Page 44 of The Rowdy Ones

“I’m being smart there, too. I haven’t gotten high if that’s what you’re worried about.”

He lets out a rush of air. “Thank fuck. I already let your dad down once. I can’t do that shit again.”

It sucks that so many people blame my fuckup on themselves. Uncle Atticus thinks he should have done a better job keeping an eye on me and maybe I wouldn’t have started shooting up in the first place. My parents think it’s all their fault for letting me go when I clearly wasn’t ready to fly the roost.

The waitress brings us our food and I inhale mine. Their waffles seem to be a cure for hangovers too at least. I’m just polishing off the rest of my sausage when I hear a familiar voice.

“Uncle Atticus? Hey, man, what’s up? Long time no see.”

I freeze, unable to chew the remaining food in my mouth. My entire body turns to ice and dread consumes me. Why did I think I could willingly invite this back into my life yesterday? Am I insane? I can barely sit here in his presence, breathing the same air as him, without feeling like my world is going to smash me to the fucking floor.

“Evan,” Uncle Atticus says, fondness in his tone. “Haven’t seen you since your dad’s birthday this past summer. How’s sobriety treating you?”

I can feel Evan’s gaze burning a hot hole through my forehead. In my peripheral, I see another person standing beside him. If I had to bet money, I’d say it’s his new boyfriend.

Does he treat him well like Evan did in the beginning?

Or does he rape him when he least expects it?

Nausea has my mouth watering and the food souring in my stomach. I don’t want to be here anymore. I want to leave.

“Mind if we sit and visit for a bit?” Evan asks. “This is my boyfriend, Alex.”

“Have a seat, bud,” Uncle Atticus says, shaking Alex’s hand. “Good to meet you.”

Evan slides into the booth beside me and I stiffen, refusing to look at him. His thigh presses against mine and it warms the bitter cold inside me.

Kind of like when the golden bliss slid through your veins…

Evan was every bit as addictive as the drugs.

I cut my gaze over to Alex, who’s now sitting beside Uncle Atticus. He’s younger than me, maybe closer to Wild’s age, and has an innocence about him that makes my chest ache. Dark blond hair, blue eyes, physically fit. Evan sure has a type.

“I know my nephew is a loser who can’t keep a job,” Uncle Atticus teases, gesturing at Evan, “but why aren’t you at work somewhere on a Monday morning? Still in college?”

Alex smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “I’m a physical trainer at Blue Ridge Fitness. Off on Sundays and Mondays.”

I search this young man’s eyes to see if there’s an inkling of abuse. Because, at the end of the day, that’s what Evan did to me. He used and abused me.

When he was spaced out on drugs.

Does that mean he’s better now since he said he’s sober?

Being trapped in this booth with him makes my skin crawl. I don’t care what he’s up to or with whom. I’m an idiot for almost willingly putting myself in his orbit again.

“You should come work out with us some time,” Evan says, nudging me with his elbow. “I know you miss it.”

There’s a teasing undertone in his words.I know you missme.

“I don’t know,” I murmur, still unable to look at him.

“Oh, come on,” Uncle Atticus cuts in. “I know you boys got involved in the bad shit before, but this could be a healthier friendship.”

All he knows is me and Evan were roomies and friends. He only learned of the drug stuff when I overdosed and nearly died. My parents took me back home and that was the last of it. I only ever spoke of the truth to Ryder and, more recently, Wild. Destiny overheard most of it too. If Uncle Atticus knew the horrible things Evan made me do, I doubt he’d be encouraging me to work out with him.

“Alex keeps me on the right track,” Evan says and reaches across the table toward him. “No junk food allowed in the apartment. All we drink is fucking water. Running every morning and weight training each afternoon.”

Uncle Atticus beams with pride. Wild is going to shit bricks when he finds out we ran into Evan. Because he knows the truth, he wants to kill his cousin.