Page 38 of The Side Road (Love Chronicles #3)

A GHOST

After Mia had left, Oliver returned to the kitchen to find Cindy waiting for him.

‘What happened?’ she had asked.

‘Not your concern. Cindy, I don’t want to give you an ultimatum.’

‘Then don’t. Oliver, I’m in love with you.’

‘And I’m in love with Mia. That’s not going to change. If this – you and me building a life together – is your plan, then you need to make a new one. ’

‘I know.’ Anxiously, she was wringing her hands. ‘I’m sorry. I thought we had something, and I came here to see if you felt the same way. Obviously not, but I had to check.’ She shrugged. ‘Can’t blame a girl for trying.’

While Cindy continued to apologise, Oliver rubbed his temples.

The dull throbbing behind his eyes mirrored the ache in his heart.

When he sighed, the sound was lost in Cindy's increasing murmurs. What a mess they were in, but his situation wasn’t entirely Cindy’s fault. Soon they began a long conversation.

She explained her reasons for leaving her family and her need to escape a small country town in rural Victoria, very much like Eagle Nest, at twenty-one, to live and work in the outback.

Confessing to unprotected sex with Steve, in hindsight, her pregnancy hadn’t been a surprise.

But while she loved the Kimberley, she didn’t want to raise a child on a cattle station.

At one point, Oliver had tried to talk up Steve’s better qualities; the man was loyal to a fault, and he possessed a work ethic that bordered on the fanatical.

He deserved a chance and if anyone could smooth away his rough edges, it was Cindy.

She remained unconvinced until Oliver pointed out that Steve was the baby’s father and he might have other ideas.

She didn’t have sole custody of this child.

Then a flicker of uncertainty had crossed her face.

The implications, previously obscured by fear and protectiveness, had hit her with brutal clarity and a slow burn of understanding filled her eyes.

Finally, he had asked, ‘What are you going to do now?’

‘Actually, there is something you can do for me,’ she had replied.

Later that afternoon, with a platonic hug, Cindy was gone .

Mia’s research into Oliver’s past had been limited. There were things she hadn’t uncovered, and he was happy her investigation had only gone so far. Some secrets were best discovered in due time, and this brought him some peace.

He saw Mia for who she was, though. He appreciated her womanhood, her value as a creative human, and the joy she got from life.

The way she dressed, her beautiful pale skin and blue eyes.

Her excellent cooking skills increased her attractiveness.

He loved her – he knew this – and, given time, he thought she might come around.

She might change her mind. But he also knew she was a woman of habit.

Some people devoted a lot of time and energy to avoiding love. They deployed strategies to wiggle out of relationships. When things got serious, they pulled back. When times were tough, they packed their bags and ran away. Mia might be one of those people.

The bedroom door creaked. Oliver opened his eyes.

It was dark, but a wedge of light from the hallway seeped into the room and silhouetted against the frame was Tash.

As the light expanded, she stepped into the room.

She wasn’t a child who scared easily – her bed was her safe place, and she loved her room – but occasionally she needed company in the early hours.

‘Hey, you want to get in with me?’ Oliver asked. When he drew the covers back, she climbed in beside him, and he took hold of her hand. ‘You want to talk about it?’

Tash lay on her back, staring at the ceiling. ‘I heard something,’ she said. ‘A mechanical sound.’

‘Was it a motorbike?’ For a moment, Oliver felt his dreams of coaching a champion under-sixteen team reignite.

‘No. It was a whirring sound. I realised it was Nan, in the kitchen, using the beater.’

‘The beater? ’

‘The hand beater – for making cakes. I found her in the kitchen baking.’

‘Just now?’

Tash nodded. She let go of his hand and mimicked the action, holding the body of the beater with one hand and turning the handle with the other.

‘What was she baking?’

‘Golden syrup dumplings.’

Oliver raised himself on one elbow. ‘What happened next?’

‘The same thing that usually happens. She poured the eggs into the flour and made balls of dough. When she saw me in the doorway, she said, “Hello, luv, I didn’t see you there.” And I said, “Hello, Nan, you’re supposed to be dead.”’

‘What did she say?’

‘Nothing. She passed me the big cooking spoon so I could taste the dough.’

In the darkness, he studied her frowning face. ‘Did she tell you where the money was?’

‘No. But she told me something else. She said she was cooking in the middle of the night because she had a broken heart and golden syrup dumplings made her happy. I asked her if she missed me, and she said no. But she said God was real.’ Tash turned to her father. ‘So, you lose.’

