Page 1 of The Road to Forever (Beaumont: Next Generation #7)

ONE

M y dad has always said the ocean cures all. Any other time, I would agree, but I’m not sure surfing, the waves, or the salt air can cure what I’m feeling.

Lost.

Sad.

Hurt.

Confused.

The water, beach, and sand aren’t going to make any of those emotions go away, nor can it fix them. It doesn’t matter how many times I take my board out, I still feel like my life is falling apart. The only thing the Pacific does for me is give me an escape from reality.

Even my music has suffered. Although, my sister Elle says lately I’m writing the best songs I ever have. I suppose this is the bonus of watching the woman you’re in love with slip away from you.

I don’t know how else to describe what’s going on between Nola and me.

Lately, it seems like I’m pushing her to do something she doesn’t want to do—marry me.

I want to set a date, marry her, and start a family.

I know long engagements are a thing, but I feel like there’s no end in sight.

She wants to get married back home, which I totally understand, and don’t fault her for.

My family can and will travel. They’re the only ones I would want at the wedding anyway. Them, and my band.

The one aspect of the ceremony I don’t agree on is not having my sisters in the wedding.

It’s not something I can get behind. I thought for sure Nola would understand, being as she has siblings, but she’s told me her bridal attendants are already planned.

I honestly don’t understand how she can’t add the twins. They’re important to me.

I often wonder if she’s jealous of Peyton and Elle.

Or maybe it’s something else.

Maybe she’s still in contact with my half sister.

I shudder at the thought. Nola promised, swore up and down, she had no idea her roommate was my half sister. I believe her now, but at the time, I had my reservations.

Earlier this evening, Nola and I went over to visit with my sisters and their spouses, who happen to be two of my closest friends.

We normally go over a lot when it’s not football season because it gives us all a chance to visit.

I get to see Elle all the time, but when Noah is with the team, he and Peyton live in Portland, Oregon most of the time.

Sure, I go up for some of his games, but it’s not the same.

I love sitting around and shooting the shit with the guys and giving my sisters crap.

Tonight, something was off with Nola. I felt it long before we arrived.

I made a comment about us getting a dog, which she didn’t like, and then the tension peaked when it slipped, I’d be heading out on tour soon.

I know it’s my fault for not telling her, but honestly, she didn’t have the best time during the last tour.

I don’t know if it was life on the bus or what.

Each place we visited, I tried to do the tourist thing so we could see some sights together and make new memories, but after a bit, she didn’t even want to leave the bus.

Of course, it didn’t help that I told my sisters Nola loved being on tour.

They’re used to this life. Nola isn’t. At times, I forget this and had assumed she didn’t mind traveling in a bus.

My bad for not pestering her for the truth.

But also, she knew this was my life when we started dating.

It’s not like my career suddenly took off. She’s been with me from the start.

Mention of the tour set something off in Nola. She left Peyton’s, opting to take an Uber home. Part of me wonders if I should’ve followed her, but another part of me told her she needed her space. I let everyone believe what Nola told Peyton—that she had homework.

Noah didn’t believe shit. I might have confided in him about the strain in my relationship, but not with my sisters there.

I know the twins well enough to know Peyton would try to fix things and Elle would make sure .

. . well, I don’t want to even think about what Elle might do.

Ever since Ben’s cancer diagnosis, she’s changed a lot but is still protective of her family.

After leaving my sister’s, I drive around for a bit instead of going right home. Nola hasn’t called or texted asking where I am or when I’m coming home. Maybe she doesn’t care or maybe she truly did have homework and is studying. Either way, I hate this feeling of dread building inside of me.

This is a new development in our years-long relationship, the fighting and tension.

I don’t know what changed, but there’s been a wedge between us since the start of the year.

I thought I could ignore it, but after what happened earlier in front of Noah, I’m not sure I can anymore.

The way she acted—storming out like that—it was embarrassing.

I don’t know how to handle this side of being with someone.

My parents don’t fight. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen them argue.

Noah and Peyton only make googly eyes at each other.

Ben and Elle, while they’d had their issues, are solid.

These men worship my sisters, similar to the way my dad reveres my mom.

How do I navigate what’s going on with Nola, if those people are my examples? It’s impossible.

Where did I fail?

Where did we fail?

The answers aren’t in the ocean. I’m not going to hear voices in the waves.

The only one who can tell me where I’ve failed as a boyfriend, fiancé .

. . as a man, is Nola. That’s if I can get her to talk to me.

