Page 38 of The Silent Mountain (Under the Werewolf Crown #2)

thirty-eight

Peace

*FAVIAN*

S eeing that Sine is still with Alana and Elio is becoming tired again, I decide to have another difficult talk.

“Your Highness,” Stefan calls after me as I walk to Erin’s place. She and Cassie are still residing with Frederick, but I am planning to give them their own proper home with all the space they need.

“Stefan.” I wait for him to catch up before proceeding with my walk. “Have you heard from Cassie?”

“Just briefly. She is exhausted, but overall, well.”

“The hair?”

“It was a side-effect of her destroying the spell,” Stefan explains. “It’s just hair, though, she won’t lose any of her life force.” He pauses to regard me. “Why are you not resting, Your Highness. You’ve had no break in a long while.”

A day ago, his words would have annoyed me, but now I take them as what they are: genuine worry for me. “How can I rest when my mate is still not awake?” I ask.

He sighs. “But you are not at your mate’s side right now.”

“Her mother kicked me out,” I explain. “She told me to get some rest. She was scary enough for me to retreat.”

“But not scary enough to make you truly rest,” Stefan berates.

I can barely hold back my amusement at his open display of displeasure. “I have something I need to do before I can truly allow myself to rest.”

“And what’s that?”

“Visit Ludwig,” I say.

At that, Stefan visibly swallows. “Ludwig,” he says quietly. “He survived.”

“Yes.”

“Poor man.”

I consider Stefan, realizing he understands and feels the same way I do. “I am not sure how he will get over this,” I say.

“I doubt he ever will,” Stefan admits. “We can just watch out for him and hope he will find another purpose in his life again. He already did it once, after the war.”

“Yes, but now he has to do it a third time. How often can a person break before it’s too much?”

“You had to start anew more than once,” Stefan points out.

“That’s true, but I have Elio and Alana, and I have you and Theodor. Four people who are my family, and who made it out of this situation alive. Ludwig lost everything.”

“I can’t quite believe you count me as family,” Stefan points out.

“Don’t act surprised now,” I say. “Being humble doesn’t suit you.”

Stefan snorts before shaking his head. “I thought you hated me.”

“You know that’s not true,” I admonish. “I didn’t fully trust you, and you have a tendency to get on my nerves, but I never hated you.”

“That’s not quite the answer I expected,” Stefan says. “Is that supposed to put my mind at ease?”

“I trust you now,” I say. “And you only occasionally annoy me. Does that help?”

Stefan’s lips tug into a smile. “It does.”

“While I am with Ludwig, please make sure that we begin renovating one of our bigger cottages, for Erin and Cassie. I want them to have their own space with everything they need. I am sure Cassie will want a laboratory for herself, and Erin probably needs more space for her library.”

“I was hoping you would suggest that,” Stefan says. “I admit, I already have a building in mind.”

“That is if Erin is truly planning on staying,” I say. “Technically, she was just here to help us with the spell.”

“She wants to stay,” Stefan says with so much confidence that it surprises me.

“Is there anything I need to know?” I ask, eyeing him over. When he remains quiet, it tells me more than words could have. “Erin?!” I ask. “Isn’t she quite old?”

“I am a middle-aged man myself,” Stefan points out.

“I don’t mean her looks,” I point out. “But Alana told me she is at least a hundred years old, and can change her appearance to her liking. When Azadeh met her, she looked like an elderly woman.”

“It doesn’t matter to me,” Stefan says.

“Then, do what you want to do. You have my blessing.”

He looks relieved at my words. “Thank you,” he says. “I was scared you would oppose it.”

“Why would I?”

“She is a witch.”

I sigh. “Well, things changed, didn’t they?”

“They certainly did.” Stefan smiles. “I will see that Erin and Cassie are living comfortably,” he promises.

“And I will see that Ludwig won’t do anything rash.”

