Page 50 of The Rogue’s Runaway Bride (Rogue of Her Own #3)

A torrent of emotions swept over Belle. This evening with Jon and his family had been a time of happiness, a time of looking to her future—a future she’d wanted with all her heart to spend with Jon. But now, the terse words on a single scrap of paper had upended everything.

At the news, Jon had taken her hands in his, comforting her with his strength.

Sensing her distress, Carrie rushed to Belle, wrapped her arms around her, and gave her a sweet hug, while the others offered words of reassurance.

Belle could only pray that Grandmama would have faith that Belle would be there as soon as the ship could carry her across the Atlantic.

As they calmly discussed Belle’s intention to return home on the first available voyage to New York, a hush fell over the room.

The joy that had filled the air not long before had evaporated, replaced with a sense of inevitability.

Soon, Belle would be an ocean away. At the moment, it felt as if she was planning to leave them all behind. Forever.

Jon had continued to comfort her in the face of the distressing news, though his demeanor had shifted.

A muscle clenched and unclenched in his jaw, even as he held her hand so tenderly.

Belle knew that expression. He was bracing himself for a loss.

She’d seen that look before—in Manhattan, before he’d left her behind.

This time, it was her turn to leave.

The thought plowed into her like a blow.

Heaven knew she didn’t want to leave him.

Didn’t want to cast aside the tenderness and passion they’d found in each other’s arms. But she had no choice.

She could not forsake her grandmother. No matter what, she would be there with the darling woman who had always loved her without condition. Surely, he could understand.

For her part, Mrs. Gilroy had grown quiet.

Was the old woman genuinely dismayed by the prospect that Belle would leave?

Saying little but giving Belle a supportive squeeze of the hand in the face of her sadness, she’d taken Carrie to her room and tucked the girl in for the night.

But the child was unsettled. Understanding more than Belle had hoped, Carrie had returned to the sitting room as they discussed Belle’s options.

Standing in the doorway, clutching her rag doll to her heart, the pout on her little face had nearly shattered Belle’s heart.

Belle went to the child, taking her back to bed and reading her a story so that she might drift off to sleep.

“You’ve been so good with her,” Macie said warmly as Belle returned. “I can see that she adores you.”

“I must say, I feel the same about her,” Belle said, gulping a breath against the scalding tears in the back of her throat. “She is a sweet and clever little girl. She will soon be a wonderful new addition to your family.”

Finn nodded. “Aye, we’ll be happy to have her with us.” He slanted Macie a glance. “Our little one will have a sister.”

Belle caught a tear before it could make it down her cheek. “And she will be a doting sister, I’m sure.”

Throughout the conversation, Jon had gone very quiet, that single telltale muscle betraying the tension coursing through his body.

“I suppose I should take Cleo home,” Macie said, readying the cloth traveling bag she’d brought for her cat. “I have missed the little dickens.”

“Cleo will be happy she no longer has to tolerate Heathy,” Jon said, sounding a bit cold.

Macie frowned at him. “My, Jon, I doubt she bothered to tolerate him. She’s quite independent, as you know.” She slanted Belle a smile. “If anything, the poor dog was likely outsmarted by my clever girl many a time.”

“I’d have to agree,” Belle said. “At least, from my observation, brief as it was.”

“Belle, I will return in the morning,” Macie said, offering the warmest of hugs and a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll help you prepare for your voyage in any way that I can. And perhaps, I will convince you to come back... just as soon as you can.”

“I do not believe I will need to be convinced,” Belle said.

“I’ll be here as well,” Mrs. Johnstone said. “I will assist in making the necessary arrangements.”

“Thank you,” Belle said as Mrs. Johnstone put aside her reserve to also offer a hug.

And then, they were gone. Mrs. Gilroy closed the door behind Mrs. Johnstone as she departed the residence. Turning to Belle, she regarded her with a careworn expression.

“I am off to rest these weary bones,” she said. “This has been quite a day.”

“Indeed,” Belle agreed. “I’ll soon be off to bed myself.”

“Sleep well,” the housekeeper said. “Ye’ve got a busy day ahead of ye.”

With that, Mrs. Gilroy headed to her room.

“She’s very fond of you,” he observed. “A rare thing, indeed.”

Taking Jon by the hand, she led him to the settee. They were alone. Finally.

“We must talk,” she said, summoning her courage to face the prospect of a truth that might well rend her heart in two.

“Indeed,” he said. “Belle, I understand you have to leave. But first, there’s something... something I must tell you.”

“I think you know how I feel... how I feel about you. But I’ve never said it.” Pulling in a deep breath, she caught his hands in hers. “I love you, Jon. Truly, I do.”

“And I love you, my beautiful Arabelle.” His eyes darkened with emotion. “More than I’ve ever loved anyone in my life.”

“I was hoping you would say that.” A flicker of hope warmed her heart. “Now, I have an idea. I suppose it is rather impetuous. Perhaps a bit unconventional. But then again, so is everything about our relationship.”

