Page 51 of The Rogue’s Runaway Bride (Rogue of Her Own #3)

T hree days had passed since Mrs. Johnstone had arrived at his home, intent on assisting Belle with the logistics of her return to New York.

In that time, Jon had gone about his duties as if each hour that passed by was no different than any other in his life.

And not one moment closer to the time when Belle would board a train to Southampton, and then, the steamer for the transatlantic crossing which would take her home.

The very thought of Belle being an ocean away robbed him of his ability to concentrate. Stripped away his ability to focus on something—anything—besides what he might well be losing. Even sleep provided no respite, not with the agitated dreams which tore him from his rest.

He had no real cause to feel as he did. Or so the logical voice in his thoughts tried to convince his heart. It wasn’t as if Belle was leaving him forever. She would wait for him in America. Those words had come from her own lips. This was not a parting intended to last for the rest of their days.

This time, he would come to her. But despite his rational reasoning, his gut instinct argued that he was wrong.

A frost had formed between them. He saw it clearly when he looked into Belle’s eyes.

When he did join her, would the spark still flare between them?

Or would the ice have become impenetrable?

I should have learned my lesson in New York.

Her words had struck him harder than the blows the ox-of-a-man Roderick had hammered into him. Bloody hell. He’d let her down. And he’d hurt her. Again.

But still, he went about his routine. At his office, he conducted business as usual. But when he returned home at the end of each day, the truth slugged him like a dirty punch to the gut.

Belle had accepted Ellie’s offer to reside in her flat until she was set to leave for the dock at Southampton.

There, she spent her days preparing for the voyage and devoting precious hours to visiting with Carrie at his sister’s home.

They’d all agreed it would be best for the girl to come to know her soon-to-be adoptive parents and grow comfortable with the house which would be her new home. After all, that had been the plan.

This had been what he’d wanted all along. Wasn’t it?

Now, the place was so blasted quiet. The genial chaos that had greeted him for weeks had suddenly disappeared. Even Heathy had returned home with Logan after the Scot came to the realization that he actually missed the ball of fur on legs , as he’d put it.

And just like that, his home was peaceful again.

And orderly. So bloody orderly . Even though the place was as it had been before Carrie and Belle had walked through its door, the house now seemed like a well-appointed tomb.

It was all so very different now. In forty-eight hours, everything had reverted back to normal.

And he bloody well hated it.

At times, moving through the day, and especially at night, he felt as if he were in a fog. But he couldn’t show it. Didn’t dare admit to it. He was only doing what he had to do. Any man with a company to run and responsibilities would do the same. Wouldn’t he?

It wasn’t as if he hadn’t seen Belle. They’d even had dinner, a rather civilized and proper gathering at the Rogue’s Café with Macie and Finn on the very night he’d planned to ask her to marry him.

He’d envisioned his grandmother’s ring on her finger.

But this didn’t seem the time. God knew he didn’t want to make the process of leaving to return to her own grandmother any harder than it already was.

Something had shifted between them. A veil of tension had drifted between them.

And he didn’t know if he could ever repair the damage he’d done.

And now, sitting in his office, he leaned back in his chair. Catching his reflection in the plate-glass window, he looked every bit the part of the proper, successful man of industry.

Man of industry. Since he’d been a lad diligently applying himself to the dry curriculum deemed necessary for his success in the world, his father had applied the term to him. For so many years, he’d promoted the image of the man he expected his son to be.

Jon, you are my heir. Someday, this will all be yours.

His father’s voice played in his thoughts. He’d wanted the best for him. In his heart, Jon knew that truth. But had his reluctance to question the path set before him when he was still a boy been a mistake?

“Well, Jon, why am I not surprised to find you here?” His sister’s sharply enunciated question startled him so, he nearly tumbled backwards out of his seat.

He turned to her, affecting a bored expression. “Might I ask who let you in?”

“Will you be upset with them?”

“That goes without saying,” he said.

“In that case, I shall not betray their trust.”

“I’ve no doubt it was Bennett. You’ve always been able to twist the man around your little finger.”

She flashed an impish grin. “I must admit, it is a talent. But that isn’t why I’m here.”

“An excellent point. So, why have you ventured away from your doting husband to pay me this unexpected visit?”

“I’ll have you know Finn is in the building.

He stopped to chat with Mr. Bennett. Besides, I wanted a moment alone with you.

” Macie took a step back, folded her arms at the waist, and sent him a glare.

“I wanted to say—and I will keep it brief—that of all the blockheaded things you’ve ever done, this mess you’ve made of things with Belle takes the cake. ”

“Blockheaded, eh?” Jon came to his feet. “I’ve always said the money Father paid for your fine education might’ve been better spent at the racetrack. Marital bliss has not tempered your colorful way with language.”

