Page 57 of The Second Chance Bus Stop

Link o ping

When I get back late afternoon, having walked the short distance from the bus stop, Blade isn’t there so I undress and walk

down to the lake for a swim. It’s warmer now, and I don’t even hesitate as I walk in. I dip my whole head under, tricking

a swarm of mosquitos that fly above the surface searching for me in vain. I walk back barefoot with my body dripping water

onto the forest path. I think that Blade’s sweater would be nice right about now, the black one with the soft lining that

he cut the tag off for me. Except when I get inside there is no sweater. There is no Blade. In fact, everything of Blade’s

is gone. I feel myself start to tremble. He should be here waiting for me along with all his things that he’s moved into the

camper-van from the tent.

Where did you go? I message him.

Blade: Mum is hurt. I had to leave. I’m sorry. Speak soon.

I’m too much in shock to reply. He’s left me , that’s all I can think. After all that, he didn’t even say goodbye. He just left.

Speak soon can mean either I’ll call you within the next hour, or what my history of almost-kissing men has taught that it’s more likely to mean—never.

Here’s the sad but true thing. A lot of people are like roses— Rosaceae . Beautiful, sweet-smelling and popular. But underneath the perfect display they are prickly, ready to hurt you. If times

get hard, and the environment isn’t exactly what they wanted, they revert to their true state of being, boring and unscented.

This is exactly what has happened with Blade—and I should have seen it coming. Life is this endless confusion. Why I can’t

read people properly. Because this shouldn’t have happened. He shouldn’t have left. He said I could trust him, that I should trust him. But why would I trust someone who can walk away, just like that?

I want to shout . I never change my routine for anyone, but then you became my routine despite all odds, and now you changed it! I’m melt-downing so much I just sit and rock on the floor, and deep down I know it’s my own fault for falling so hard. It’s

like I’ve waited all these years and finally released all the feelings I’d bottled up, unleashing them on this one man . I calm down slowly, and my senses start to catch up. I imagine Blade’s arms around me, squeezing tight and pushing all the

anxiety away. That helps. Because though I’m crying over him, he’s the one I want to take the pain away.