Frederick and Erin were right. Ludwig’s body seems to be healing well, his fever’s gone down, and his night terrors have lessened. Erin even told me that he was briefly awake, very much aware of his surroundings and of what has happened.

The last part worries me. I had hoped we could ease him into things, but instead, he already is aware that he’s lost Barbara.

Ludwig stirs in his bed, turning to the side and opening his eyes. He hasn’t noticed me yet, and I am not sure how exactly to make my presence known without unsettling or startling him. He beats me to it, however, because he reaches for a dagger on his bedside table. It pushes me to act instantly. Reaching forward, I grab his hand, stopping him. He startles, only noticing now that I am here. “Your Highness,” he gasps.

“Don’t do it,” I say quietly.

Ludwig peers at the dagger, his whole body tensing. “How did you know?”

“I just did,” I admit, because it’s what I would have done if Alana had passed, but I don’t tell him that.

His eyes are devoid of any emotion, as if something deep inside has broken in him. “She is not here anymore. She will never be here anymore.”

“Did she know how you felt about her?” I ask.

“I told her I love her, and that I would like to court her once she overcame her illness,” he says quietly. “She agreed.”

I don’t buy it, not all of it. I have known Barbara for too long to believe it. “That’s not all she said, is it?”

He swallows thickly. “She had a feeling she wouldn’t make it,” he says quietly. “And told me to promise her to move on if she did. How could she make me promise that? How can I ever do that?”

“You loved her, Ludwig,” I say. “And she knew you did and returned your feelings. Her last hours were spent with you, the person she loved. She left this world, loved and in your arms. In a way, you gave her a gift none of us could have given her. I am sure it meant the world to her.”

Tears fill Ludwig’s eyes, and he turns to look away. “How does it matter, since she isn’t here anymore? What am I going to do from now on?”

My father might not have been a great father, and he wasn’t a good leader either, but there is one thing I have learned from him: shifters always need a task to hand, especially those who are born to be warriors like Ludwig. “Alana got seriously hurt,” I say. “And Cassie is weakened also. We lost a few strong warriors.”

“Your Highness is too kind if he implies I am in any way on par with our strongest warriors,” Ludwig mutters.

“I am not being kind,” I say. “But I chose you and Barbara as Alana’s bodyguards for a reason.”

At least I have piqued his curiosity. “What reason?”

“You are capable and I trust you,” I say. “And I certainly don’t trust many people.”

“Barbara said the same,” he mutters. “Before she… left.”

He looks so broken as he sits here in his bed, that my chest aches for him. How horrible to lose his love that way. We are all used to losing a lot, but things were finally looking upwards, just for that dark spell to hit us. Deep inside, I know we were lucky because we didn’t have many casualties, but my more emotional side mourns for everyone we have lost.

“Did you send her off?” Ludwig asks.

“Exactly the way she deserved it,” I assure him. “Everyone was grief-stricken by losing her. She was so beloved in the clan.”

“Really?” Knowing how Barbara was loved seems to give him some comfort.

Ludwig’s eyes begin to look drowsy, and to my relief, sleep is slowly lulling him in. Before I leave, I notify Frederick of what Ludwig was about to do. “By Aengus,” he sighs.

“Was it the right thing?” I ask. “To stop him from taking his own life?”

Frederick is silent for a while. “I don’t think anyone could answer that,” he says. “But even if you stopped him once, it doesn’t mean you or any of us will be able to stop him a second time. It’s on him now.” He considers. “I will keep an eye on him as long as he is here. Good thing you were here.”

“I am not certain if my visit even helped him,” I admit. “I didn’t seem to be able to find the right words. But how do you console someone who has just faced this type of loss?“ I ask. “For a second time.”

“I think the fact that you visited him in person has helped him a little,” Frederick says. “Everything else will need time. Will he still be the queen’s guard?”

“Of course.”

“Then, I think that will further help him. I will alert some of his friends and have them spend time with him. We’ll need to give it time, Your Highness.” He studies me. “Forgive my insolence, but you look very tired.”