Of course, I will need to go inside and put my heart on the line and ask her what’s going on.

Instead of heading toward the water, I turn down the road that’ll take me to the house I bought for Nola. I drive by slowly, wondering if she’s even home.

Is she waiting up for me or did she go to bed? If she’s in bed, do I wait until the morning to talk about what happened this evening? Or is this something we sweep under the rug until next time.

The thing is, I don’t want there to be a next time. I don’t like feeling embarrassed in front of my family.

With a heavy sigh, I pull into the driveway and shut my car off. The problem with talking is this deep-seated fear I have that I’m missing something vital in our relationship. The last thing I want to do is hurt Nola. I love her far too much to cause her any pain.

She knows I’m sitting in the driveway. Our security system would’ve alerted her to someone being outside. I finally get out and enter through the garage door. The garage is too small for either of our cars to park in, so I use it mostly to store band equipment.

Inside, I set my keys on the table and kick my shoes off before walking up the stairs to our living room. The lights are dimmed, which is typical for us at this time of night. Instead of calling her name, I walk down the hall and knock softly on her office door.

“Come in,” she says almost instantly.

I twist the doorknob and crack the door slightly, and peek my head in. “Hey.”

“Hey,” she says, matching my soft tone.

“How’s the studying going?”

Nola sighs heavily and I brace myself for what she has to say. “It’s meh. I have a test tomorrow and . . .” She shakes her head.

Her words make me feel like an ass. Did I seriously doubt she had homework?

“Can I come in?” I ask, even though she’s already invited me. Nola nods and I enter, making my way over to the small sofa she has in her office. I sit on the cushion closest to her. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the tour earlier.”

Nola sighs again, swivels on her chair and presses some buttons on her computer before coming to sit next to me. She angles her body toward me, pulling her legs underneath her.

“It’s not the tour that bothers me. It’s that you think I can drop everything to go with you.”

I nod. She’s right. It’s exactly what I expected. “I really love having you on tour with me and I guess I just expected you to be there without asking you.” I shake my head.

“Did your mom drop everything to go on tour with your dad?”

Shrugging, I look at her. “Yes and no. It depended on how old we were and what was going on. The older we got, the less she went.”

“Quinn, I want to finish my degree and get a job.”

For whatever reason, hearing that she wants to work makes my heart hurt. “You know you don’t have to work.”

“I know, and I appreciate the offer, but I want to feel like I’m contributing to our relationship.

Right now, you pay for my schooling, this house, car, and everything else.

While I know I can go to the bank and take money out, I feel awkward.

I want to be able to buy you something without you seeing it on your credit card statement or buy my parents a present without feeling like I need to justify the purchase. ”

My eyes widen at her. “Have I ever asked you why you spend money?”

“No, but that’s not the point, Quinn.”

I know I’m not a perfect person, nor do I try to be. Nola’s my first girlfriend and the only woman I have loved outside of my family. To the best of my ability, I’ve tried to be the greatest boyfriend or fiancé I could be.

We’re quiet for a bit until she reaches for my hand.

Our fingers link and I bring her hand to my lips and kiss the back of it.

“I’m going to be better about checking with you before I make plans or agree to do things.

Like tonight, with going to Peyton and Noah’s.

I should’ve checked with you before I agreed. ”

“Thank you,” she says, moving closer. “I’m so close to being done, I just want to finish and graduate, and then things will be much easier.”

I scoff but keep it under my breath as much as possible. Nothing about this will be easier. She’ll have a job and I’ll still be heading out on a tour. It won’t be this one, but the next, and the one that follows, and she’ll always be home, while I’m touring the country.

My hand maneuvers enough so my fingers rub over her ring.

I remember sliding it on her finger, thinking I’d be fine with a long engagement.

Look at my parents. They’re not married, at least not in the eyes of the government, but they are to each other.

The fact that they never signed a piece of paper never bothered me.

With Nola, I want the piece of paper. I want to stand up in front of our friends and family and say our vows to each other.

“I have a couple of stops in South Carolina,” I say to her as I play with her ring.

“What do you think about you flying out when I’m there and we get married?

Your parents are already there and mine can fly out.

Then after you graduate, we’ll go back out there and have the full-blown wedding of our dreams.”

Nola smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “I’ll talk to my mom and make sure they don’t have anything booked.” She leans toward me and gives me a quick kiss. “I need to get back to studying.”

“Okay.” I stand and head to the door. “I love you.”

“Love you,” she says, glancing up quickly and then back at her computer.