Page 5 of The Silent Mountain (Under the Werewolf Crown #2)

five

Two Minds Alike

*ALANA*

T he fog in my mind has cleared completely, and I can finally see the damage I did. “I hurt you!” I blurt out. “Favian!”

Favian grabs my face between his hands. “It’s just a minor wound.”

“But-“

I can hear footsteps approaching, making my heart beat faster in fear. I attacked their king; they will want to see my head roll. To my surprise, Favian’s aura changes completely, though, to something strong and serious, something that doesn’t allow anyone to disobey him. “Go back to your position,” he says to whoever approached us. “Princess Alana was dreaming. Nothing happened.”

“I apologize, my king,” the man hurries to say before he retreats, the sound of his footsteps disappearing.

“I can’t believe I hurt you. I attacked you,” I say. “I am so sorry, Favian.”

“Look,” he lifts the sleeve of his shirt, and I can see a superficial wound on his arm. “I don’t call that getting majorly hurt. Besides, you were clearly sleepwalking and haunted by a nightmare.”

“This isn’t normal,” I conclude. “This is not a normal nightmare. It was so real.”

He looks worried.

My gaze wanders down his arm again. “Let me check on that.”

“Alana, it’s-“

“Please.”

“Alright, come. I have an emergency kit in my room.”

I know it’s not necessary for me to nurse him, yet I am glad he humors me and lets me do it. I hold his hand while I follow him to his chambers. It’s the first time I have been in them. His place is spacious. There is not a lot of stuff in his bedroom, but adjacent to it, I notice his living room, the walls covered with shelves full of books. My sister, Eibhlin, would love it here. I’m not a huge reader, but I find it amazing.

“You read a lot?”

“Yes,” he says. “It’s my escape.”

“I guess like horses are for me,” I muse.

“Probably,” he agrees.

I notice his bed is still made. It seems like he hasn’t been in it today. Did he not sleep at all? It’s far into the night already. Was he up all night working, again? I allow my gaze to wander further.

“What’s up there?” I ask, pointing toward the staircase leading upstairs.

“It leads to the top of the tower,” he explains. “I sometimes shift to my dragon form and overlook everything from up there.” He smiles at me. “I can show you.”

“I’d love to, but first-” I point at his arm.

“Alright,” he says and lets me do as I please. I go to the bathroom, retrieving a towel from there, before returning to clean his wound.

“It’s really not too deep,” I mutter.

Favian looks amused. “I told you. I wasn’t just playing the hero in front of you.”

“I bet you would do that.”

“Play the hero?” he asks. When I nod, he snorts. “Probably.”

After cleaning the cut, I don’t even need to put a patch on it because his dragon is already healing him. For a moment, we just sit together in silence. “Do you want me to show you the tower now?” he asks.

“Yes,” I exclaim.

Favian grabs a thick blanket before opening the door to the staircase. The air here is already a bit chillier. While climbing the stairs, it gets colder and colder, making me realize I’m only in my nightgown. Ros can warm me up slightly, but she can’t do miracles. I am used to the snow and cold, but with the icy wind surrounding us, this is much colder than anywhere in the werewolf kingdom.

The moment we have reached the top, Favian instantly wraps the blanket around me, before letting me look around. For a couple of seconds, I’m just too stunned to say anything. We are far above the rest of his kingdom, at the top of the tower that opens up in all directions. There is still a small roof above us, but no walls anymore. If Favian is in his dragon form, he can take off in any direction. Behind us, there is his kingdom and the mountains, and the front leads to my kingdom. In the distance, I can even see the first packs that are close to the borders, and there is a broad area of wasteland between us and them. Recently, the wasteland started to recover, but it’s going to take a while for it to return to its former beauty.

“Watch out,” Favian warns me when I step closer to the edge.

Gazing down, I notice that right in front of me is a massive cliff that leads downwards. We are so high up the mountains that I can’t even see the bottom. “This is amazing,” I whisper. “The whole castle is.”

“Do you want to see something?” Favian asks, and his eyes glint with mischief. I have never seen this look on him. When he starts to run though, I realize instantly what he is about to do.

“No, you are not-“

Before I can finish my sentence, he has already leaped into the air and jumped off the tower. While he falls, I can see his body changing and shifting to his dragon, stopping his fall and flying upwards again. Even in the moonlight, his dragon shimmers golden, so beautiful.