“It’s not the first time that I’ve heard it today,” I remark. “I will return to the castle and get some sleep. Please don’t worry.”

I follow up on my promise, relieved that Ludwig isn’t alone, and walk back to the castle. In front of my chambers, I can see Sine and Stefan. “Your advisor just told me that you haven’t rested yet!” Sine accuses.

I raise my brows at Stefan. “You told on me?”

“I didn’t know you would return so soon,” he says. “You have a tendency to overwork.”

“I think I am going to take back what I told you earlier,” I mutter. “You are annoying.”

Stefan chuckles.

“How is my mate doing?” I ask Sine.

“She is healing well. It’s nothing like last year when she almost lost her life,” Sine reassures me. “Her injury will heal well too. She will need to learn how to cope with one hand, but I know my daughter, she is strong. I can only advise you not to fuss over her too much, and let her try and do things and heal on her terms. I bet she will want to return to training soon, and I hope you will let her.” She pauses. “She sacrificed her hand so she could stay alive. Let’s be proud of what she did and support her.”

“I am sure that with or without a hand, she will always be unstoppable,” I say.

Sine smiles. “I was glad to see her marked. It puts a mother’s mind at ease to know she is loved and safe.”

“Everyone here loves her,” I say.

“She holds a lot of meaning to us,” Stefan verifies my words. “She is the king’s mate, and without her, he wouldn’t be able to thrive the way he does. Her happiness is of utmost importance to us.”

“She likes it here,” Sine says. “She wrote several letters to me, and each one was full of love for the clan and her mate, and full of motivation. I don’t think I need to be too worried.”

The look in her eyes betrays her though. She looks incredibly worried. “She is the Warrior Princess,” I say. “On her first day here, she started to train the horses and threw herself into her own training as well. She will do the same now. We will make sure to support her all the way.”

Sine smiles. “I am glad to hear that.”

“Why don’t you stay a couple of days?” I offer.

“The king is right,” Stefan offers her his arm. “Please allow me to guide you to one of our guest rooms. His Highness had it prepared earlier.”

“You are family,” I say. “I am happy to have you stay for as long as you want.”

Instead of an answer, Sine hugs me and squeezes me gently.

I think deep inside, she is just too worried about Alana’s well-being to leave immediately. She wants to see her wake up and to help her cope with her injury, and I am happy to have her here and know that Alana has her mother at her side.

I wait for Stefan and Sine to leave before finally entering my chambers. I instantly am engulfed by Alana’s presence and scent. She is still asleep, but she looks like she is regaining some of her strength. Her cheeks are rosy again, and her breathing even and calm. I make sure not to make any noise, just briefly wash myself, and then decide not to rummage in my wardrobe for something to wear, and just keep my briefs on.

Once lying next to Alana, suddenly all the tension leaves my body. It’s like I am being knocked out by the intensity of my emotions. I almost lost my mate and my brother. I had to put on a strong facade and not show my fear, but the thought of losing them makes fear crawl over my whole skin again. They are my family, they gave my life meaning. Without them, there would be no me. I constantly keep on fighting because they are here, and because I want them to have the best life possible.

“Favian,” Alana whispers.

Her voice startles me, instantly snapping me out of my thoughts. She sits up slightly, eyeing me thoughtfully. Her hurt arm is bandaged now, but with her other one, she reaches out to touch my face. “Why are you crying?”

“You are awake!” I blurt out, taking her hand into mine to kiss it. “You are…“ I don’t know what else to say, so I just pull her into my arms.

I think of everything that has happened and of what she went through, of my fears and my worries, and how I hate myself for how she got hurt because I was too weak to protect her. Then, I think of Sine and the advice she gave me. Instead of voicing any of my previous self-loathing thoughts, I focus on another one that’s equally true but weighs so much more: “Thank you for returning to me.”