Page 4 of The Shadow Fae Rhapsody (Elven Fantasy Romance #3)

Chapter 3 Svenn

J ust when I thought I was beginning to understand Rhianelle, she does something beyond the realm of my expectations.

I use the solitude of the Asharay mountain to calm myself down. What is coursing through my blood right now is not anger, but fear.

God fucking dammit.

I run a hand over my face. My hands are still trembling at the thought of losing her. I finally understand how Bas must have felt when Gwyn was taken from him.

I gather the little remains of my sanity and return to the keep. Her watchful guardian glimpses my arrival. Tall One takes his leave without words, his hard face yields nothing.

Silence coats the night as I enter the room. Her lights are out and the room is far too cold. The air smells faintly of water lilies and I inhale deeply.

My sweet Nel is lying on the bed in her white nightgown with her silver hair splayed across the vermillion sheet. She’s so small and fragile, the kind of creature you delight hunting in the forest.

Little fawn’s soft features appear relaxed with her eyes closed, almost at peace.

The dreaded moment has come. What started as a beautiful day with the promise of spending time with her, ended with Rhianelle realizing she’s been living with a monster.

I never hid who I am.

It never even occurred to me to help the elves by hunting the creature in the sewers. I expect a wave of shame to wash over me, but nothing comes. The innocent lives lost don’t matter to me the slightest bit.

The truth is, I don’t fucking care.

Save the people? Save the city? I was ready to raze it to the fucking ground just so Nel and I can be together.

It makes me realized how worlds apart I am from the girl sleeping on the bed, trying her best to stop an inevitable war. Her last words at the town square rattle me.

“If you have the power to help, then why didn’t you use it to save those people?”

Her question is like a punch to the gut. It makes me realize the unrealistic expectations she has from me. Some part of Rhianelle believes that I am good.

I don’t know what kind of pretty pictures of me she has painted in her mind.

A warrior? A holy knight?

She deserves all that. Someone good and kind. Too fucking bad I’m not it.

But the most fucked up thing about this whole thing is that, had she asked me to be good, I would have done it for her.

Yes.

She makes me want to be that person. The kind of person who deserves her.

What is happening to me?

How did I let it get this far? The girl is threatening the very foundation of my being, unraveling me slowly. She keeps peeling all these layers from me and now she has seen what lies underneath.

I’m nothing but a monster.

The hollow corner of my heart ache as I stare at her sleeping form. We’re so close and yet I feel so far away from her. Rhianelle is as unattainable as the sun itself.

There is no nightmare haunting her tonight, no reason for me to creep into her bed. I should leave her alone.

Fuck it.

I slide onto the bed and pull her into my arms. She almost died today. I can’t imagine a world without her in it.

There will no longer be any stroll in the park, no more chases, no more late night reading, no more stolen glances.

What a dull, sad world without her in it. I might as well just burn the whole fucking thing to the ground.

“I’ll never let anything hurt you,” I vow to her ear, kissing it.

“You’re the only thing that matters to me.” I drop another kiss to her temple. “My everything. I can’t lose you, Nel.”

She’s the only reason I stayed in this atrocious world. I slowly let go of my anger and my fear. Nel is safe. That’s all that matters.

I’ll do better.

Yes, that’s it.

That’s what I’ve decided. I’ll be a better person so I can stay with her. I close my eyes and slowly fall into my dormant state. I inhale her scent deep into my lungs, wishing I can imprison it there. If light and life have a scent, this is it. It’s her. I love feeling her close to my chest, close to my heart.

My blood runs cold when I feel her move beneath me. Rhianelle slowly slips from my arms and slides out of bed.

What the fuck? She’s awake…?

Fear like I’ve never felt in my existence seizes me. I listen to the pounding of her heart. This calm and regular beat…

I fucking forgot… Rhianelle has a baseline heart rate of sixty beats per minutes. It’s near fatal and too damn low for a human, let alone an elf. But earlier her heart rhythm paced nearly to a hundred.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

There’s a huge possibility she wasn’t even sleeping from the start. I should have known something was off the moment I saw the bed was made and properly tucked. Rhianelle usually hogs the blanket and bundles herself in a cocoon every night.

