposal. His room filled up with everyone we’d met in Palm Springs after only two months.

It was therapeutic to go through the play-by-play of the events. I watched in real time as the most terrifying three days of our lives turned into a swashbuckling story. Everyone wanted to hear the nuts and bolts of how he’d survived. We recounted the heroics of his rescue—especially Hobie, who ate up the praise and attention. We knew that if he hadn’t insisted on going up on one last helicopter ride, Grant wouldn’t have made it.

“Talk about having your hill to die on,” Grant said.

“Honestly, I thought you were a goner for sure,” Brady said, his sunglasses propped on his head. Even away from the drama of the rescue, he still seemed serious and in charge.

“I wasn’t worried,” Grant said. “Not until the very last day. That’s when I…” He looked at the girls, and at me, and his eyes filled with tears. “You know.”

Brady said, “Not since Napoléon has someone made so many bad decisions. You should have had your phone with you, should have packed more gear, should have waited at Morris Road for someone to help you when your truck was lost. You should never have turned around and tried to hike all the way to Indian Canyons in the middle of the day. Should have checked the weather, should have packed more water and warmer clothes, should have bought a car from a reputable dealer, should have…”

Gene was sitting on the hospital room’s little vinyl couch next to Jeanie. “Being a pessimistic philosopher doesn’t help you much out in the real world, does it, Doc?”

Hobie said, “You were looking at Palm Springs when you thought you were looking at Cathedral City. So when you turned, you just went farther away. How’d you lose your pack, anyway?”

“I used it as a pillow. When I got up and started walking, I was so out of it, I guess I just left it there.”

“Well, it saved your life. Helped us know generally where you were, and your journal led us to look for you in the stream.”

Hobie hadn’t worn anything but his orange search-and-rescue shirt since Grant had gone missing. Saving someone’s life made it even easier to get laid, he joked (sort of), and it almost made him feel as important as he felt running the HOA. He pulled out his phone and pulled up a photo. “See these tracks in the snow?” He walked around the room and showed the photo of paw prints to everyone. “A mountain lion. I found the tracks behind Grant, after the chopper got him out. He had no idea he was being followed. Crazy, huh? If he’d turned right instead of left that last day, he would have walked right into her den.”

“Too soon,” I said, putting my hand up to block the image. “We’ve had too many near misses for me to process.”

Finally, when everyone left, I sat on the edge of Grant’s bed and stroked his arm where the IV kept him hydrated. “I know you didn’t want me to read your journal, but what was the question you asked at Cedar Springs? What did you need clarity about?”

“You. I brought the engagement ring on the hike with me. It was in the inner pocket of the backpack. I wanted to hold it and meditate on it and really think about marriage. Not about whether or not I wanted to marry you. I needed to know if I could let go of my past and be there for you. Be the husband you deserve.”

“And?”

“And I was going to throw the ring over the side of the mountain if I couldn’t do it.”

I shook my head. “What did you decide?”

He smiled. “The ring should still be there. Kimmy, I promise I’ll never leave you again.” He placed his hand on mine. “And then look what happened. I got lost. And when I got lost, I faced my fears and found myself.”

“So did I.”

“You proposed, Kim.”

“You remembered.” I kissed his hand.

“The whole time we’ve been here, I’ve been waiting for you to ask me again. And when you do, my answer is yes.”