Page 9 of The Roommate Game
He wrinkled his nose in what I took as a contrite expression. “Don’t worry. I got it. But…coffee first.”
I crossed my arms and gritted my teeth. “No.”
Gus tossed a bleary-eyed glance my way as he opened the cupboard and reached for a mug. “Huh?”
I snatched the mug from his hand and held it behind my back. “You can’t have coffee until you clean the kitchen.”
“Huh?” he repeated.
“You heard me. No cleany, no coffee,” I singsonged.
Gus snickered, leaning against the counter and immediately knocking over an empty bag of chips. “You’re funny, Rafe-man. I respect your angst, and I understand where you’re coming from ’cause wow…this house is a fucking hazard zone. But I’m gonna handle it. You know I will, and I’m gonna do you an extra solid and spring for dinner tonight. My treat…anything you want.”
“I don’t need you to buy me dinner. I need to not wake up to Armageddon.”
“What does that mean?”
“I don’t know!” I snapped angrily, wagging my forefinger at the six foot-three beast. “This is…unsanitary! And I swear to God, if I find a used condom in the sofa cushions again, I’m going to lose my ever-loving shit.”
He nodded, his eyes slightly glazed as he pulled out another mug. “Dude, I gotcha. I’d be pissed too. People are fuckin’ rude. I caught some gay action happenin’ upstairs. I’m not naming names, but rimming is something you do in the privacy of your own house…and not your buddy’s bathroom.”
“Which bathroom?”
“Meh, not important. Hey, did you need a ride to the rink this morning?”
I gasped. “They had sex inmybathroom, didn’t they?”
“Rim job, baby. Hot stuff, too. They didn’t even fuckin’ close the door,” Gus reported with a laugh, helping himself to the coffee.
“You’re joking.”
Gus flashed one of those charming smiles that apparently made him ridiculously popular. “Nope, but it’s cool. I stopped them before they got to the grand finale. I think.”
“You think?”
“It’s a little foggy,” he admitted with a shrug.
I stared incredulously and for some reason, he smiled.
His eyes crinkled at the corners and his dimple creased his left cheek. Damn it, he was handsome and built like a Mack truck, but my God…I was going to take him down.
I wasn’t sure how, though.
I pinched the bridge of my nose and considered my options.
There was no way to out-gross Gus. None of the things that bothered me would rate as mildly annoying to him. He was impervious to messes. Eating his food or hiding his things wouldn’t work either. With his seemingly never-ending supply of money, he’d buy more of whatever he wanted and still manage to raid my stash.
And he’d turn any party I had into…this.
Unless…
I threw an anti-party.
Oooh, that was a good idea.
I pursed my lips to hide the monster smile tugging the corners of my mouth.
“I’m going to kindly ask that you clean this—as you correctly put it—hazard zone and—” I held a hand up before he could assure me it was cool, man. “You’re going to have to do a great job at it too, ’cause I’m not living like this. Also…I’m having a shindig here on Saturday, so don’t plan anything.”