Page 37 of The Side Road (Love Chronicles #3)

CHICKEN

The following Sunday, Holly left for the wellness retreat.

Home alone, Mia couldn’t sit still. Like an untethered kite, she drifted around the empty house.

For a while, Snood followed her. Hoping for some attention, the dog thought she might eventually settle on the bed or in the reading nook.

But Mia continued to wander aimlessly from room to room.

Looking for a distraction, cooking seemed like a good way to fill an empty afternoon.

One ingredient at a time, she moved between the refrigerator and table, gathering items for her vegetable pasta: half a pumpkin, a bunch of broccoli, cauliflower florets, butter, parsley, and parmesan cheese.

Back and forth she went. It was the most inefficient use of her time that she could imagine.

Lacking an appetite, she eventually abandoned the idea and returned the ingredients to the refrigerator.

Suddenly, she felt the need to handwash something.

Delicate fabrics and needlepoint lace required gentle care.

It only took a few minutes of actual hands-on labour.

After filling the laundry sink with lukewarm water and mild detergent, she separated the dark colours from the whites.

Full immersion was required, then a light scrub and brief soak.

Rinse, then repeat. The pieces were always air-dried and then laid on a rack away from the sunlight.

They never went into the dryer. Maintaining the garment’s shape and size was important.

If an item of clothing shrank or lost its shape, it was almost impossible for it to return to its original size.

Finding a partner was also about getting the fit right. Like a garment, a partner had to be comfortable. Not too tight or too loose – the right amount of flexibility was important – because you had to fit into each other’s lives.

As Mia arranged her underwear and turned her silk shirts on the drying rack, she realised Oliver might not be the right fit for her.

He was a dreamer, while she was a pragmatist. At times, he was young and boyish.

She was an adult, always. She liked his height, but she saw how this was also a disparity.

Soon, her mindset about him – about them – started to shift.

There were too many women in his past – the orgasm gap was ridiculous.

He was working, but didn’t have a proper job, not really.

His age was a problem. Five years may seem trivial later in life, but it was significant in your thirties; an immutable fact.

While their arrangement had been fun – and the benefits were mutual – it was time to… to what?

She couldn’t just end it. Could she? That would be unfair to Oliver.

He was doing the right thing. His actions might be questionable, but his heart was in the right place.

He cared, and that was important. If his pregnant ex-lover showed up out of the blue and wanted to stay with him, who was she to stand in the way?

But when he looked into her eyes, did he see how jealous she was? Did he know how horrible she felt? When feelings of unworthiness and self-doubt stirred inside her, she shook them off .

‘Situations like this bring out the worst in me,’ she told Snood as he brought her his ball. ‘I am no match for that woman. I don’t want to compete with her for Oliver.’

Snood dropped the ball at her feet. He wiggled backwards, anticipating a game of catch. Mia picked the ball up and placed it on the shelf. Catch was an outside game. A heaviness descended over her. Fending off despair required willpower that she didn’t have.

She lit a candle and ate a large chocolate chip cookie.

Then she took a hot bath, which strengthened her resolve.

While drying herself, she decided the best course of action was distance.

She would continue to give Oliver a wide berth until his problems with Cindy were resolved.

Space was never a bad idea. Isolation fostered personal growth and promoted inner strength.

Later that evening, she finished a winter hat. Red and white with a geometric edge detail. She slipped it over Snood’s head and tied it under his chin. Never was there a more unimpressed dog.

Mia took the hat off. ‘It’s for Holly’s baby. Don’t tell her you wore it first.’

Snood offered a serious frown and she knew her secret was safe. After he placed his chin on her thighs, he gave her his best concerned dog face. With sorrowful eyes and a crinkled forehead, he let out a small whine.

‘I know.’ She fondled his ears.

On the first day of August, the full force of the winter winds arrived. A howling gale tore through the leafless tree branches. It funnelled through the streets with gusts so strong they could knock a person off their feet.

Lying in bed, Oliver felt weathered, as if he were coated in rust. He stared at the ceiling.

Mia was pulling away from him and he didn’t know how to halt her retreat.

In racing, the goal was always to move forward.

Speed got you over the finish line; only the injured retired.

Reverse was never an option because motorbikes didn’t have a reverse gear.

He loved her. He had no intention of crossing the finish line without her, but everyone ran their own race.

Sometimes your teammate’s plans were hard to predict.

When the wind outside stilled, he heard breathing. He cocked his head. Cindy was lying next to him. Wearing a singlet top, her dark hair covered the pillow beside him.

‘What the fuck are you doing?’

‘I got spooked. An old woman died in this house. I was sure I heard something in the kitchen. Thought I’d sleep with you for the rest of the night. I feel safer here.’

He rolled out of bed. ‘No.’ He shook his head. ‘This is not happening. You’re moving to a hotel.’

She climbed out of bed and glared at him. Her skimpy top and knickers covered very little of her pregnant body.

‘Cindy, I care about you, and I care about your baby. But you can’t come into my room. I’m in a relationship.’

‘Really? Because it doesn’t seem that serious.’

‘I don’t care what you think.’

