Page 16 of The Scars Within (Twisted Thorn #1)

If the Grim isn’t going to blow my cover at the college, his ridiculous missions will.

He was relentless about me breaking into the conservatory the other morning.

The task couldn’t wait, he insisted. I tried to reason with him, reminding him that most cadets would be in the valley for the day, and it would look suspicious if I strolled into class late.

But, as usual, he didn’t care.

The Grim made it clear that his requests are more important than my classes. And he threatened to rat me out to the War Chief if I didn’t stop complaining. The warning cut deeper than I wanted to admit.

I dropped the box at the exact spot he demanded, then sprinted to class. Thankfully, nobody had second-guessed why I was tardy.

Despite attending every Intro to Wielding class, I still haven’t felt any magical pull toward an element. We typically have a few more classes towards the end of each week, but the college gave first-years these days off to adjust to everything we’ve experienced so far.

I’m trying not to panic.

According to history, if someone doesn’t channel an element by their twenty-first Burn Trial, they’ll remain mundane—capable only of lesser magics that support the continent’s operations.

Mundane cadets aren’t permitted to stay at Mageia; they are sent back to their previous lives before the war college.

With nothing else to return to, I have no choice but to channel an element.

When I returned to our cottage after escaping the shed, it had been burned down.

It’s Sunday evening, and the sun is about to set.

My friends and I are lounging in our dorm, having spent the weekend exploring the college and growing closer.

Despite our odd mix, I was beginning to appreciate these girls.

Laney and I made several trips to and from the library to trade in our books.

So far, I am on the third novel of this series, and I’m loving every bit of it.

I never knew that reading a fictional story could inspire me in so many ways.

“So, what work assignments did y’all get? I forgot to ask,” Laney spoke up.

“I’ll be a teacher’s assistant,” Cleo replied. “I’ve always aspired to become a professor. This seems like a good addition to my resume.”

“I’ll be giving campus tours to prospective Mageia applicants,” Tatum said.

“That suits you perfectly, TT,” Laney grinned as she picked through the trail mix Cleo swiped from the cafeteria earlier today.

I playfully kicked the top bunk where Laney lounged. “I’ll be manning the espresso station in the mornings. I used to be a barista back home.”

Laney tilted her head over the edge to peer down at me. “Coffee! I love coffee!”

We all chuckled. “Of course you do!” I teased back.

Cleo playfully tossed her pillow at Laney, and Tatum erupted into belly laughs. Once our giggles subsided, Cleo shifted the conversation. “ Wait, I saw Rhodes working the espresso station the other morning. Or was I seeing things?”

I cleared my throat. “Nope. Not seeing things. The station was his work assignment last year, so he is now my mentor until I can run it solo for my shifts.”

Tatum chimed in, “Oh. I feel sorry for you, girl.”

I flipped my middle finger at Tatum in response, sticking out my tongue and letting out an exaggerated ugh.

“Hey, what do you all think of our team leaders?” Cleo asked as she picked through her trail mix.

“The Wylder twins? I don’t know much about them,” Tatum admitted.

Laney chimed in, “I’ve always known them. They’re from a village near mine. My parents know theirs. We used to play together as kids, but as we got older, they stopped coming around when their parents came for the trade market.”

“Shayde is cuuuuuuute, ” Cleo teased with a whistle. “I wouldn’t mind being his date to the ball.”

My curiosity got the best of me, “What ball?”

“The All Hallows Eve Ball! It’s like the only fun event for cadets held during the school year,” she said with a mouth full of trail mix.

“Cleo! Do you have a crush on our team leader?!” Laney gasped dramatically.

“No! Just saying. It’s a bonus when the leaders we have to listen to are easy on the eyes. And Rhodes has that mysterious, steamy vibe,” Cleo defended herself.

“The Wylder twins couldn’t be more different. The only thing they share is being fire wielders—and having dragons!” Laney added.

“Yeah, what’s Rhodes’s story?” I asked curiously.

Laney began to respond when a hurried knock interrupted us at the door.

“There’s my girl!”

I sprang up from my bed and rushed into Aunt Cora’s embrace. She hugged me tightly, squeezing the words out of me. I was embraced by her lavender and pine scent.

“Aunt Cora, I can’t breathe,” I managed to choke out.

She released me and held me at arm’s length, scrutinizing me from head to toe. It has been so many years since I last saw her, but she looks almost unchanged, except for the gray strands blending into her long black hair. Taller than me, with a pear-shaped figure and a strong jawline.

“How are you settling in? Do you need anything sent up?” she asked with concern.

“No, I’m fine,” I grinned.

“Always so stubborn,” she chuckled, wagging a finger at my face, glancing at my quad in the room. “Fine. But let me tell you how to get to the faculty wing.”

“Miss Cora, cadets aren’t allowed in that wing. Only immediate family,” someone interjected.

Cora grabbed my face in her hands and brought her forehead to mine. “This college has kept us apart long enough. I don’t care about their rules. You need to know where to find me if you ever need me.”

Cora stayed in our dorm chatting all night until she insisted that we get some rest. All the girls loved her, and you could tell she already loved them, too.

I didn’t participate much in the conversation.

Instead, I sat on the bed with my arms crossed around my legs, watching the one I love the most connect with my newest friends.

A warm feeling filled my chest, something I’d never felt before.

It was happiness and sadness at the same time, tied together with a sense of relief.

It is exhausting to always have to take care of myself—mentally and physically- and never be able to take a break because the slightest drop of my guard could lead me to Rock Bottom all over again.

I wanted to soak this moment in. Seeing how easily Cora connected with my friends made me happy. But the worry of this never happening again made me sad. Living a life like I have, I always have to be on alert. The smallest mistake could cost me everything I have.

My friends all have families back home. To them, I may just be a roommate. If they needed or wanted to, I’m sure they’d be able to erase me from their memories with a snap of their fingers. They have so much more love and stability to lean on when they need it.

But me… I’m afraid to let anyone close enough to my heart to feel like family. I’m so scared to let these girls in because the second we have our first argument, I know that they will abandon me, too.

Just like my father did.

He is one of the two people supposed to love me more than anything in the world. And he left without a drop of guilt. Without visiting, even on my birthday.

Once I got my acceptance letter for Mageia, I stopped feeling as worthless as he proved me to be. I knew this would be my second chance to start over and become someone worthy.

But I know this fear of letting someone close to my heart will never go away. These girls will advance in this war college, and we will all go our separate ways. I will play a small part in their stories.

While my heart will never let them go.