Page 40 of The Rules of Matrimony (The Matchmaking Mamas #4)

Ian cared for her. Amie had sensed it, hoped for it, but still could not believe it. She had seen the sincerity in his eyes as he’d proclaimed her beautiful and confessed to being taken with her from the start. How was that possible after the mint leaves, her wild unkempt hair, and the fact that her own mother had created an engagement between them?

A small laugh escaped, and she quickly covered her mouth with her hand.

“What’s so amusing?” Ian asked from his position opposite her in the carriage. They were on their way to his parents’ townhome. Tomorrow was the day his committee would present their proposal to change the criminal law to the House of Commons. As soon as they’d sent over the cases they’d compiled, Ian desired to check on his family. There would be another committee meeting by the day’s end, but he had to reassure himself of their welfare first.

He was a good man.

Good enough that she had no reason to lie to him about why she had been laughing. “I was thinking of yesterday.” The mere mention of it seemed to send a current of energy between them.

He rubbed his cleft chin as if honestly trying to recall what exciting thing had happened only a dozen hours ago. “Oh, when I admitted to being afraid you’d kick me in the face again?”

He was a good man, but his sense of humor still needed some work. “No, I did not find that part at all amusing.”

He grinned, and she stared at it a mite longer than necessary before finishing her thought. “I was referring to how well your plan worked. You are an excellent rule breaker. No wonder you refer to yourself as a Rebel.”

“As long as we convinced everyone, that is all that matters. By the cheerful way your mother hummed through breakfast, I think we are safe where she is concerned.”

“Mr. Withers acted as though he needed her testimony to pursue anything.”

“A relief, indeed. If anything more comes of it, I don’t want you to be afraid to tell me. We’ll face it together.” He paused, his face taking on a serious demeanor. “I want you to know I don’t normally break my own rules.”

“Perhaps you have a talent for it that you have yet to discover.” She wondered if he took her meaning. There was no reason for them to keep staying apart from each other.

“I hope not,” he said, looking down at his hands. “I want to be a man of integrity.”

The carriage pulled to a stop, and it was hard not to show her disappointment. She could see him building up walls between them again. They had come so far. She couldn’t understand it. “I give you permission to hold my hand, then, so your integrity is not at risk. I rather liked the look on Robert’s face when he saw us come into the drawing room yesterday.”

Ian’s lips pulled up on one side. “I suppose if the situation calls for it.” He opened the door and climbed out, reaching back to help her out. “Like right now.”

She grinned and took his hand. Sadly, he released her when her feet hit solid ground. “How very brave,” she teased.

He chuckled and held his arm out to her. “It was quite the sacrifice, you understand. I think the driver saw, and I frown on public displays of affection.” His words were playful, but she could read his underlying reservation. She knew she was pushing against his carefully made boundaries, but how else could she break them down?

Taking his strong, steady arm, she said, “You would think the leader of the Rebels would embrace such an opportunity to flout Society’s social etiquette to everyone. Even carriage drivers.”

Ian led her up the short path, and together they climbed the two steps to the door. He turned to her on the small porch, his gaze like velvet on her skin. “This particular Rebel is struggling at the moment, so please don’t tempt me, Amie.”

The blanket of clouds was too thick to blame the sun for the flush of heat on her face. She wanted to tempt him. She wanted a real marriage with love and laughter and children. But even more so, she wanted to know why he put up his walls. She wanted him to heal.

“Especially not in my father’s house,” he added quickly. “I’m trying to go easy on him for the sake of his health.”

She could understand his reservation around his father. He seemed to be the key to Ian’s reluctance. If she told Lord Kellen why Ian hated him, she doubted it would truly win his approval of their marriage. But she did wonder if it would be a catalyst of change for the two of them. Someone needed to soften. There were too many years of resentment for it to happen naturally. The logical solution was for her to create an opportunity for them to discuss the hurt that had caused a wedge in first place.

Ian had asked her not to speak to his father alone again, but she wasn’t worried about what harm she would receive. With Lord Kellen bedridden, words were his only weapon. Her increased confidence in Ian’s feelings would protect her from whatever unkindness his father threw at her. As for worsening the situation, the two were at such odds already that there was little chance of that. She was so filled with hope after yesterday that she couldn’t dismiss the idea of helping Ian. He deserved to be as happy as he made her feel.

Ian knocked twice and held the door open for her until a footman rushed to take his place. “What does that look mean?” Ian asked.