Okay, that’s kind of cool.

It is, Ros says in awe. Pity we can’t pull off such a trick.

A flying wolf would be funny, wouldn’t it?

I prefer the ground, she chuckles before turning silent again.

Favian returns to us in his dragon form, and I step a little to the side so that he can land safely without pushing me off the platform. Before he can shift back, though, I let Ros come forward to take over my body. She moves towards Favian’s dragon form in fascination, reaching out her hand towards him. The dragon reciprocates and lowers his huge head, snorting when she carefully strokes his scales.

“I never imagined not having a wolf mate,” she says, “but I really like you.”

Favian shifts back to his human form, still wearing his clothes. Very practical that he doesn’t need to undress and dress constantly. He takes Ros’s hand. “We always have our human bodies,” he promises. “And if you want to spend time with me or my dragon, I am sure Alana will let you come forward.” He pauses. “Ros,” he adds.

I can feel Ros’s joy at hearing him say her name. “You know my name,” she beams.

“Of course I do,” he says. “You are my mate, like Alana is my mate.”

“Can I hug you?”

In answer, Favian pulls her into his arms. She feels joyful and happy to feel his touch, and it makes me feel guilty that I take so long to get closer to him. He is our mate; I should be all over him constantly, but instead, my grief and my own complicated mind hold me back.

Ros stays in Favian’s arms for minutes, just enjoying his warmth. “Until next time,” she finally says, looking a bit flustered. Who knew she would be so shy?

Thank you, she says once she has retreated and handed me back control.

Favian and I don’t say anything, and instead just stand next to each other, gazing up at the night sky above us. It’s full of stars, illuminating the sky.

“I wonder what it was that startled me tonight,” I say.

“We’ll need to look into that,” he says, before letting out a sigh. “I guess Stefan was right, and we need a witch here.”

“You are going to hire a witch?” I ask, completely stunned. A witch brought so much despair and death to the dragons and traumatized Favian more than one can imagine.

“I can’t ignore what my people need,” he mutters.

“I will make sure to keep an eye on her once she is here,” I promise. “Werewolves are used to working together with witches, and in the royal pack, we have a pack witch, a very powerful one. I’d trust her with my life.”

“I know,” he says. “It’s the one thing I am putting my hope on, the fact that she didn’t betray you.”

“Not all witches are bad,” I promise him. “Most of them are good.”

“I know that too,” he says.

“It’s incredibly impressive that you are putting your own feelings aside and deciding to look for a witch to live here,” I say, truly amazed.

He must have sensed my admiration for him because he sighs. “You are giving me too much credit. Let’s return,” he says. “It’s a bit cold.”

We climb down the lengthy staircase in silence, not sure how to overcome the usual awkwardness between us. It was easier before, when I acted on instinct and worry, but now it’s back to just being weird. If only I wouldn’t always overthink everything.

Once I am back in Favian’s chambers, I startle at how warm they are. I hadn’t even realized how much I was frozen up there. My whole body is tingling slightly now that it’s warming up again. Favian mind links a servant to bring us some tea before we settle down in his living room. It doesn’t even take ten minutes for our fresh, hot tea to arrive.

“I feel like we should go to bed,” I chuckle. “That would certainly be the mature decision.”

“Good thing we are adults and have no one to tell us when it’s bedtime,” he jokes.

I laugh while sipping at my tea. “Say,” I look at him curiously. “Can I ask something?”

“Of course. Anything.”

“Who is Favia, exactly?” I ask. “Our fellow shifters say she is the impersonation of your dragon, your dragon’s soul if it had a body aside from you, but I know that’s not it. She is not you.“

“You are right; she is not my dragon. In fact, she doesn’t have much to do with my dragon at all,” he tells me. “It’s just simpler to explain it that way to outsiders. My fellow dragon shifters know the truth, and you at least know part of it. The golden dragons before me, who were equally blessed, never bothered to explain anything to outsiders.”

“In a way, your species has always been very distrustful,” I say quietly.

“That’s true,” he admits.

I look at him. “I have time. No matter how complicated it is, you can tell me.”

