Page 15 of The Rules of Matrimony (The Matchmaking Mamas #4)

Amie did not consider herself to have a picky palate, but no matter how she tried, she could not bring herself to eat more than a single bite of squirrel. It was ... disgusting. She poked at the white meat on her plate, and when Ian bent to take a bite of his own dinner, she lifted a bare fork to her lips and pretended to chew. “Delicious, Ian.”

He looked up at her. “I’m glad you enjoy it.”

She couldn’t even force a smile. The nutty taste of her first bite still tempted her to gag.

Instead, she nodded.

Vigorously.

They had had such strained interactions all week, and today was the first sign that Ian was no longer angry with her. He had followed her all morning, after all. She did not know whether his hunting had had any part of it, but she did know that she had caught sight of him several times while meeting with the neighbors. His large body wasn’t terribly capable of masking his heavy footfalls either. Then Edna had told her that the gamekeeper had delivered squirrel for dinner but had stayed a half hour to complain about how his lordship had been so insistent that the gamekeeper had lost half a day’s work chasing down the little varmint.

Amie wanted to smile thinking about it. Had Ian gone to such efforts because she had said she expected him to catch one? How strange and amusing. She wanted to encourage this camaraderie, whatever his motivations. It had seemed foolish to ever hope for love after their wedding. But friendship? Surely they could find some semblance of it. And there were the flowers too. Edna had said Ian had insisted Amie have fresh wildflowers brought to her room regularly and that he had prepared the first bouquet himself. His thoughtfulness had touched her. Could they not find some way to get to know each other better?

“Amie,” Ian said.

She stopped her fake chewing. “Yes?”

“I’m leaving for London tomorrow.”

Her fork dropped, clanging against her plate. Leave? Now? Had he not promised another week with her? She fought down her surprise and tempered her voice. “So soon?”

He frowned. “I promised you independence, and I see no reason to prolong my stay. There will be a carriage here at your disposal for any trips you should take to the shops in town or to visit friends. You have already done an admirable job at acquainting yourself with the house and the neighborhood. I hope you will be comfortable here.”

Is that why he had followed her? Not because of any curiosity on his part or desire to know her better but because he’d wanted to see if she was capable of being left behind?

“Yes,” she said quickly. “I want my independence.” Her dream now felt like a lie on her lips. She felt compelled to say something more, even if she could not admit the truth to her changeable heart. “Please, don’t rush out the door on my account. This is your home too. I can distract myself whether you are here or not. I hardly notice your presence.” Another lie. It tasted worse than the squirrel. Of course she noticed Ian in the house. She sensed his movements almost before she heard him. It had been the same today on her walk.

She might be married to him, but admitting her strange feelings was unfathomable. Not after how he’d reacted to her kiss. She knew the difference between blind faith and sheer stupidity, and hoping for Ian to see her as anything more than a wife of convenience was clearly the latter.

Let him leave her. Then she might finally rid her thoughts of him.

Ian played with the stem of his glass, as he often did. “Is there anything I can do for you before I leave? I want to see that you’re comfortable while I am away.”

What did she need? She had more than she had ever had in her life. Finally, she thought of something. “Would you be willing to make travel arrangements for my mother? I do not know where to start.”

“I would be happy to do so. How soon would you like her to come?”

“Perhaps in a month? I thought to fix up the bedroom next to mine, if you agree to it. The paint is chipping, and there is a tear in the drapes.”

He pressed his lips together, humming his agreement. “I have left you a sizable allowance and credit at all the stores in town. You may make whatever changes you desire. The mercantile can help you order anything you cannot find readily stocked.”

She had seen the piles of letters sent out for the mail. When had he had the time to do this for her? “Thank you. You are most generous.”

“If you need more, you need only to write to me.”

They ate quietly for another few minutes. She did not even pretend to touch the squirrel again. She had lost all motivation to please him, even if he had left her a never-ending allowance. He was leaving anyway. It seemed even a friendship would be too much to ask for.

After dinner she said a polite good night and wandered back to her bedchamber, her steps dragging. She did not know if she would see Ian in the morning. He often kept his distance until dinnertime. She shut herself into her room and shivered. Was it her mood, or was it colder than normal? Setting her evening gloves on her bedside table, she rubbed her bare hands along the gooseflesh on her arms before reaching for the bell pull to call for her maid. A howl sounded from the direction of her window, and she startled.

Crossing the room, she realized the glass had been left open. She peered out into the night, the trees swaying angrily.

“No, no, no.” It couldn’t be a storm. She had not seen any sign of the change in weather that morning on her walk. After she pulled the glass shut tightly, she backed away from it and shivered again. Surely it would blow over. There was nothing to worry about.

Her chest tightened.

It was just a little wind.

Just wind.