“What look?” Amie tried to smooth her expression.

He stopped her in the middle of the entrance hall and studied her. “A sort of mischievousness passed over your eyes and mouth just now.”

“Oh? What does such an expression look like?” Could he see the guilt on her face now?

He pointed to his own features. “Your eyes were happy and your mouth serious.”

She tried to laugh it off. “Is that even possible?”

He eyed her again, his head tilted. “It does sound strange saying it aloud. I must have imagined it.”

If he discovered her thoughts, she would fail before an opportunity even arose to speak to his father. It could take days or even weeks before the others were detained. It would have to be a long enough distraction for her to sneak into Lord Kellen’s bedchamber and remove herself before she was discovered. The less Ian knew, the better.

Why did that sound like something one of Ian’s fabled Matchmaking Mamas would scheme up? Love certainly gave one foolish ideas.

Lady Kellen came around the corner, carrying a few books in her hands. “I thought I heard your voices. Your timing is excellent. Ian, a man just arrived to see you—Sir James Mackintosh. I put him in your father’s study.”

“Sir James is here?” Ian’s hand went to his hip. “I wonder that he did not come to see me at my home instead?”

Lady Kellen shrugged. “He said he came straight from there and found you gone.”

“His horse beat our carriage.”

“Do you mind if I slip out for a minute while you meet with him?” Lady Kellen asked. “I haven’t left this house in weeks. Louisa Sheldon is approaching her time of confinement, and I want to make certain she is not in need of anything.”

“That is your friend Paul’s wife?” Amie asked. She remembered seeing her protruding stomach at the wedding.

Ian nodded.

Lady Kellen shifted the books to the crook of her arm. “Louisa is quite without a mother to help her. Mrs. Sheldon, Paul’s mother, wrote a list of needs she hopes I might assist with. She dearly wants to be here but won’t be able to come until after the baby is born.”

“Do not worry about us,” Amie said. “I am happy to help however I can.”

Lady Kellen held the books out to her. “I merely require someone to be available if my husband has any dire needs, which I do not anticipate. He appeared much stronger this morning. The maid will find you if there is any concern at all.”

“I can manage such a task,” Amie said. This was the moment she had wished for.

“Thank you, dear. Would you take these up to Lord Kellen’s room? He finished Robinson Crusoe and is ready for more.”

Ian set his hand on the top book in the pile. “You may leave them at his door.” The look that followed held a reminder of their earlier agreement.

She swallowed but did not nod. She didn’t want to lie to him, but neither did she want to lose such a perfectly crafted opportunity.

“You can entertain yourself in the library until I finish,” Ian said, “or until Mama returns.”

Amie smiled at them. “Don’t worry about me. Both of you go about your business, and I will tell the maid where to find me.”

Lady Kellen disappeared to fetch her spencer, and Ian ventured off toward the study. Amie hugged the books to her chest. Could she be as brave as Lord Kellen believed her to be? Ian would undoubtedly be angry with her involvement. The very thought worried her. Could she sacrifice the strides they’d made in their relationship to help him with his father? She’d never been good with knowing someone was unwell and not doing something about it. These two were unwell in their hearts, and her feet itched until she directed them up the stairs to act on her plan.

Instead of leaving the books at the door for a maid to find, she rapped her knuckles against the white-painted wood.

A muffled voice filtered through the door. “Come in.”

Amie turned the handle and let herself in. “Good morning, Lord Kellen.”

“Oh, it is you again.” His bored stare only encouraged her.

“I brought some books your wife selected.” She forced herself not to cower by the door and strode to his bedside table to set them down. “You appear more alert today. Are you feeling better?”

“You should hope I am not. I have nothing against you, truly. But I still plan to separate you from my son when I am better.”

“No hard feelings, Your Lordship.”

His brow rose, and he chuckled. “Is that so?”

She nodded and motioned to sit in the chair beside his bed. “May I?”

“By all means. I could use some entertainment, and you do say the most surprising things.”

She gingerly lowered herself into the chair, ignoring his jibe. Her nerves were stretching taunt, and she felt too much fear for annoyance to take purchase. Was she really going to break Ian’s confidence? She prayed she was doing the right thing. “The last time we spoke, you asked me why Ian hated you.”

Lord Kellen’s amused demeanor fell. “I remember.”

“I have discovered the reason.”

