Page 38 of The Shattered King

“I’ll get you a new tray.” He crouched and picked up the spilled dinner as best he could. Stood. “Thank you, Nym,” and he left, closing the door softly behind him.

I sank into his chair and dropped my head into my hands. “I can’t do this.”

“ He cares about you, Nym. ”

I never understood how much my sister could experience of my life; at times I needed to explain things to her, at others she seemed to already know.

Perhaps her pieces in my lumis allowed her a view into my senses or thoughts; perhaps it was a mix of the two.

I’d never faulted her for it. Before Ursa’s death, we’d shared everything. We’d been inseparable.

“I can’t do this again. Especially not with a gods-forsaken prince , Ursa.”

I could almost feel her humming, as though she used my own throat to do so. “ It is ... complicated. ”

“Complicated!” I launched from my chair. “It is more than complicated . Complicated denotes a solution, albeit a hard-earned one, to a problem. This is not complicated. This is impassable.”

“ If he were a farmer’s son? A tanner? A cooper? ”

“It wouldn’t matter.” I swallowed hard against a rising knot in my throat. “I will not do this again. I told you, never again.” I still hadn’t recovered from the last one. I thought I had, but today—

“ But you care for him, Nym. ”

“I am literally required to. It’s my job.”

“ Anger is a mask to hide harder feelings. ”

I growled at her. “Don’t. You know better.”

“ I do. And I’m so sorry, Nym. But you’re hurting right now. The lens through which you see the world is cracked. ”

“Right now compared to when?” I snapped back. “Yesterday? Two weeks ago? Two months ago? The lens is all the same when you consider—”

“Who are you talking to?”

I jumped, gooseflesh running tracks up my entire body, and whirled around to see Renn in the doorway with a new tray.

“I ... thought I’d just bring you mine.” He stepped inside and shut the door, gaze never leaving me as he crossed to the table. Set the tray down. “Who are you talking to?”

Every muscle in my body tensed. “No one.”

“No one?” He crossed over to me, looking behind the furniture, then walked into my bedroom to check there.

“This is highly inappropriate,” I shot at him.

“You can be in my bedroom, but I can’t be in yours?” But there was no teasing in his tone, no innuendo. He completed his search quickly then returned to me, standing a pace away, but his aura seemed to engulf me.

“ Tell him. ”

“To myself.”

“Yourself?”

“ Tell him. See how he reacts. ”

He’ll react like I’m insane, that’s what, I’d snap back if we were alone.

“ Maybe he’ll send you home. ”

Ursa always had a wicked sense of logic.

I forced my shoulders to relax. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“Try me.” He folded his arms.

Putting on a facade of nonchalance, I walked over to the tray. Popped a grape into my mouth. “My dead sister.”

He laughed. “And you talk to her often?”

“Yes, actually.”

I felt him watching me. I helped myself to some minced game and spread it on a torn piece of bread. It was delicious , but I masked the pleasure of it.

“Nym.”

I chewed, swallowed. “You said you appreciated my honesty, so there it is. I was talking to Ursa.”

“ You could be a little more forthcoming. ”

I glanced over; confusion dragged at his features, minus one eyebrow, which sat as high up on his forehead as the flesh would allow.

I stepped away from the tray. “You said you wanted to know more about me, so there you have it. My sister died when we were sixteen. She repaired my lumis with her own. Ever since, I’ve been able to hear her. Speak with her.”

He stared at me a moment longer. “You’re serious?”

“Very.”

“And ... she’s here right now?”

I paused. “You believe me?”

“Are you lying to me?”

“No.”

“Then ... I guess I have to.” He turned, searching for an apparition.

“She’s not a haunting spirit. You can’t see her, and neither can I.”

He rolled his lips together. “But I can’t hear her.”

“Only I can.” My siblings had tried desperately to hear Ursa’s voice, but even when I was dowsing into them, she could reach no farther than my own limits. “Which means it’s a moot point, or you can have me committed. In Fount, preferably.”

He lowered himself into a chair. “And ... is this why, in the market—”

“No.”

He didn’t step any farther up that trail. Watched me for several long seconds before his eyes widened. “That other presence I feel when you dowse sometimes.”

He’d mentioned that when he’d retrieved me from the dungeon. Neck tight, I nodded.

He let out a long breath. Swore under his breath.

Nearly a minute passed.

“All right, then,” he tried. “Hi, Ursa.”

“ Hello. ”

“I’m not playing interpreter for you,” I mumbled.

“ You always were a spoilsport. ”

“What?”

I sighed. “Thank you, for the dinner.” I looked over the tray, over the room, at the blatant gestures of kindness he had shown me.

He truly was kind. Kind, gentle, contemplative, good .

He was a good man, perhaps the best of my acquaintance, save perhaps my father.

“You have ... made all of this easier on me. Thank you.”

“It’s kind of advantageous, isn’t it?” he asked, still searching the room as though an ephemeral woman might pop out of the wall, identical to me in every way—sun-kissed skin, overcurled hair, gray eyes. “Having her near, whenever you want her.”

“I’d rather have her alive.”

“ That isn’t fair. ”

He blanched. “Of course. I only ... I only meant to say, I wish I had a sibling I could talk to like that. As easily as you seem to talk to her.”

“You could, if you wanted.” I lowered myself to the sofa between our two chairs. “You have two in the castle. And I know one will definitely be receptive to you.”

He smiled. “You’re right. I should reach out to him.”

I started. “I didn’t mean—”

“I know.”

I grabbed a cushion and tossed it at him; he caught it and set it aside. “One more question, before you retire,” he said.

“What?”

“Ursa.” He leaned forward. “Do you use her to cheat at danerin?”