“I would tell you what you might do with your observation, Jon. But I am a lady.” A thin smile played on her mouth. “Besides, I would not take the chance that my babe might overhear something shocking before she’s even born.”

“She?” Jon cocked a brow. “Wishful thinking?”

“Intuition,” she countered. “But don’t attempt to change the subject. I am here on a mission of mercy.”

“A what ?”

Her smile widened. “Precisely what I said—a mission of mercy.”

“What in blazes are you saying?”

“You already know why I’m here, Jon. You’re my brother, and I will not bite my tongue while you make the most colossal blunder of your life.”

“Would you like to sit?” Jon motioned to a chair. “Or do you prefer to stand while you lecture me?”

“I will stand, thank you.” Macie clipped the words between her teeth, as she did when she was fit to be tied. “This is not a lecture. But you need to hear the truth.”

“She’s right,” Finn said as he marched into the room and closed the door behind him. “If ye have a brain in that thick skull of yers, ye’ll listen.”

“So far, she’s informed me that I’m a blundering blockhead. What’s next?”

“I suppose dolt will do, but I’d envisioned an even more colorful term.” A hint of a grin tugged at her mouth. But then, the smile faded, replaced by a look of concern in her eyes. Blast it, he hated it when his sister looked at him like that, with that look of what seemed almost like pity.

“What is it, then, Macie?” He leaned against his desk, stretching out his legs as he folded his arms over his chest. “Belle and I have discussed this matter, I’ll have you know. She has agreed to wait for me in New York. I shall meet her there, after this deal is done.”

Macie slowly shook her head. “It all sounds so very civilized, Jon. The way you tell it, it’s as if the two of you sat down and negotiated yet another deal.”

“What would you have me do?” He searched his sister’s face. “Shall I abandon my responsibilities in favor of...”

“Your own happiness,” Macie supplied.

He shrugged. “In a manner of speaking.”

“So, am I to understand you feel you must make sacrifices for the sake of the company?”

“Of course,” he said. “Goes without saying.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Has it occurred to you that you are making a mistake our father did not?”

“He worked tirelessly to build this company to what it is today.”

“True,” Macie said, her tone a bit hushed now. “But there is one crucial difference. Papa had our mother by his side the entire time. He would not have put anything ahead of her. Not even the all-important family business. ”

Jon let out a breath. “Might I point out that our father and mother had wed before he made his first shilling?”

“Quite so,” Macie agreed. “As Mama tells it, he stood tall against any obstacle to their love. Even when Grandfather tried to steer her toward a match he considered more suitable, Papa would not give up. And now, they have forged an unbreakable bond. Do you truly think our father would’ve given up what they have together for anything, much less a blasted contract? ”

His sister’s softly spoken words plowed into him. He turned to Finn. Surely his friend and partner would understand the decision he’d had to make.

To the contrary, Finn regarded him with a slow shake of his head.

“Tell me this, Jon. Ye faced a man who pointed a gun at ye—at yer heart—and ye did not flinch. Ye did not run. Ye thought only to protect Belle. And yet, now... now ye’re risking the happiness ye’ve found with her.

And all for the sake of a negotiation others could pull off.

” Finn’s expression spoke louder than his words. “Am I understanding this correctly?”

Jon walked over to the window and stared down at the hustle and bustle of the street below. The bleak skies and drenching rain fit his gray mood.

“Ye say the two of ye have come to an understanding,” Finn went on. “But Belle needs ye now. More than ye might know.”

“She is not one to make a scene,” Macie added.

“She knows you’re torn. I do believe Belle intends to wait for you, at least for a time.

But she’s hurting. She hasn’t spoken much about it.

.. about what has happened between the two of you.

Still, I can see it in her eyes, Jon. She’s trying to put on a brave face, but she is hurting.

And she is frightened. Someone she loves quite deeply is very ill, and she’s worried to tears she won’t make it home in time. ”

“The lass needs ye now, Jon. Not in two months. Not even in two bloody days.” Finn was blunt, as usual.

“Even if ye do actually make it to speaking yer vows, do you really want her to carry the memory of this—a time when she wanted ye by her side, and ye were not there? And all for the sake of a blasted deal.”

The unvarnished truth of Finn’s words shook him, hard as a bare-knuckled blow to the chin. Good God, Macie was right. He’d mucked it all up, hadn’t he?

Belle wanted him by her side. She needed the simple comfort of knowing she wasn’t alone, that she wouldn’t have to face this difficult time on her own.

So why in blazes was he standing here in his office when all he really wanted was to hold her in his arms and reassure her that he would always be there for her, no matter what?

He loved her. And by thunder, he would be there with her.