“And?” He folded his arms across his chest, and for a moment, he looked very much like his son. Perhaps this wasn’t her best idea.

“And,” she began, her hands shaking, “he ... he resents the way you treat his mother.” She said the last part quickly, spitting the words out before they could get caught on her tongue.

“What?” Lord Kellen didn’t believe her. She could tell by his incredulous expression.

She didn’t care to go into detail, but it looked as if she would have to expound a little. “I cannot tell you much more, except that he disapproves of your mistresses.”

What little color Lord Kellen had gained in the past few days drained from his face.

Good heavens. “Lord Kellen? Are you well?”

He did not answer her, his eyes swinging blankly to the end of the bed.

She jumped to her feet and hurriedly poured him a glass of water from the pitcher by his bed. What if she caused a relapse? What had she done?

“Drink this, please.” She set it close to his mouth.

He pushed it away. “Sit down.”

His voice did not shake or sound weak. That, at least, was something.

“Are you certain you do not need a drink? Or more medicine perhaps?” Should she call for the doctor?

Lord Kellen shook his head. “Please. Sit down.”

The emphasis on the word please shocked her into listening. She sat with the glass of water still in her hand.

He stared at her for some time, but she knew not what he was searching for. Surely her revelation could not have surprised him into so much silence? Was he being racked with guilt or disappointment that his son cared so much about something he dismissed so easily?

“You must not care about my son if you eagerly betrayed him for my approval.”

Her eyes widened, and her heart dropped into a pit in her stomach. “Pardon? I did not come to get your approval.”

“Then, why did you tell me this?”

She huffed, suddenly exasperated. She had told herself that she wouldn’t react to anything he said, but this was a terrible accusation. “Because your son suffers because of your behavior, my lord. The history between you is spilling over into other areas in his life.”

“Perhaps the reason he was so against marriage?” he supplied.

She shifted to the edge of her seat. “Can you not tie the two together?”

“You did not come for my approval after all?”

She shook her head. “I know you will never give it. The only approval I seek is from God and my husband.”

“Is that so? Ian will not take lightly to you speaking to me about this.”

She dropped her gaze to her lap, pretending to study the tiny floral pattern of her skirts. “No, he will not. But if there is any way for the two of you to reconcile, I beg you to contemplate the matter.”

Lord Kellen guffawed. “He will always see me how he wants to. He’s been that way since he was a boy.”

“You’re wrong,” she said, surprised at her own tenacity. “He is more open-minded than you might think. Oh, he is stubborn enough, but he is also compassionate. I cannot ask you to change your own habits, but I can ask you to consider the feelings of your wife and son.” She ducked her head. “Forgive my impertinence. I must take my leave.”

She shouldn’t have come. Nothing she’d said had changed anything. She’d given stress to a sick man and betrayed Ian in the process. Regret lanced through her chest as she pushed to her feet.

She set the glass down and hurried to the door. Before she quite reached it, it swung open. Ian stood on the other side, his brows knitted together. “Why are you in here, Amie?”

She swallowed. “I was just leaving.” She needed him to move his large form out of the way so she could run past him and flee the problems of her own making.

“What did you say to upset her, Father?” Ian glared at Lord Kellen, eyes filling with fire.

“I suppose I did upset her in the end, which is a shame, because I was just starting to like her.”

Amie froze and turned her head to see if the man was as deranged as she thought.

Lord Kellen appeared perfectly sincere. “You have mettle, a quality I cannot disparage.”

Ian reached for Amie’s arm. “You don’t get to care for her,” he said. “Just stay away from her.” He pulled Amie through the door, but before he could shut it behind them, his father spoke.

“We need to talk, Ian. Come see me this afternoon. It’s about an important matter you cannot dismiss.”

Ian didn’t answer but shut the door, his chest heaving. He blinked a few times and looked at her. “To the library.”

She gave a reluctant nod. It seemed they were going to have their own talk first. The library was the best location. There was a rather large Bible in there. It seemed almost sacrilegious to argue in front of sacred texts. Perhaps she would remind Ian of its presence before she told him any details about his father.

Dread kept pace with her all the way down the stairs. She had to confess what she’d done and beg for his forgiveness. Or maybe this was the opportune time to plead insanity. With her thoughts bouncing wildly in her head and Lord Kellen’s strange declaration that he liked her, she was feeling quite mad indeed. Maybe Cousin Robert was on to something.