Oliver smiled. ‘You want me to check the kitchen?’

She nodded.

Oliver climbed out of bed. Tash followed him down the hallway into the kitchen. The light was still on, but Elsie’s ghost had left the building.

Like a tracker dog searching for a scent, Tash sniffed the air in one direction and then the other. Wiggling her nose, she said, ‘Golden syrup? ’

Following her lead, Oliver sniffed. It smelled faintly of apples. ‘Hungry?’ he asked.

‘I could eat.’

‘Know how to make those dumplings?’

‘We can YouTube it.’

He passed her his phone, which was charging on the bench. Tash looked up the recipe while Oliver retrieved mixing bowls, wooden spoons, and the hand beater.

The recipe had 135 reviews with a score of 4.3. They decided this was adequate, especially at 2 a.m. Tash listed the ingredients. ‘Butter, sugar, flour, eggs, cream, and golden syrup.’

Oliver collected the items and placed them on the table. ‘Why did she keep the golden syrup in the fridge?’ he asked.

‘Ants. I think we should sell this house.’ Tash said.

‘Agreed.’

Tash read out the recipe instructions. ‘There are only two steps. First, put the flour into a bowl, then rub in the butter until it looks like breadcrumbs.’ Lifting one hand, she rubbed her fingers and thumb together. ‘I’ll start on the syrup.’

Oliver began rubbing the flour and butter mixture between his fingers.

Taking a saucepan, Tash added water, sugar and golden syrup. After turning on the stove, she placed the pan on the element. ‘Some people didn’t like Nan.’

It was a statement, not a question, so he didn’t think it required an answer and continued rubbing. When Oliver looked up, Tash was watching the syrup come to the boil.

‘She would say things like, “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you.” And then she would say awful things about other people.’

Oliver couldn’t disagree. He had heard Elsie in action; the woman had a bitter disposition .

‘I think Pops did something bad,’ Tash continued. ‘That’s why Nan had a broken heart.’

‘He wasn’t a bad man, but perhaps he made an unwise choice. Sometimes in life, things just happen.’

‘Adultery is more common than you think.’

Oliver smiled. ‘Who told you that?’

‘Nan.’

‘We never really know what other people’s relationships are like. Why two people – or sometimes it’s three – are attracted to one another. We all want different things. The best you can do is be honest with yourself.’ Oliver paused. ‘Does this look like breadcrumbs?’

Tash peered into the bowl. ‘Yes.’

‘What’s next?’ Oliver brushed the flour off his hands.

Tash picked up the phone and read. ‘Beat the eggs with the milk and add this to the flour mixture. Make a dough, roll it into balls.’ The syrup boiled. She turned the heat down.

Oliver mixed the ingredients. Together, they rolled the dough into balls and dropped them into the sticky syrup to cook.

‘I think Elsie was grieving,’ Oliver said. ‘She lost her husband and then she lost her daughter. Lizzy was the best thing in her life. After she died, the lights went out and Elsie didn’t know what to do with her pain, so she got angry. It was tough for her.’

‘Nan fought with Pops all the time.’

‘Some relationships are like that.’

‘Do you think she was happy?’

‘Honestly, no. But you made her happy.’ He checked the dumplings. They were ready. He served them in bowls with extra syrup.

‘Why do you think she left everything to the church? I mean, it wasn’t hers, it was ours.’ Tash scooped a dumpling onto her spoon and took a bite. ‘Good, but we need ice cream.’

‘She was getting old. Maybe she had early dementia. Or maybe she wanted to piss everyone off one last time.’

Tash smiled. ‘We should make these again.’

‘In the middle of the night?’

‘Definitely in the middle of the night. Can we go see Nan’s grave on the weekend?’

‘Sure.’

They took the Citroen. Oliver suggested flowers, so they stopped at the florist in town. Tash selected winter-flowering daphne, and the rose-citrus scent filled the interior of the car as they headed to the Bells Line of Road cemetery.

Late winter, the poetic country landscape was bathed in a soft, misty light. After they found Elsie’s grave, they sat down on the grass and Tash placed her flowers.

‘Do you regret scattering your mum’s ashes?’ Oliver asked.

Tash shook her head. ‘She’s on the wind. On the wings of a bird.’ She lay back on the grass. ‘Tell me again how you and Mum met.’

‘You know this story backwards, but okay. I went to school with Lizzy. Always had a crush on her – everyone did. After I left school, I didn’t see much of her because she was studying.’

