Page 36 of The Right to Remain

“I meant your other name.”

“That name is dead to me.”

“That doesn’t make it nonexistent.”

“In the eyes of the law it does.”

“No, a name change ‘under seal’ doesn’t mean your old name ceased to exist. It means no one can see it without a court order. Your criminal conviction, on the other hand, has beenexpunged. That’s something entirely different. Expunged means it’s as if the conviction never happened.”

“To me, it’s all the same. That name, that time in my life—that person—is dead to me.”

“I take it you have no intention of telling me about the crime you committed or what your name was at the time.”

“That’s exactly right.”

Jack rose. “Then I’m afraid I can’t be your lawyer.”

Elliott’s mouth was agape. “You can’t fire me. I paid you.”

“Bonnie will write you a check before you leave.”

It was a tough stance, but it wasn’t the first time Jack had found it necessary to scare a client into telling him the truth.

“I have to testify before a grand jury on Friday. I need you.”

“Yes, you do. And I need you to be honest with me.”

Elliott took a moment, thinking. “All right.”

Jack settled back into his chair. “No more secrets?”

“No more lies,” said Elliott.

Jack saw a distinction, but he let it go for the moment. “That’s a good start.”

Elliott took a breath, then asked, “Do you mind if I take off my tie?”

“No problem. I don’t mean to kill your fashion statement, but outside the courthouse, I don’t know anyone who wears them anymore. The pandemic did for neckties what JFK’s inauguration did for top hats.”

“Who?”

Once upon a time, it had been common knowledge that John F. Kennedy’s refusal to wear a top hat to his presidential inauguration had put an end to that fashion accessory. Elliott’s reaction was yet another reminder that Jack wasn’t getting any younger.

“Never mind. Yes, by all means, lose the tie.”

Elliott raised his chin, unfurled the silk knot, and slid off his tie. As he slowly unbuttoned his shirt collar, he locked eyes with Jack, as if to make sure that Jack was watching closely. Then he removed a small packet from his coat pocket, tore it open, and unfolded a wet wipe. He applied it to his throat and cleaned away the makeup.

“A little shadow right above the Windsor knot gives the illusion of an Adam’s apple,” said Elliott.

It suddenly occurred to Jack that the only time he’d seen Elliott without a necktie was the time he’d worn a lacrosse uniform, including pads and headgear, to C. J. Vandermeer’s demonstration.

He turned to show Jack his profile, the smoothness of his neck.

“Eventually, I may opt for a more permanent solution,” said Elliott. “For now, the necktie and the makeup do the trick.”

“You’re trans?”

“Duh.”