Cindy stormed out of the room. Somewhere in the house, a door slammed. Oliver sighed. ‘Again, with the doors.’

He slipped on a pair of track pants and followed her into the hallway. There was no sign of Cindy, but Mia was standing by the front door.

‘It was unlocked,’ she said, pointing to the door handle.

He let out a long sigh. It felt like he was expiring. ‘Did you see her come out of my room, because it’s not what it looks like?’

‘Cindy was in your room?’ Rebellion flashed in her eyes .

‘Never mind.’

‘We need to talk.’ She looked him over. ‘Do you need a moment? Shall I meet you in the garage?’

‘Fuck.’ He ran his hand through his hair.

As Mia stood beside the Black Shadow, Oliver looked from the gleaming bike to the dishevelled woman.

The bike renovation was almost complete; all he needed was that elusive exhaust and it would be as good as new.

Conversely, Mia looked like she was falling apart.

He didn’t know how to fix her. But he knew heartache was coming for him.

‘Oliver, I’m going to step back from this. From us.’ She stood very still, absorbed in her words.

‘What does step back mean?’ Anger stormed his face.

‘It means I need some time. I thought we could go back to being friends for a while.’

‘Why?’

‘What do you mean, why?’

‘Mia, what do you expect me to do? Throw her out on the street? Pretend she doesn’t exist? I’m not going to do that. Turning your back on this – on us – won’t make it go away.’

‘I don’t think asking for space is unreasonable.’

‘That’s not what you’re doing. You’re acting like a spoilt kid who doesn’t get what she wants, so she takes her cricket bat and goes home.’ The words tumbled out of his mouth and landed on the cold concrete floor of the garage. This was a mistake he couldn’t take back.

‘Cricket bat?’

‘Netball. Whatever.’ He shrugged.

Her mouth was quizzical, like a crochet hook. The intense look she gave him made him catch his breath. Her blue eyes were dark, like asphalt .

‘It’s been fun, but it’s over.’

‘I didn’t take you for a chicken.’

‘I’m not a chicken. Why am I a chicken?’

‘Because you’re running away.’

She hesitated. ‘If I’m a chicken, then you’re pig-headed.’

‘You fucking rock my world – that doesn’t happen very often. I know you feel it too. For whatever reason, you’re not being honest.’

‘Well, this is interesting.’ She crossed her arms over her chest. ‘First, you call me a chicken and now I’m a liar.’

‘I’m calling it how I see it.’

‘Maybe you should get your eyes checked because you’re not seeing straight.’ She leered at him.

‘I have perfect vision. I can even see into the future, and you’re making a big mistake.’

‘I won’t change my mind. I hope everything works out for you. Good luck with the bike, and I hope you find the money.’

‘Are you serious?’

‘Of course I’m serious. Oliver, I can’t do this. I really can’t. It’s no one’s fault. We just ran out of gas.’

He swept a hand through his hair. ‘I will sort this out.’ He looked into her eyes. ‘Please don’t do this. Stay with the program. Stay with us.’

‘Oliver, it’s over. You made the rules. I can back out any time.’

He paused, considering her. ‘At the first hurdle, you bolt. And it’s not even that big a jump. Okay, run away. Go back to your house on the hill. Goodbye.’

At home, Mia lay on the floor and Snood lay next to her, a metre of space between them. She rolled the tennis ball to the dog. Snood stopped the ball with his paw and rolled it back to her. Mia pushed it back.

‘Are you enjoying this? Because it might be the most relaxing game in the world. Honestly, he doesn’t matter. I don’t care about him.’

Snood rolled the ball to her. She rolled it back.

‘Besides, loneliness is not the epidemic people make it out to be – it’s more like a sanctuary. I can see the value in living a monk-like existence.’

Snood always knew when she was lying. Depending on the depth of the lie, he would either walk away or ignore her. This time, he stood up and walked away. Not before picking the ball up and taking it with him.

‘Come back,’ Mia called. ‘I’m not lying, I’m omitting on purpose. I know what you’re thinking, and you’re mistaken.’

Snood turned and gave her a look that said, ‘You broke his heart.’

‘Better his than mine,’ she replied.

Oliver was like a flash flood over the dry country. Great while it lasted, but eventually the clouds moved on. Spending time apart would benefit them both. They needed time to reflect on their feelings for one another. It had been a whirlwind affair. Stepping back was a sensible approach.

But she hadn’t just stepped away. She had ended it.

From the sitting room chair, Quinn’s wonky eye gave Mia an amused, self-effacing look, which made Mia feel profoundly sad.

Like stitches falling from a needle, she felt love slipping away.

Stoicism was beyond her, and she cried like a bereft child, who, having taken her netball home, realised she had hurt her friends and ruined the game.

If there was a loser in all of this, then it was her.

Eventually, she picked herself up off the floor. With the heels of her hands, she wiped her face. After a few deep breaths, she felt better.

She considered taking a bath. But there was only so much hot water, a pair of comfortable socks, and a cup of imported cocoa could do.

What she needed was to curl up in a nook with a pleasant outlook.

A place with a view of the garden. A place where she felt safe.

One that she could peek out of and view the world.

She lit a few candles and threw a rug over herself.