Page 137 of The Secrets of Jane: Reborn

Interesting.

So far, I’ve been watching every move of this new guard and Iris, wondering if I could kill them to escape… except I have no idea how many guards are down the stairs after everything that happened.

Don’t worry. Something will present itself.

I want to believe that Anya was right about freeing the siren, and that people will be coming.That Melona was right to suggest peoplearecoming for me.

I eat my food once a pitcher is placed inside my room, right at the door, before it locks again. I drink leisurely, so as not to make myself nauseous. The food goes down easier, and I slowly eat my bread and apple as I stare out the window at the ocean, knowing I’m facing the wrong way. If they’ll come from anywhere, it’ll be south, or southwest. This faces north, toward an open ocean before we come across Misery’s island. I know nothing about it other than it’sverysecluded, and apparently named Boneglass.

It’s crossed my mind that I can find a way to end myself. Get rid of Misery’s grand visionandsave lives. Maybe commit to it as I take out another, like Blackwell or Jesper.Someway to make it worth it.

I just don’t have it in me, yet.

Not yet. Not with Anya’s sacrifice. Not with the oath I gave Soren that I’d find his sister for him. She’s sufferedtoo, which means I can endure whatever is yet to come.

They’ll regret ever taking me.

S O R E N

Movement is never-ending as we prepare ourselves, a sense of finality overhanging us all. Some will not return alive, and these are the last days those hearts will beat. The unwritten nature of murderous conflict always brings a deep element of unfairness. There are those that will suffer simply as calamity on that peninsula, and they, too, unknowingly live their last days.

Only the other side of this will reveal who will make it.

I’m standing on the beach, the longboats nearing us that will take us to Storm’s Fury, the sun having crossed the sky and is nearing the horizon line. The sirens are ready, and so is Liam. I sense out all the moving men behind me, still wearing my mask. There’s a disruption within them, although I have not addressed it, yet.

Finally a few come near, one that is long standing with me. Another is young, and the third has an evolving heart that started changing in loyalties once he had his children.

They don’t want to be here.

The men all take a knee in the sand. “My liege, we want to speak,” the one in the middle asks.

“Clearly.”

“I’ve traveled with you for a long time, Soren,” he says, connecting his gaze with mine; a spark of fear flares in his heart. “This is a lot to risk for Ritter’s daughter. About a quarter just want to go home.”

Lifting my gaze with a blink, I allow that statement to settle on my shoulders as I try to understand what to do with it. All my men are out on this coast, either eating, drinking water, putting on their armor, or sharpening their blades as we wait. I survey them; a weakness is plotted, very unstable in its grip.

I bellow out, “I hear some of you want to go home.”

Everyone slows down to a halt, either with their water to their lips, or about to swipe a whetstone on their blade, all looking at me so the ocean is the only sound.Bones slowly moves my way, hands in his pockets, before turning to face the men with a mismatched gaze. Stubble lines his face; linesallof ours.

While my right side remains fucking empty.

“Did you all happen to notice we are missing someone?” I slowly pace around, my arms still crossed as I approach a man. “Areyouwanting to go home?”

“No, my liege.”

I can tell.

I go to another, one of the men has been affected since the murder of Silas and Mads. “Butyoudo.”

He is silent. Embarrassed.

“Do you think I’d call every one of you to risk your life for something personal of mine? Have I ever done that?” I think of Serena, and how even still, I don’t demand my men’s lives for that. “I could storm Ashfire with a dozen men, including the Scorpion, and get Jane out if I needed to.” I point to them all. “You’re all coming because this bitch named Misery plans to fuck every one of us over like we’re some common wench he can use when he pleases.”

I motion back to the opposite side of Bones, where Anya would stand; where her energy is so completely lacking. “He alreadyhasby killing Anya,” I say, letting that settle on them, the statement striking through like lightning. “This is a fuckinggodthat is trying desperately to reclaim a physical body. Right now, we are the only ones with wind of his goals that have any power and advancement to stop him. Blackwell is among him, so other Zenith can’t be trusted.” I slowly walk back to the three men, taking very deliberate steps as I stand in front of them. “Why the hesitation this time, when we’ve risked our lives before? This wasn’t there when we entered the Undercroft.”

I do not want them here if they are to feel this, but I need to know what’s different.