Page 23 of The Seascape Between Us (The Men of Saltwater Cove #4)

Chapter Sixteen

Daniel

A cool breeze blew in off the ocean, chilling my sweat-soaked skin as I ran alongside Brody on the boardwalk.

So early in the morning, the beach was empty and quiet, just seagulls squawking and sweeping down over the roiling surf, washing gently onto the wet sand.

Our footfalls thudded against the rough wood boards.

Grey had managed to keep me at the house for another day after we’d formally settled into his father’s house, but despite his suggestion that one more day of rest wouldn’t hurt, I was all rested out.

When Brody texted, asking if I wanted to go for a run, I jumped at it. Being outside with the gentle, salty breeze sweeping my hair back felt refreshing after days of doing nothing—and a little space from Grey and Oliver Mackenzie’s house gave me time to think.

Despite feeling restless with nothing to do, when Grey and I were together, we fell into a strange sort of domestic routine, and despite knowing better, I enjoyed it.

We hadn’t had sex again since that first day, as if finding the letter from Grey’s father had left us uncertain about where we stood with each other now.

I had told him I was okay with a business-partners-with-benefits thing, telling myself that, after all this time, I could be satisfied with a purely physical relationship with Grey.

In the back of my mind, though, where I was much more honest with myself, I knew I was playing with fire.

Anytime Grey was near me, my skin prickled, and I desperately wanted him to touch me again, to feel his body pressed against mine, to taste him.

But it was more than just physical need.

Every time I looked up and caught him looking at me with that soft sort of thoughtful look, my heart swelled in my chest, and I had to look away.

He said he wanted to pick up where we left off, but how could we?

He’d made a real success of himself, and he had more money than I’d ever seen in my lifetime.

We didn’t exist in the same world. Eventually, he’d finish renovating the hotel and return to Portland, and I would stay here to run it. Just like I always have.

It’s not as though I didn’t like working at the hotel, it was what I’d always planned on doing, and I loved living in The Square. But it wasn’t the glamorous life that Grey was used to. He’d be trying to gnaw his arm off like an animal caught in a trap within six months if he tried to stay.

If I let myself feel anything for him again, like when we were kids, I don’t think I could survive when he went back to his old life.

“So,” Brody said, breaking the silence for the first time since we’d hit the boardwalk. “Are you going to tell me how you ended up in Oliver Mackenzie’s house with Grey Mackenzie? Are you guys together now?”

“Not really,” I said.

He looked over at me and frowned. “What does that mean?”

“It’s like a friends-with-benefits situation, and we both needed somewhere to stay while the hotel was being redone.” I shrugged. “Nothing serious.”

“You know you’re a terrible liar,” Brody said.

“I’m not lying. That’s exactly what we’re doing.” I could feel Brody’s gaze on me again, but I didn’t look over.

“But?” he prompted.

“What makes you think there’s a but?”

“Because your face has been stuck in a permanent scowl since we started running.”

“I’m not scowling,” I said, but I could feel my frown deepening. “I’m just… thinking.”

“About?”

Brody was never going to back off until I gave him an answer that satisfied him. I sighed and told him everything—how Grey thought Ryan and I had been messing around and how Oliver McKenzie had been so desperate to keep me away from his son that he’d lied to him about it.

Brody chuckled. “I can’t believe he actually thought you and Ryan could be together.”

“I’m not sure if I should be offended by that or not,” I told him, casting a sidelong look at him.

Brody smirked. “Since you two had about as much chemistry as brothers.”

“Yeah, well, I’m sure his father filling his head with shit about me didn’t help.”

“No, it wouldn’t have. Who knew Oliver McKenzie could be such a dick?”

In the years that I’d brought him his groceries, ran errands for him, he’d always seemed so friendly, almost glad to see me. I had no idea how little he thought of me. I shrugged. “He just didn’t want his son being held back by someone who couldn’t get their shit together.”

From my peripheral, I saw Brody glance my way again, and I kept my gaze forward.

“You always had your shit together,” Brody said. “He was just an asshole.”

“How would you know? You didn’t know me back then.” Brody didn’t know I was in the same place I’d been seventeen years ago, the same place I’d probably be in another seventeen years. If my situation changed at all, it would only be because of Grey helping with the hotel.

“Ryan told me,” Brody said. “Christ, you were only eighteen, running that hotel and taking care of your stepmom. Not many kids that age could manage a business and still care for a sick parent.”

I jerked a shoulder. The time I’d spent caring for Ramona while managing the hotel had been brief.

She had to go into a long-term care home.

From there, she started to deteriorate so quickly that I’d had to find somewhere that had around-the-clock care.

It had been expensive, but I never could have lived with myself if I hadn’t been able to find a place where I knew she would be well looked after.

“Do you think that’s why he bought into the hotel?” Brody asked. “Guilt?”

“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I didn’t really know why he did it at the time.

I assumed it was for the community.” The hotel brought a lot of business to Oceanwind Square in the summer months.

At the time, I’d been too desperate to ask too many questions.

After having to put so much money into Ramona’s care, I had taken on debt and couldn’t afford so many of the big fixes around the hotel.

I wouldn’t have survived another off-season without his help.

“What does all that mean for you and Mackenzie Junior?” Brody asked.

I shrugged again. “Friends with benefits, like I said.”

“He’s good with that?”

“He is now.”

“What does that mean?”

“When he first found the letter, he thought we should just pick up where we left off. That’s crazy, of course.

I mean, it’s been almost twenty years since we were together, and even back then, it had just been a couple of months—a summer, really.

We’re completely different people at completely different places in our lives. ”

Brody stopped running, and I stopped with him. For a few moments, neither of us spoke, each of us catching our breath. Finally, I asked, “What’s wrong? Why are you stopping? Do you want to head back?”

Brody stepped back and leaned against the rail. “You remember when I was first seeing Jett, and when I was acting like an idiot, you had no problem telling me.”

Apprehension unfurled inside me. “I remember. Are you about to tell me I’m acting like an idiot?”

He smirked. “You also told me I deserved to be happy.”

“You did. You do. Ryan would have wanted that for you.”

“I know. I believe you, but now, I’m going to return the favor. You also deserve to be happy.”

“Thanks?” Did he mean I deserved to be happy with Grey? Or did he think I needed to move on to be happy? Honestly, both possibilities were terrifying.

“Do you think you could be happy with Grey if you tried again?” Brody asked, his dark eyes bored into me as if you could see inside me.

Of course, I could. Even the time Grey and I spent together over the last few days had left me happier than I’d felt in years.

The real question was, though, could Grey be happy with me?

I didn’t see how he could be, and I knew that if I let myself feel something for him, care about him, love him again, and it didn’t work out, it would break me.

After all, I’d lost Grey once before already. I knew how it felt, and I didn’t think I could survive it a second time.