Page 8 of The Rough Ride (Sanctuary, Inc. #3)

“ Y ou always did tell a funny story better than I could.” Liz wiped the tears from her eyes and grinned at Nick. How long had it been since she’d laughed hard enough to have her stomach muscles ache like this?

“We’ve spent the better part of this meal smiling, babe. I needed this.” Nick forked a chunk of dark chocolate cake and offered it to her.

She shook her head. “I’m full, cake’s yours. And you’re right. Tonight’s been really special.” She leaned back so the waitress could refill her coffee cup.

He stared at the fork and put it down. “I’ve missed our easy talks, the humor—us.”

“Yup. Like old times, Flannery.” Liz smiled wistfully into her cup. Her insides throbbed from resisting the urge to touch him. If only tonight was her new normal.

“Remember those two weeks before you were injured in Iraq? We had ourselves a real good time.” He winked at her and gently placed his hand over hers, caressing her wrist with his thumb .

Her cheeks warmed and her wrist tingled with his every stroke. “Yeah, I was so happy to be on the same base as you. The first time in eight years.”

Nick chuckled. “A two-way street there, honey. I couldn’t keep my hands off you and to hell with the consequences. Linen closets, empty bunks and offices, the tower stairwell, that cubby thing in the mess hall.”

“We were pretty shameless,” Liz whispered as the memories flooded back and reminded her of everything she’d been missing. She shook her head and sat up straight before a blanket of sadness for what was ruined the moment.

“You are the sexiest woman alive. Knowing what was underneath that prim uniformed exterior set me on fire.” His tugged her hand closer and kissed a knuckle.

How could she love him so much and have drifted this far away?

“I wanted to rip the fatigues off your body and kiss you senseless, starting with your tats,” she murmured as she fanned herself with a menu.

The diner was stifling hot or was it the conversation?

I’m just one inch away from vaulting across this table into your arms, Nick.

He raised an eyebrow. “Remember that breakfast when you told me you weren’t wearing a stitch of anything under your uniform?”

She groaned and her insides melted with desire. “You gave me those looks all day, but we couldn’t get together until late evening. It was so hard to work. Felt like I’d implode.” Kind of like now.

Nick barked a laugh and wagged a finger. “Any woman naughty enough to go commando in a war zone deserves to burn for a while. And if I remember correctly, you did implode several times. ”

Liz kicked him under the table. “Stop it. You’re the one who collapsed on top of me that night and said if we were attacked right then, you’d die happy.”

He leaned over the table and planted a kiss on her lips. “You’re blushing. I’ve always loved that you do that when the conversation gets sexy.”

The reminiscing left her with an uncomfortable ache between her legs and a wistful melancholy draped across her heart. “Always the best of friends, Nick. In every way.”

“Remember how we promised that we’d give ourselves a real run at a life together once we were honorably discharged?”

She nodded mutely. Where was he going with this?

He cleared his throat. “Are you involved with anyone?”

Whoa. “What? As in romantically? No.”

Nick nodded and cocked his head. “There’s this distance between us these days. We live less than twenty miles apart, and yet, we’ve seen each other only four times since I got back.”

Liz swallowed hard. “I’ve had a lot to deal with, Flannery. First rehab, and then the new job.” Not to mention a new baby.

He held his hands up. “Hey, your health is first. I get that. I wouldn’t want it any other way, Lizzie. But I can’t help feeling like there’s something you’re not telling me. I can’t put my finger on it.”

“Well, you know, starting a new career and life as a civilian is a challenge.” What the hell was she doing? As if he didn’t know what the challenges were.

“No, this is different. For example, you left the Sanctuary mission a few weeks ago and never said goodbye. You just vanished. ”

A stab of regret hit her heart. “I’m sorry. I had to get home.” Her boobs had sprayed all over the inside of her wetsuit. It’s not like she could’ve whipped out the breast pump in front of a bunch of guys.

“I’m not trying to pry, babe, but is your mother alright?”

“Of course, Arlene’s good.” Liz squirmed a little in her seat.

“Okay, just making sure.” He took a sip of water, keeping his eyes on her face. “Do you remember when I proposed a couple years ago?”

Her pulse quickened. “Yes, of course.” She’d never forget. In front of the Eiffel Tower, on bended knee, with holiday lights twinkling in the background. A stolen weekend rendezvous when they’d both had a five-day-leave and scored cargo plane jump-seats from their opposite locations.

He stroked her ring finger gently as he spoke. “And you said not right no w because you wanted me to take some time, see if I found a woman who didn’t want kids.” He leaned back and set his palms on the table. “Well, I’m done looking around.”

“Oh?” Her stomach soured. She stared at his hand when he slid it across the table and laced his fingers with hers again.

“Look at me, Liz, please,” he said in a low voice.

Crap. Oh damn. He was going to let her down gently. Her cheeks burned hot again. He must’ve met someone. Why on earth had she ever suggested that he look around?

“Babe, I met a girl…”

She knew it. She glanced toward the entrance of the restaurant, judging how long it would take her to get out the door and bolt. She needed air. “Okay, I kind of figured you would. I don’t need to know the details, Nick.”

“You’re interrupting, babe.” His index finger guided her face back in his direction. “As I was saying, I met a girl my junior year in high school, and she is the only woman I’ve ever wanted.”

Liz shook her head. “What did you say?”

“It’s always been you. I don’t want anybody else. I don’t think about anyone else. I’ve tried it your way. They’re not you.” His fingers caressed the palm of her hand.

Wow . She inhaled a huge breath and relaxed a fraction. “I wasn’t expecting that.”

