Page 23 of The Rogue's Christmas Gift

“No, I wasn’t feeling the spirit,” he whispered, nuzzling at her ear.

She shivered, her nipples hardening, sex aching in need. After not being intimate with anyone for years, Kitty suddenly felt ravenous.

Being intimate with Jacques was a necessity after they married. He was an accomplished lover and Kitty wanted more than anything to fall in love with the man who had chosen to save her from ruin. However, his appetite would never be satisfied with just one lover for the rest of his life. Although she was young, Kitty had never been a fool. She was well aware of disease and sickness. She would not willingly risk herself or unborn child for Jacques or anyone.

“Because of me?” she asked, turning around in his arms.

Kitty was aware that her refusing his latest marriage proposal had severed them permanently.

He shook his head. “I couldn’t decorate this year. I haven’t decorated in years.” His fingers wrapped around the back of her neck.

“Why?” Kat whispered needing to hear the truth.

She had learned long ago that he hadn’t abandoned her when she needed him most. It was difficult hearing it from his mother out in the open on Bond Street.

The woman had actually boasted about how wise her husband had been to lock his son up and keep them away from each other. It had worked beautifully. Kitty, in her desperation and despair, followed the wisdom of her uncle and accepted his friend’s hand.

Jacques would receive a beautiful wife from an excellent family, one who would run his business while he gallivanted around with different women. It was an ideal arrangement for everyone, but that one decision altered Kitty’s life forever.

Green eyes darkened and his brow furrowed in thought as it did when he turned deathly serious. “Because every time I lose you, a piece of me dies and I’m unable to enjoy anything that was a part of us.” He pressed his head to her forehead, his warm breath cascading over her lips.

She allowed the tears to fall. His words penetrated a locked portion of her heart. “Harrison, you didn’t lose me. I’m right here.” The words choked out of her, her fingers caressing his cheek.

“F-for how long, Kat?” The pain in his voice broke her heart.

Did it not matter that she was there now, in his arms of her own volition?

His words splashed over Kitty like he’d thrown her into the Thames.

Kitty wasn’t purposely being cruel. She had her reasons for rejecting his proposal.

Society would never accept her—she was Madame Kitty Delcour, after all. If she married, everything that was hers would belong to him—not that she did not trust Harrison implicitly.

Kitty’s independence, her memory of Christopher, it was all she had left in the world, and she couldn’t help but to cling to it with her bare hands.

“I can’t abandon Pleasure House.” She released him, sitting up in the bed.

It didn’t matter that she was completely naked. The only thing that mattered was that she protected the people who depended on her. No matter how much it would cost her to leave him and the mirage they had created.

Harrison sat up, dragging her to him. “I would never ask you to abandon your life’s work.” His large hands cupped her face gently. “If I demanded that of you, I know which answer you would choose. I don’t want you by default. Choose me because you want to be with me as your equal in all things and you would be my equal as you have always been.”

“Harrison,” she shook her head, tears falling freely. “You don’t know me anymore. I’m no longer the girl you fell in love with.” She looked away, afraid if she stared into his eyes, she would see Christopher staring back at her. “I have secrets.”

He turned her to face him gently. The fire blazing in his eyes matching the red of his hair. “I don’t give a damn about your secrets. Give them to me and I’ll carry them as my own.” The tears in his eyes threatened to free her completely from a prison of her own making. “I love you, Kat, and I’ll love you until the day I die.” The kiss he placed on her lips was soft, and she wanted more. “Whether or not you marry me.”

Unable to speak, she kissed him again, bringing his body over hers as she settled against the elaborate array of pillows.

He loved her? Still? After all this time?

Renewed hope filled her. It was difficult for Kitty to believe that Harrison still had feelings for her after the horrid way she’d behaved.

But this was Harrison, and he’d been nothing but honest with her since the moment they’d met.

His hands roamed her body, lighting a fire everywhere his skin touched. Scraping her nails down his back, she silently urged him to take her.

Forgetting everything but that moment with him, Kitty welcomed him into the alcove of her thighs. His tongue trailing down her chest, teasing around her painfully erect nipple.

Kitty arched up, offering herself to him in the one way that she could fully be his.