Why didn’t I consider any of this?

I am eternally fucked.

The things I said earlier… she heard it all. Now she knows I’m a fucking creep who crawls into her bed and holds her without permission every night. All my plans to win her back crumble into ashes.

I’m a fool.

I’ve fucking ruined it…

My heart drops to the deepest goddamn hell hole. I can’t move a single muscle. The least terrible outcome is that there might be an even bigger rift between us. The worst would be for her to tell me to go away forever.

Let me go, Svenn.

Those words nearly killed me earlier. Maybe this time it’ll finally finish the job.

I wait for her to confront me.

But Rhianelle is taking a sweet and agonizing time to do it.

I keep my eyes closed, but the rest of my senses remain acute to whatever she does. I hear the clanking of the water pitcher, the sound of her graceful swallow, the padding of her feet across the room.

What is she doing? Why isn’t she saying anything?

I narrow my eyes a little to peek at whatever the odd girl is doing. Rhianelle makes a trip to the dresser to fix her hair. Once she is satisfied, she returns to the bed again.

Shit.

I snap my eyes shut quickly.

I can feel her sharp gaze on me, checking to see if I’m asleep… I remain still, keeping my breathing even. Seconds turn into minutes until a small eternity passes.

The bed shifts with her weight once again. And just like that, the girl tucks herself comfortably into my arms as silently as she left.

What?

Her fingers move on the skin of my arm, tracing invisible markings. At first I thought she’s writing one of her recipes, but Nel is just signing her name over and over on my skin.

Heat prickles on my skin, sending pulsating waves of desire into every nerve. I feel all that from her touching my arm. Devil help me when she touches my cock.

But I’m forgetting the most important thing here.

This means Rhianelle doesn’t mind me holding her. I swallow hard. She wants me in her bed.

I don’t want to shatter this spell between us. I snake my arm around her waist, securing her closer to me. My hand accidentally grazes her breast, and a gentle sigh leaves her. I smile at the uneven cadence of her heart at the touch.

I wonder where else I can ‘accidentally’ touch her in my sleep. I want to flip her around to face me and claim her lips.

No, that would be too fucking obvious. If I’m going to play with her, it has to be subtle, the unconscious movement of someone who is asleep.

Slowly, I bury my face in her neck. Goosebumps erupt on her skin at the feel of my breath and she goes absolutely still. I plant my lips on the sensitive skin there, clamping my mouth and sucking hard. Rhianelle gasps at that, and by the devil, the sound is so fucking sweet.

My hand moves to cup her breast as I reel her in closer, hugging her like she’s my personal doll. I tease her sensitive elven ear, kissing, licking, and sucking the soft lobes. Her body arches and she makes little anguish noises that go straight to my balls.

Hell, I fucking love her reactions. I’ve never felt so desperate for someone in my entire existence.

I nibble on the delicate tip of her ear and it twitches desperately. Her delicate breathing turns ragged, harsher. Then I feel drops of tears on my arm. Something like guilt clamps on my chest but I ignore it because I’m an asshole.

I keep testing her tolerance until she’s writhing and whimpering in my grasp. I can’t seem to help myself when it comes to her.

Come on, Nel.

How long are you planning to keep this up?

Why don’t we cut this bullshit and play together?

No matter what I do to her, Rhianelle keeps pretending that she’s sound asleep. The temptation to keep on teasing her until she surrenders is almost overwhelming. I want to slide my hand into the slick arousal between her thighs.

But I know any more than this would be too cruel for my soft little fawn.

I quit teasing her.

Now is not the time to test out one of my licentious fantasies. I need some fucking restraint if I still want a chance with her.

My fingers run long, soothing strokes down her sides. She slowly becomes languid in my arms as she falls into a deep slumber. I can hardly believe that any of this is real. But here she is…

The girl has chosen to stay.

Rhianelle is still here despite hearing me admit that I’m a fucking monster who cares little for mortal lives.

A weight lifts from my chest as I watch her nestled like a bird in the crook of my arm. The chaos brewing in my mind calms, knowing that she wants to be here with me.

Nel chose me.