Page 34

Palm Springs

December 23, 2022

I now spend almost as much time with Melody in Smoke Tree Ranch as I spent in Le Desert. We’d have lunch, and then we would sort through some of her paperwork. I was making piles for taxes, Medicare, charitable giving, personal correspondence, and trash. I wrote a check to the funeral home that handled Vandyke’s service. From what I could tell, her net worth was well upward of thirty million, and here she was being threatened with notices from collection agencies. Only someone with that much money could continue paying hundreds of thousands a year for a jet service she never used.

With the end of the year coming, she had piles of donation requests to sort through. I showed her a letter from the Hammer Museum in Los Angeles asking for her to contribute to their capital campaign. “Do you want to make a gift?”

Like an actress delivering a dramatic soliloquy, she said, “Art is not what you see, but what you make others see.”

“Okay?”

“I borrowed that muscular Degas quote as the tagline for the Hammer in the midnineties, when I served on their board. We put it on everything advertising the museum: posters and brochures, even T-shirts. You won’t see it there now. One day, without informing me, they just stopped using it. And that, my dear, is why you are going to write a letter to the twenty-year-old development director and tell her she will no longer see donations from the Underwood Foundation.”

Every day was like show-and-tell. I would hand her an overdue bill or letter from an attorney or financial pro and ask her what to do with it, and she would direct me to a memory-laden item in her house. “Look up there”—she pointed at a large wooden box on a high shelf—“those are Vandyke’s remains.”

“Oh! Shouldn’t you put them somewhere more… visible?”

“Why? I don’t want to look at them all day long, do you? The urn is made of hand-turned ironwood. Native Americans believe ironwood binds together the spirits. Vandyke was a seeker near the end. He tried peyote and LSD. That didn’t go well. The poor man was convinced that behind the mountains were dead horses, millions of dead horses. It was awful.”

She picked up a glass cockatoo. “Mother thought it was hilarious that we have Swarovski crystal from ‘Plastic Pat’ Nixon. This was a gift from the First Lady, naturally.”

To spend time with Melody was to feel as if I were part of Palm Springs history. I never got bored of her stories, and I could tell she loved having an audience. But we’d been at it for five weeks now and had barely made a dent in the sea of paperwork. “You should hire someone, Mel. There’s no way I can get through all this while we’re here.”

“I’m glad you brought that up.” She had a funny smile. “How about you ?”

“Me? What do I know—”

“You can come with me when I meet with the lawyers and financial people and estate planners. They all think I’ve lost it, and I’m less likely to be taken advantage of if I have someone young and sharp with me. Look at you! You’re much more presentable now, thanks to that haircut. We’ll get you a few bossy outfits and we’ll walk into meetings together like we run the world.”

“But I’m not sure how much I can get done before we leave.”

“Don’t be an idiot. You aren’t going anywhere.” She put her hands on her hips and stared me down. “I’m suggesting you move here.”

I almost spit out my lemonade. “To Palm Springs? I’m honored, but I can’t.… We have a house. A home, in Wisconsin. Grant would never go for it. All my friends are in Madison.”

“Haven’t you made friends here?” She pointed at herself. “That’s the problem with you, Kimberly. You’re desperate for a change, but you don’t have the gumption to take the leap. Sell your house! Isn’t Madison one of those cities everyone wants to move to for some reason? It’ll get snatched right up.”

“But I’m not qualified to—”

“Who is actually qualified for work like this? It’s the stuff of life. You’re smarter than you think. Plus, you have the advantage of having worked for nonprofits. Vandyke gave money to charities I don’t support.”

“I noticed.”

“See? I could use your help changing my giving strategy. Besides, you know how to talk to these people in a way that will make them listen.” After years at nonprofits, the thought of “going client side” appealed to me immensely. Instead of begging for donations, I could hand over crisp checks with Melody’s signature to all the causes I found worthy. What better way to change the world than with other people’s money?

“You told me about that hedonist at your current job. Who needs him? I’ll pay you a ridiculous salary, just name it.”

“But I need benefits. Both Grant and I do.”

“So, we’ll get you benefits! Pick the best plan—free eyeglasses, dental, medical, zero co-pays, paid time off. I’ll hire someone to come give you back massages. I’ll install a slide in the office and a trampoline and you can pretend you work at Google.”

“Melody—” The idea was actually starting to take hold.

“I’m asking you to be my… my what? We can come up with a title. How about president of the Underwood Foundation? Doesn’t president sound nice?”

I stood and gathered some files, holding them in front of my chest like armor. Any normal person in my position would jump at an opportunity like the one Melody was offering me. So why was I so hesitant? I believed she was serious, and I knew she had ample funds.

But giving up my home and my life? I’d often thought about moving to Palm Springs since we’d arrived. What was a fun idea before, a flight of fancy, was serious now. I thought of all the things I love doing in Madison, the network of people I’d developed over the years. I knew where to vote, which doctor to see for which ailment, where to get my oil changed, the best restaurants for every craving or occasion. My life made sense back home; would it ever make as much sense here?

“Did Basil put you up to this?” I asked.

“Basil? Are you kidding? He’d have me institutionalized if he knew things had gotten this messy. This is my decision. I find you trustworthy. You married my son for love, even though you easily could have married for money. Your lack of shrewdness might be problematic in this new capacity, but we’ll work on it. I know Basil asked you to take care of me, and you’ve been true to your word. Before you and Grant came along, I felt horribly alone and adrift. I know what you’re made of, Kim. You’re humble and sincere and, well, you are still utterly lacking in confidence and style, but I see you changing. Embrace it! Life is about change.”

My mind was racing. “But where would we live? Palm Springs is expensive, in case you haven’t noticed.” My stomach twisted at the word we.

“Buy a place in Le Depravity. There’s always something coming on the market.”

“We can’t just buy a condo.”

“Why not? People buy condos every day. I’m not asking you to sacrifice your firstborn.”

“But the girls—”

“—are living their own lives. It’s time for you to live yours. Shake it up.”

“What about Grant?”

Melody became warm, even motherly.

“You need to do what’s right for you. I like Grant, but it’s plain to see you’re feeling uncertain about your relationship. The upside of never marrying is that you can extract yourself from it without lawyers and custody battles, but only if you so choose. If you were thinking of striking out on your own, you’d have a very soft landing here.”

I looked through the sliding glass doors at the dirt, the cacti, the mountains. Could I really be part of this place? Was this my ecosystem? It was home for the winter, but could it be home all year long?

This job, this change… it felt like what I needed. But I needed Grant, too—and I didn’t want to live apart anymore. I was already anticipating his arguments against the move. Would I have to choose between him and this job?

Melody reached for the folders I was holding and set them gently down on the desk. “If you decide to take me up on my offer, I’ll pay you handsomely and make sure you find the work meaningful. Whatever you decide, don’t think of this as a favor. I really do need to hire someone. Basil won’t have the time to deal with it, and he’s not good at this type of work, anyway. But I know you will be. You already are.”

“Can I think about it? I need to talk to Grant.”

“Think very, very hard, Kim, because I’m absolutely serious. But you’ll need to let me know soon. My widow’s veil is coming off. It’s time for me to jump back into life and take charge of my affairs. And I dare say, it’s time for you to take care of your own.”

She was staring at my hand and I looked down and realized why: I was nervously yanking on my bare ring finger.