Page 7 of The Rogue's Christmas Gift

“I want you,” she moaned as his fingers teased the sensitive flesh of her sex.

Entering her wet heat with two fingers had his body quivering in need, but he couldn’t have their first time together in years be as a rushed dalliance in her study.

Burying his head in her neck, he inhaled Kat’s sweet scent, willing his cock to go down. Unlike her, Harrison had not been with another in their time apart. There had been other opportunities, of course, but there was always something missing with another woman. Often, he’d made excuses on why he couldn’t partake. After years of avoidance, Harrison had removed himself from being in precarious situations altogether.

Removing his hands from heaven required pure force of will from Harrison. As he rose, he cursed his noble behavior, wishing like hell that he could be a libertine for once in his life. But this was Kat, the girl he’d rode with, fished with, the girl who had stolen his heart with a simple smile. She deserved more than a rushed encounter; she deserved the world.

“Harrison, what’s the matter?” she asked, sitting up and placing her hand on his thigh.

He tried to control the beating of his own heart as it tried to free itself from his chest, but it was impossible. Wrapping an arm around her, he pulled her to his side, kissing her deeply.

When he finally removed his lips from hers, they stared into each other’s eyes. “When we’re finally together again, a rushed shag in your study will not suffice.” He cupped her cheek, leaning in to press his forehead against hers. “I want to savor every inch of you and relish in the thought that you’re finally mine.”

Her body stiffened before she released a sigh of frustration. She stood, walking away from him, and the distance between them felt more like an ocean to Harrison.

“Yours?” she asked, her voice filled with challenge.

Harrison stood, realizing that they needed to have this conversation once and for all. They had been in an awkward dance of push and pull for the better part of a year. He wanting to be with her and she refusing.

Now, he was out of time and hoped that she would accept him.

Walking over to her, he wrapped his hand around her nape. “Mine, in every way possible. You know what I want, Kat and it’s not a quick tumble. I want forever with you.”

She took a step back, freeing herself from his embrace. “I wasn’t aware that fucking was equivalent to forever.” Her voice was bitter and void of emotions. “I’m not a debutante with a ruined reputation that needs to marry. You ruined me a long time ago, remember?”

The comment struck him like a violent blow to the abdomen. He was aware of the consequences of their actions when they were younger. It had changed both their lives irrevocably, but it was Kat who had lost her family and her home.

“Yes, I ruined you, but you and I both know that I had every intention of making you my wife then.” he said, trying not to let her coldness affect him. “I have every intention of making you my wife now.”

“You know my answer,” she whispered.

All air left the room as he closed the distance between them again. He pressed a desperate kiss to her lips, pouring every ounce of his being into that single kiss. “I was hoping it would change. Marry me, Kat,” he rasped out against her lips.

He sounded like a desperate lad to his own ears, but he didn’t care. All he cared about was making her his wife, once and for all. Harrison waited with bated breath, hoping that this time would be different.

Sighing, she pushed away from him, leaving his arms cold and wanting. “You know, If I were to ever marry again, it would be to you. Don’t ruin it, Harrison.”

“Marrying me won’t ruin anything.” He reached for her, running his hand through her thick curls.

They were longer now than when they were younger, framing her face to perfection as they brushed against the clavicle of her neck.

“You know it would. I’ve worked too hard since Jacques died to lose it all because of a childhood crush.” She shook her head.

This time, he allowed her to cross the room, making the hole in his wounded pride larger the further she was away from him.

A childhood crush? Was that all he was to her, a foolish boy who wanted to give up everything to be with the girl he loved? The girl he thought loved him?

Was he foolish still?

“I thought we were more than that, or have I been wrong all these years?” he asked, needing to know the truth.

Perhaps then he could move on with his meager life and existence. Then he would learn to take a breath without her.

“We were young.” She shook her head, her eyes misting with tears. “We didn’t know what love was.”

Harrison pressed his hand to his heart, not believing her words. “I knew,” he said emphatically. “I’ve loved you since I first met you. When our fathers first went into business together, I loved you. You were seven and I was eight years then.” A slow smile spread across his face. “I loved you when you gave me your innocence on Christmas. Our parents were entertaining well into the morning, and we spent the night together wrapped in your bed.” Hairston took several steps toward her, his gaze never leaving her frozen form. “I loved you when my father dragged me away to Somerset and locked me in my rooms for a month.” He came to a stop in front of her. It would be easy to pull her into his arms again, but he could not, and perhaps he never would. “And I loved you when your uncle informed me you had married barely two months after my departure from Nottingham.” He swallowed the large lump in his throat.

It had been pure torture when his father had locked him away in their new home, forbidding him to ever see her again. When Harrison was finally free, he left on horseback, rushing to her parents’ home only to find out that she had been cast out like she was nothing, all because of him.