Page 87 of The Silent Waters (Elements 3)

I rubbed my fists against my eyes as the three started arguing again.

Five minutes.

I held my hand up, and they all paused. I rushed upstairs, into the bathroom, and filled the sink up with water. I lowered my face into the water and held my breath.

I needed five minutes to slow down my mind. I needed five minutes to let go of their shouts and find my own voice.

I needed five minutes to breathe.

I saw his face—the devil. He was choking me, trying to kill me like he killed the woman. He was going to kill me.

“Shh…”

I lost myself.

He stole me from me in that moment alone.

I felt dirty.

I felt used.

I felt trapped.

It felt real. Each day, after all those years, it still felt so fresh. But as my face stayed in the water, I remembered even more.

“Maggie May! Where are you?” Brooks hollered again, his voice breaking the devil from his thoughts.

As my face stayed in the water, I remembered him. I remembered my Brooks.

“You’re my best friend, Magnet, but…” His lips grew closer, and I swore I felt them brush against my own. “What if she was right? What if Lacey was on to something? What if there was something more than friends between us?” he whispered again, his grip on my lower back getting tighter, pulling me closer. Our lips brushed against one another again, and my stomach knotted.

I pulled my head from the water, soaking wet, but knowing where I needed to be. I raced to my bedroom and grabbed my shoes.

“Maggie May, don’t do this,” Mama said, standing in my doorway. Her arms were crossed, and she stared at me with eyes glassed over. “Don’t leave.”

I narrowed my eyes, confused. She walked over to my bed and sat down, tapping the mattress for me to join her. I couldn’t even remember the last time Mama stood in my room, let alone sat down to talk to me.

“I’ll make sure he’s okay, I’ll make sure he’s getting better and knows you wished you could be there, Maggie, but please…don’t go.”

Reaching for my board, I began to write.

Why not?

She lowered her head and stared at her fidgeting fingers. “If you go…if you finally start moving on…how can I protect you? I didn’t even know you slipped out of the house all those years ago, because I was doing laundry. I was supposed to watch over you. I was supposed to keep you safe. And if you leave…if you go explore the world…how am I supposed to protect you?”

There it was: Mama’s deepest secrets and fears.

Everyone had a part of themselves they chose to keep mute.

Mama’s was her guilt.

Taking the marker, I began to write the most important words I’d ever written before.

It wasn’t your fault.

Mama swallowed hard before she started sobbing into her hands. Her body balled up, and I wrapped my arms around her, holding her tight. She cried as long as she could before wiping the back of her hand at her nose and sitting up a bit straighter. “Look at me, I’m such a mess. I’m sorry, Maggie May. For everything I’ve put you through…I just worry, that’s all.” She sniffled, and I laid my head on her shoulder. She wrapped her hands in mine. “You’re really gonna do this, aren’t you?”

I squeezed her hands twice.