“I know we’re at an impasse about the kids thing. You want them. I don’t. But I’d be willing to consider adoption, maybe down the road. As long as the kid doesn’t have my blood. It’s a concession I’m willing to make to build a life with you. Please work with me on this, babe.”

Nick’s eyes were so sincere and his touches unbearably tender. She opened her mouth but words escaped her. It was probably just as well. Until he knew about Ella, any response would be a lie. She nodded. This was a huge step for him.

His brows furrowed. “You know why I don’t want to pass on my genes to anyone. It’s not fair to the kid. You were there that night,” he whispered hoarsely. He pulled his hand from hers and scrubbed his face.

She reached across the table, setting her hand on his forearm.

“Yes, I was. No family should end that way.” She’d stood with him as the EMTs wheeled his mother out on a gurney and the police arrested his father for homicide.

Nick had been only seventeen. “But that doesn’t mean you’ll do the same thing. ”

“To you? Of course not. I’m not worried about hurting you. You’d shoot me first.” A small smile crossed his lips. “I couldn’t forgive myself if I hurt a kid. I mean, some of that has got to be genetic. I’d rather die than pass on that monster’s DNA.”

Her sexy, battered warrior. His emotional injuries weren’t as obvious as her foot. But they were there, and like her, he’d learned to compensate and set boundaries.

“The kids in Iraq didn’t even approach me. I can’t say I blame them.”

“Nick, we didn’t want the kids in Iraq to approach us. We never knew which of them carried a grenade and would pull the pin.”

He nodded. “It didn’t stop some of my crew from giving them candy and treats. But not me.”

She traced a vein on his forearm with the pad of her finger. “That doesn’t make you a bad guy, just a prudent one.”

He reached across the table and touched her cheek. “You know, after Paris, I was willing to do anything to be with you. I tried to have the vasectomy reversed.”

Excuse. Me. What?

Her coffee lurched down the wrong pipe, and Liz choked. “No kidding,” she said when she could speak again.

“Yeah, I went back for all the tests, and they said it didn’t take. Their exact words were medically unsuccessful .” He fumbled for his wallet as the waitress placed the check on the table.

Liz dragged in a calming breath. The air was thick with the smell of grilled burgers and fresh coffee. Her ears were ringing. “You, um, didn’t think that was worth mentioning when we were together in Iraq?”

He cocked his head and gave her a puzzled look. “It’s kind of a moot point, don’t you think? It didn’t work.”

Her brain swirled with unfinished thoughts. By all that was holy, she needed to tell him about Ella. But how? She had no idea. She had to think .

Nick shoved some cash in with the bill and leaned toward her. “The days of me dropping you off at your mother’s house are limited, I hope. Soon, we’ll live under the same roof.”

The very thought sent another zing of desire between her legs. “Dream on, soldier.” She slid out of the booth and stood.

“I have my ways, Liz.” An ornery smile crept across his face as he joined her.

Oh yes, he had his ways. Slow, erotic, pleasuring ways that might be responsible for my current situation.

Was that even possible? Ways that would have her moaning in public any minute now if she gave him half a chance.

Her traitorous breasts started leaking. She crossed her arms and chuckled.

“Get over yourself, Flannery.” She swatted his hand away from her butt.

“Gotcha thinking, didn’t I?” He held the door for her as they walked outside.

“Maybe a little.” She grinned.

“You let me know when I need to report for duty, babe.” He unlocked his truck for her. “I’ll wear my flag boxers and be there ready to serve.” He laughed and shut the door.

Liz let herself in at home, leaned back against the door and closed her eyes. Oh. My. Goodness.

All this time she’d believed that Ella was another man’s child. She yanked the hair tie from her brunette ponytail and let it billow loosely around her face as she massaged her temples.

In all their years apart, she’d only stepped out once on Nick. Just one night. After a frustrated, testy phone call when he’d reminded her that women didn’t wear signs proclaiming they didn’t want kids.

She’d been so furious with herself for encouraging him to look around that she’d gone to the officer’s mess hall and whooped ass on a group of younger officers at the dartboard.

Spitting mad, she’d pictured the women Nick was dating as the bullseye on the board.

She’d annihilated all of them, and it hadn’t hurt that her fellow soldiers had celebrated every victory with a sip of tequila.

She wasn’t drunk. She’d known exactly what she was doing, and it had felt damn good to join in on the fun and comradery rather than sit in her quarters reading nerdy military material and missing Nick. Again.

And she would’ve been fine if she’d just gone back to her bunk, but she’d agreed to have coffee with the hot officer who walked her home. The minute they’d hit the shadows, she kissed him. If Nick could do it, so could she.

But every kiss, every sigh, she’d compared and pretended he was Nick. Yeah, they’d taken precautions, but she’d always figured the condom must’ve broken.

She’d awakened at dawn with a tequila headache and orders to report to a plane leaving for Iraq at 0900 hours—same base as Nick. She never gave the officer another thought until she woke in Germany after the minefield. A noise from the kitchen roused her from her thoughts.

“Oh, there you are,” Arlene mused. “I thought I heard you come in a few minutes ago. You missed Ella’s feeding. I used the milk you brought home from work.”

A fresh wave of guilt washed over her. “Mom, I owe you a cruise to the Greek Islands. I’m so sorry I dumped Ella on you like that. It’ll never happen again. Please forgive me. ”

Arlene cocked a hip and raised one eyebrow. “Did you tell him about our girl, honey?”

“No, but I found out Nick tried to have the vasectomy reversed after Paris, Mom.”

The silence said it all. You could’ve heard a pin drop.