Page 24 of The Rose and the Hound (Ashes and Roses #2)

Work was no longer fun. Sarah made jokes and Jason Barr spoke kindly to me, but I just wanted to do my job and leave. I was never going to be friends with people, no matter how many mantras I chanted. I should move to a desert island.

When I got home, I sat and read Anne of Green Gables, the last gift my grandmother ever sent me. It was a comfort read for me. It filled me with memories of the first time I read it. I loved Anne. She was brave and loyal, and Gilbert and Diana Barry loved her.

The knock at the door startled me. Was it Mr. Edison with news on Paul? I wasn’t ready to face him, but I really did want to push ahead with the DNA test. Maybe finally knowing my paternity would help me move past this feeling of hopelessness.

“Mom!” Why was my mother at my door? And who were these two people. A woman and man stood next to her. They were in paramedic outfits, but they were slightly different to the usual uniforms. Another man stood at the back. A police officer.

“Rose, you need to come with us to hospital. Dr. Warren would like to talk to you,” Mom said, a serious expression on her face.

“No. I’m seeing Dr. Warren next week,” I replied, confused at why after so long my mother was here. Cutting ties with her had felt so freeing. I didn’t want her back in my life now that, despite my heartbreak, I was doing so well.

“It’s okay, Rose. We are going to drive you,” the woman next to her said. “My name is Lisa and this is Emmanuel.” The man next to her smiled. I knew that smile. It was a “stay calm, you’re going to be just fine” smile. The nurses gave it to me all the time in hospital.

I should go with them. I know I should. This was not good. They were here to take me away, again. And I had done nothing wrong! Did Mr. Edison report me for stalking?

“No. I’m fine, and I’ll see Dr. Warren soon.” My voice was shaky, and my heart was pounding.

“Rose, you need to come with us. We’d really like you to follow us down to the car but if you don’t, Jackson will have to help you. We don’t want to do that because we want to help you. We don’t want you to be scared,” Emmanuel reasoned. The cop behind him, Jackson I assume, nodded encouragingly.

I was being arrested. Or involuntarily committed. Same same.

“Okay. Can I please pack some things? Will I be gone for a while?” What had I done?

I had to explain myself. Mr. Edison had encouraged me.

He wanted me. But I couldn’t say any of that.

This was my story when I was arrested for stalking Blake, so it would look like I had just done the same thing to another “victim.”

Lisa nodded but stepped into my apartment. “I’ll help you, Rose.” That was code for “I’m sticking right next to you to make sure you don’t grab a weapon, like a chain or something.”

I packed some clothes, including the dress Kalb gave me.

I shouldn’t want it near me, but it was special to me, and I needed him close.

I also packed Anne of Green Gables. I rummaged through my drawer to find my special panties, but they were gone.

I hadn’t worn them since the night Kalb came over, but I remember washing them and putting them away very clearly.

“Come on, Rose,” Lisa said gently. “It’s time to go.” Where were my panties?

“No, I need something. I can’t find it.” I was beginning to panic. I needed those panties. They were mine!

Emmanuel appeared beside me and gently took my arm.

“Let’s go, Rose. Come on,” he encouraged.

Reluctantly, I went with them, joining my mother at the door.

She looked disappointed and angry now, her casual, nonchalant expression melting into one of fury and disgust. No way would I resist them.

When I was arrested for attacking Dr. Conti, I resisted.

It wasn’t pleasant and didn’t help me when it came to my evaluation.

No, I wouldn’t do that. I’d go peacefully and show them that I was well.

___________________

I was back in hospital. The day after I was admitted, Dr. Warren took me into a little room.

It was called The Serenity Room. There were peaceful touches everywhere.

I used to love this room, but now it made me angry.

The miniature water fountain and muted pastels everywhere screamed “Let’s calm down the psycho.

” I found the stupid motivational artwork patronizing and the mindfulness props condescending.

If I rake some sand with the mini rake, I’ll be cured. Yeah, right.

“Rose, are you feeling well? Are you angry with Dr. Conti or Blake?” Dr. Warren asked. They’d already asked me this yesterday. Was I angry, did I want to hurt myself or others, was I hearing secret messages. No, no, and no.

“I’m not angry and I feel well. I think this is all a misunderstanding. I had a relationship with Ace, but I think he misunderstood.” I wasn’t coming back here for something Ace had participated in.

“Ace? Is that the private investigator? Did you leave gifts for Ace, Rose?”

“No, we exchanged gifts. That’s all. He indicated he wasn’t interested anymore, and I accepted that.” I didn’t tell her I’d brought his notes and dress with me.

“Rose, you broke the terms of your release. Both Dr. Conti and Blake have reported contact from you, and I think it’s important that we be honest with each other. Which means you have to be honest with yourself.”

What? I hadn’t contacted Blake or Dr. Conti. I didn’t even know where Blake lived, or his new phone number.

“I am being honest. I didn’t contact either of them,” I insisted.

Dr. Warren sighed sadly. “Rose, I think it’s best you stay here for a while.

I’m going to review your medication, and it will give me a chance to assess you properly.

We all want you to be well again, but we also need to consider your bond.

If you refuse to stay, you’ll be sent to a .

.. a stricter institution." Prison. She meant prison. I’d stay here.

“Your mother is concerned, and she is still your next of kin. She supports you receiving more treatment.”

I nodded. I hadn’t wanted to keep my mother listed as my next of kin but I literally had nobody else and having an emergency contact was a condition of my release.

I should just stop thinking. I should just stop hoping.

If I had contacted Blake or Dr. Conti, that meant I had blocked it out, that I was completely delusional.

But where would I have put the panties, and why?

I kept the dress. If crazy me was clearing Kalb out of her life, she’d have tossed everything. Where were my panties?