His brow furrowed. “Belle, what are you saying?”

Steeling herself, she pulled in a low breath. “I don’t want to do this alone, Jon. I don’t want to leave you.” She looked into his eyes, drawing strength from her hope for a future with the man she loved. “Come to New York with me.”

“To New York?” He raked a hand through his hair, holding her gaze. Reading his expression, she could envision how his mind was racing. “Now?”

“Yes, Jon. Now.” She reached for him, taking his right hand between her palms, feeling the warmth of his skin against hers. “Sail away with me, darling. We can start our life together there. A new beginning, filled with love.”

He went very still, not saying a word—not even making a sound for the span of several heartbeats. His jaw hardened again, that expression that told her he was bracing himself for what he had to do. For what he had to say. Again.

“Belle, you know I want to be with you.” His gaze was warm as he studied her face.

But his words bore a flinty resolve that warned he was about to break her heart.

“But you also know I am nearing the end of crucial negotiations. The investors will not wait. If I leave—much less to sail to New York and be away for God knows how long—the bargaining will end. The deal will fold. It will all be over and done.”

Negotiations. Investors. Deal.

The words seemed to reverberate in her ears.

Somehow, the way he spoke so rationally, so calmly, while she was desperate with worry over someone she loved felt like a slap to the face.

When she’d spent hours in his arms—in his bed—he’d whispered words of adoration, words of love.

He had risked his life to protect her from Gideon’s machinations.

Afterwards, he’d held her tenderly and caressed her with sweet kisses.

Why, just moments earlier, he’d told her he loved her.

But yet, in his world, none of that mattered at this moment. At least not more than his duty to his family’s company. Nothing they’d experienced these last few days outweighed his need to carve out a deal at the negotiating table and meet his responsibility to the enterprise his father had founded.

“Belle, darling, I know this is hard. But we will get through this.” He held her hands with a gentle touch. “You must understand. If I leave now, everything I’ve worked for these last months... it will all be lost.”

Lost.

Indeed. Belle gulped a breath. She steadied herself against a fresh wave of emotion. Everything has already been lost.

“I do understand, Jon.” She felt her heart beating in her chest, heard the beat of her pulse in her ears. “Believe me, I do. Better than you might think.”

“After this deal is done, I will join you in Manhattan.”

He brushed his lips over her cheek, a tender, sweet kiss. It wasn’t fair, really, how this man could move her with the simplest caress. But he held that power. At least now, she understood it was all rather fleeting.

“I will be waiting for you,” he murmured against her ear.

“Will you?” She blinked back stubborn tears.

“Of course, my sweet Arabelle.” He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her again. “Soon, this blasted deal will be settled. It won’t be long, darling.”

“But won’t there be another deal?” She studied him for a moment. “Another negotiation?”

“Of course,” he said. “That is the nature of business. You know that as well as I do.”

“I suppose I do,” she said.

He drew her closer, the heat of his lean body warming her. “I don’t like to let you down, my love.”

“If I am disappointed, that is not truly your fault, now is it?” She cocked her chin, meeting his eyes. “I suppose I should have learned my lesson in New York.”

His eyes narrowed as he studied her. “What are you saying?”

“You know full well what I mean,” she said. “I thought you had changed... I thought we had changed. But I was wrong. It’s all the same.”

“Arabelle, I love you. Surely you don’t doubt that.” His voice was low and husky with emotion.

Ah, how she wanted him. How she adored him. Heaven knew she wanted to spend her life with him. Pity destiny might well have something else in mind.

“I love you, Jon. But I’m not quite sure loving you is enough.” Squaring her shoulders, she met his eyes. “Nothing can change the bitter truth: I know where your heart lies. And it isn’t with me.”

“You know that’s not true.” He scrubbed his hand over his bristled jaw. “There’s no one else.”

She choked back tears she refused to shed. Heaven knew she’d cried enough over this man in New York. “I think this is a fine time for me to get some rest. Mrs. Johnstone will be here bright and early in the morning, and I have much to do.” She forced herself to meet his eyes. “I am going home.”

“Belle, I love you.” The rawness in his voice cut through her like a blade.

“I believe that you do love me. But I know what is in my heart.” She pinned him with her gaze. “In the morning, I will seek accommodations outside of this house. And then, I will sail to New York. I shall wait for you, for a time at least. But for now, I prefer to be on my own.”

“Darling, don’t be angry.” He followed her to the door, but she turned away from his embrace.

“I am not angry. Far from it,” she said, forcing her voice to remain steady, her tone cool.

“For now, I need to clear my head. This has all been a bit too much to bear.” She reached out to him, tracing her fingertips over the dark stubble on his jaw.

“I will wait for you in New York. You have my heart. But it’s up to you to claim it. ”

Again, he raked his long fingers through his hair. “Arabelle, I love you so bloody much.”

“I love you, too, Jon. More than you know. But for now... I need a bit of distance. Perhaps an ocean’s worth.” She turned away. “Good night, my love.”