‘And you were racing and working in the garage.’

‘That’s right. One day, she came in with Elsie and I caught her eye. That was all it took. One look and I knew she liked me.’ When he paused, a serious expression crossed his face. ‘I mean, how could she not? I was an under-eighteen champion, on my way to becoming an Australian?— ’

‘Oliver!’

He laughed. ‘So, I did what every man tries to do.’

‘Impress her?’

‘That’s right. I wanted to win her over. First, with my exceptional riding skills, but that only got me so far. Then, I took her dancing. Impressed the socks off her.’

‘More than the riding?’

‘Yes.’

‘And that was when you knew you had her. And then you got pregnant and had me.’ Tash raised her arms in the air and cheered.

Oliver smiled.

They were quiet for some time, listening to the sounds of bellbirds and small animals rustling in the undergrowth. The occasional car passing. It was a still day, noises travelled quickly. The sun was now shining. Tash lay back on the grass and held her hands up to shade her face.

‘Mia and I…we broke up,’ Oliver said.

Tash sat up. ‘Is it because of me? Because?—’

‘No. You were Mia’s friend first.’ Oliver sighed. ‘I tried my best, but I think what I offered was too much too soon…at least too much for her. It’s no one’s fault – but at the first obstacle, she bailed. She might not be ready for a serious relationship. Or maybe she’s not ready for one with me.’

Tash considered her father. ‘But you were an under-eighteen champion,’ she pleaded.

‘I know.’

‘Are you sad?’

‘Yes. I’m very sad.’

She wrapped her arms around him. He smoothed her hair down and kissed the top of her head.

‘Can you get her back?’

‘It’s her call. I have to respect that. ’

‘Is it going to be awkward if you meet her in the street, like star-crossed lovers?’

‘Yes.’

Tash chewed her lip. ‘I’m going to call Mary and break our knitting date. You need me more.’

Oliver smiled. ‘Star-crossed lovers?’

‘It’s from Romeo and Juliet . Did you know that the traditional owners of this land were the Mudgee and Dabee clans?’ Tash asked. ‘The name ‘Mudgee’ means ‘Nest in the Hills’. We’re learning about it in history.’ She turned to face her father.

Oliver shook his head. Aboriginal history wasn’t taught when he was at school.

‘The women’s totem is the wedge-tailed eagle. Eagle Nest - get it?’

‘Makes sense.’

‘The philosophy of the clans was something called ‘Yindyamarra’, which means respect. But it also means to think before you act and have kindness and responsibility for others and yourself, while also appreciating the world.’ She lay back on the grass and continued to stare at the sky.

Oliver lay next to her and followed her gaze.

Soon, they heard footsteps and turned. Haloed against the morning sun, a man was walking through the gravestones. It was Arthur.

Tash waved and called him over. The old man meandered his way around the headstones.

‘What are you doing here?’ Tash asked.

‘Visiting old friends,’ Arthur replied. ‘Unfortunately, absence doesn’t make the heart grow fonder.’ He looked up and scanned the brush that surrounded the cemetery. ‘Seen any robins about?’

Tash shook her head. She brushed the grass off her legs and stood up. Oliver followed.

‘They’re here,’ Arthur said. ‘Especially the red-breasted ones. Look at the lower branches – they also like fence railings. You’ll hear them twitter.’ He offered them Minties from his pocket.

Oliver declined. Tash took two. Unfurling the wrapper, she popped the mint into her mouth.

After that, Arthur said goodbye. They watched him disappear between the headstones while they walked back to the car. Tash was on the lookout for robins, but there were none about.

‘Do you feel comfortable around Arthur?’ Oliver asked, opening the car door.

‘Yes. Why?’ She brushed the grass off her shoes before sliding into the car.

‘No reason.’ Oliver leaned on the door. ‘Just be careful. Not everyone is honest.’

‘You’re giving me the creeps.’

‘Good.’

Oliver climbed into the car. He started the engine, and they drove back to town. As the car idled in the mid-morning tourist traffic, he said, ‘Can you hear that? There’s a rattle.’

‘In the engine?’ Tash asked.

‘On the left.’

They listened. As the car moved forward, the rattle returned. Oliver frowned, concerned. ‘Probably just a loose plate.’

‘Let’s hope so.’

Oliver drummed his fingers on the steering wheel.

Tash frowned. ‘You do that on the kitchen table. Mary and I find it annoying.’