Page 11 of The Road to Forever (Beaumont: Next Generation #7)

Her ring, still attached to the chain around my neck, feels heavier than it should. I yank it off and throw it across my bunk. It bounces against the wall and falls down, hopefully lost in the abyss between the mattress and the planks.

As soon as I begin thinking about the ring, what it means and how much it freaking cost me, I’m up and digging in the corner.

“Stupid,” I mutter as my fingers touch the cool metal. I pull it from the corner and stuff it into the pocket of my shorts. I hate myself for still carrying it around.

I hate that it still matters.

Dana walks past the bunks and freezes when she spots me. “You good?”

“Fine,” I snap, sharper than I mean to.

She scoffs and has every right to. “Whatever.”

Before I can second-guess it, I pull the curtain of my bunk closed and head downstairs, stomp angrily toward the open door, and step out into the humid night air. The gas station fluorescents buzz overhead, like the bulbs are filled with a million bees.

I spot Ajay, Keane, and Canson lingering outside, talking quietly. Hendrix leans against the bus, joint dangling from his lips. Justine, Wynonna, and Priscilla are inside, along with a couple of the members of Talking Til Dawn.

Hendrix smirks at me, probably knowing I won’t approach him. Nola was so against everything that I snubbed my nose when my bandmates relaxed at the end of the night. Smoking has never been one of those things I need to do every day, but tonight, it might take my mind off things.

Without hesitating, I walk toward Hendrix. He hands me his joint, and I take a hit. It’s a damn good thing weed is legal in most states because the last thing I need is Elle to be on my ass.

Hendrix watches my every move. “I’ve never seen you smoke before.”

I shrug and hand the joint back to him.

“Probably best,” he says. “Your attitude sucks.”

“You’re one to talk.”

He shrugs. “I just give Dana shit.”

“Why?”

“Why not?” He takes another hit and hands it back to me. I do the same and thus begins the game of passing his joint back and forth.

“Because it pisses her off and makes us uncomfortable.”

“She’s dating someone and won’t tell me.” He runs his hand through his hair. “It’s not that she has to tell me, but it’s more for my this-is-the-final-nail-in-the-coffin or whatever. In my head, if I don’t know there’s a person there, then I still have a chance.”

I shake my head. “I don’t think you have a chance, man. She’s moved on, and no, before you ask, I don’t know who she’s dating.”

Hendrix rolls his eyes. “Where’s Nola?”

“Not here.”

“Obviously. She quit ya?”

“You know how Dana’s personal life is off-limits? So is mine.” I walk away, not willing to discuss anything with him. As I get to the store, the door swings open and Justine steps out with a plastic bag dangling from her wrist.

For a brief moment, we stand there, staring at each other, and then there’s this shift and her eyes light up.

“Hey,” her voice is soft, hesitant. Likely because I’ve been a distant prick on the bus. “I got you the gummy worms you like.”

She did what now?

I stare at the bag and then at her. Something about the simple gesture sends a sharp, unexpected pain through me. The fact that she noticed and cared enough to remember makes me feel like a pathetic asshole for the way I’ve acted.

I definitely don’t deserve kindness right now.

Justine holds the bag of worms out for me.

“Thanks,” I mumble and head into the store. Stupidly, I turn around to see if she’s watching me, and she is. Even through the glass, I can see disappointment etched on her face. She turns and heads toward the bus, leaving with my tail between my legs.

“You’re such an asshole,” I mutter to myself as I walk up and down the aisle.

I’m the last to get back on the bus. As I step on, I laugh, thinking how funny it would be if they left without me.

The sucky part would be not having my guitar and my clothes, but also how it could be an adventure to be lost or stuck in some town where you don’t know anyone.

I could go back to playing gigs at local dive bars and just be me.

The guy I used to be before my sister convinced me to join the band.

Be the person I was before I fell for Nola.

I walk past everyone without giving them a second glance and head upstairs to the lounge where my guitar is. My phone vibrates in my pocket.

Elle

Getting high is a new thing . . .

I stare at the screen and contemplate how I should respond. With my sister, honesty is the best policy.

I’m wound tight and need to relax. Besides, you’re not my mom

She responds right away.

Elle

As I tell all my musicians, only buy from a cannabis store. I don’t need you guys getting something laced. As your sister, I’ll tell mom just to piss you off. Don’t smoke on the bus, it’s against our contract. Remind everyone.

Roger that.

Upstairs, I walk by the bunks, hoping I’m not disturbing anyone, and head to the lounge where my guitar is. Justine and Priscilla are in there, watching TV.

“Do you want us to leave?” Priscilla asks.

“No, you’re fine,” I tell them as I glance at Justine. She smiles sheepishly.

I sit down, grab my guitar, and strum a few chords before writing down some words floating around in my mind.

Why’d you go / where’d you hide / was I blind / was I blind?

The door closes, and I look around to see who came in, only to find Priscilla has left.

“I’m sorry about earlier,” I say to Justine. “I’m going through some shit, and I snapped at you. I appreciate you buying the worms for me.” I rip the bag open and offer them to her.

“It’s okay,” she says as she puts her small, delicate hand inside. She hands me one and takes one for herself.

“What’s your favorite candy?”

“Caramel coffee cold brew M&M’s.”

“That’s a flavor?”

Justine smiles, not the polite, quick smile she gives fans. Not the forced stage grin she gives me after our duet. This one is different. It’s slower, softer, like she’s letting me in on a secret she hasn’t told anyone.

It pulls at the corner of her mouth, tipping just a little higher on the left side.

Mischievous.

Knowing.

Playful.

It’s the kind of smile that says, “I see you even when you’re trying not to be seen.”

This one is for me and only me.

She sees me.

How long has she been looking?

And for a beat, I forget what I’m angry about.

I forget about the note dragging my pocket down and the ring causing my heart to ache cruelly.

For a beat, I’m Quinn, musician and lead male singer of a very successful band . . . all because of Justine’s smile.