“Favia is an ancient dragon deity,” he explains. “Even if she weren’t with me, I would still have my dragon, which is why she and my dragon aren’t the same person, but in a way, the three of us did merge. In our myths and legends, there are several deities who are reborn over and over again whenever a golden dragon is born to the royal lineage,” he explains. “Once a golden dragon is born, one of the deities is sent by our god, Aengus, and blesses us with their power. When I was born, Favia answered the calling. Favia uses my body as a vessel, albeit she turns it into a female version of it, but she isn’t me. She is a deity residing in me. Yet, in a way, she is also me because she doesn’t have a body in the mortal world without my existence.”

“So, in a way, you could say it’s like I’d have a wolf spirit and then an additional personification of my goddess?” I ask.

“Yes,” he says before casting me a thoughtful glance. “Now it’s my turn. Can I ask something?”

“Of course.”

“Would you tell me about her?” he says. “The person you lost. I know she was a warrior, the gamma of your pack and was well-liked. But I would like to know more about her.”

“I feel like it would be disrespectful.”

“To her?” He wants to know.

“No, to you,” I admit. “I… you will think I am crazy, but it feels like no matter what I do, I am betraying someone.”

“I don’t feel betrayed,” he says. “When we met, I knew exactly what you lost, and you knew what I just went through. I was actually relieved you didn’t want to jump into a relationship right away.”

I swallow thickly. “She was my best friend,” I explain. “We grew up together. As little children, we spent every free minute with each other. I never imagined a life without her in it. She was the only one who believed me when I said that I saw a dragon as a child. Everyone thought that dragons went extinct at that time, but I saw one.”

“You saw my mother,” Favian says quietly.

I nod. “She saved my life, but everyone thought I was hallucinating because of my fever. Ita always believed me. And then, when I said I wanted to become a warrior, she helped me reach my goal. My father wasn’t too excited, at first, that I was choosing this path, but she had my back all along.”

“And eventually, you developed feelings for her.”

“I fell in love,” I admit. “I’d felt it for a while but didn’t know how to act on it. Ita always believed in cherishing the mate bond, but I didn’t think that way. I wanted to have a choice, and she would have been mine.”

He nods. “I can understand that. Not everyone sees the mate bond as something magical. It does take a choice from us.”

I’m surprised he understands me. “Shortly before she died, we talked about it. She admitted to having feelings for me but not wanting to become my chosen mate. She said I am a princess, and as a princess, I can’t just take a chosen mate.”

Favian lets out a sad sigh.

“You think she was right, don’t you?”

“I don’t necessarily think that it is right. I also don’t think it would have been impossible, but certainly, you being a princess made it more complicated.”

“I know,” I admit. “I was really mad at her back then, but I understand her now. She didn’t mean to hurt me. She was just trying to be my friend and, at the same time, value me as her princess. When she died, she said that she loved me and that she would have been honored to be my chosen mate.” I smile sadly. “I think she did feel that way, but I don’t believe she would have ever agreed on becoming my mate.” I pause. “Such a mess, wasn’t it? And then she died protecting me.”

“It’s so hard,” he mutters. “To survive when someone you love dies.”

Finally, someone who understands! “I feel guilty constantly. I am messed up, aren’t I?”

“I do too. I feel guilty for having survived,” he says. “And I know Elio feels the same. There is nothing wrong with how you feel.”

“And you?” I ask quietly. “What are you battling with?”

“Aside from guilt?” he asks.

My lips tug slightly, not sure if I should smile at his words or feel saddened by them.

“It’s not just the guilt of having survived,” he says. “But also, the guilt of so many of us having died and me not being able to protect them.”

“You were a teenage boy when you were captured,” I say quietly, sad that this cruelty happened to him and that he was burdened by it the way he is. “You don’t sleep, do you?”

“I can’t,” he admits. “I try to, but every time I lie down, I am reminded of how I was forced into that never-ending, long sleep.” He pauses. “The worst part was the solitude,” he admits. “The silence and just being alone with my thoughts. Favia was there first, but she got weaker and would sleep most of the time or disappear occasionally. Her life force is bound to mine, and when I got weaker, she did too. Eventually, I was all alone. And now, when I go to sleep, I realize I don’t know what will happen to me while I am asleep. What if I'll once again be caught in a never-ending nightmare for years?”

I reach out my hand to squeeze his, not sure how to answer him. There are no words that can relieve his pain or lessen his trauma. “I will think of something,” I say. “I promise, I will think of something. Your people need you to be well-rested. I will help.”

I feel like an idiot for saying something so juvenile, but Favian doesn’t seem to mind. He just squeezes my hand in return and nods.