Page 19 of The Retreat

The obstacle course loomed ahead like a playground designed by Hannibal Lecter: ropes suspended between trees, hay bales, tyres dug halfway into the ground, and what appeared to be a climbing wall made from repurposed pallets.

Talia adjusted the chin strap on her helmet grimly.

‘Alright, everyone, find your partner!’ Rebecca called out.

There was a shuffle of motion as Monroe employees broke off into pairs, dictated by Rebecca. Talia turned just in time to see Rhona heading her way, one of the partners. She looked visibly unhappy about everything that was happening.

‘Guess we’re paired?’ Rhona said.

Talia smiled despite herself. ‘I’ll try not to get us kicked off for unsportsmanlike behaviour.’

‘Pity. I had high hopes.’

Talia laughed and looked over to see Imogen standing to watch with her fellow WAG Lara. Her face said happy, but her body said, ‘Get me the fuck out of this.’

‘How’s she getting on?’ Rhona asked.

Talia shrugged. ‘I think Celeste likes her.’

‘But does she like Celeste?’ Rhona asked.

Talia was stumped by that.

‘My husband didn’t,’ Rhona said.

‘Well…’ Talia began, aware she was in tricky territory.

If she agreed, she was disloyal to Celeste. If she didn’t, she was disagreeing with Rhona. Either way, not great.

‘It’s OK, this isn’t an interview. Not with me, anyway,’ Rhona said. ‘I’m already voting for you.’

Talia smiled sincerely. ‘Oh! Thank you, Rhona.’ She’d hoped this was the case, but it changed nothing in terms of the numbers. Celeste was the one with the real pull.

‘In return, I need you to get me over this fucking thing without breaking my hip,’ she said, nodding at the course in front of them.

‘You’re nowhere near old enough for that sort of talk,’ Talia told her.

‘I knew there was a reason I liked you,’ Rhona said.

They set off together toward the start line, side by side in companionable silence.

‘Think it’ll be tragic or just mildly humiliating?’ Rhona asked as they surveyed the first obstacle, a rope net they’d need to climb and descend on the other side.

‘What? We’re going to win, Rhona,’ Talia said with a flash of her eyes. ‘That’s the idea, right? Find out who wants it the most?’

‘God, don’t ask me. I tried to stop this weekend from happening.’

Talia resisted the urge to tell her she was sorry she hadn’t succeeded.

Rebecca explained the rules to the teams. Teams would start at staggered intervals, as it was a timed exercise. Teams that crossed the finish line together would have the same time. Those finishing separately would have their times added together for their total.

‘If you need to leave me for dead, I shan’t mind,’ Rhona said.

Talia laughed like that was ridiculous. But she absolutely would if she had to.

Then Rebecca yelled, ‘Bang!’ into a megaphone.

Everyone looked at her.

Rebecca lowered the megaphone. ‘I don’t have a starter pistol,’ she explained.

‘Yelling “Go” is also acceptable,’ Talia told her.

Rebecca’s shoulders dropped. ‘Fine.’ She picked up her megaphone. ‘Go!’

To Talia’s surprise, she didn’t have to leave Rhona behind. She and Rhona kept talking to each other, calling out steps, steadying each other with a hand to the shoulder or wrist, both naturally in sync. Rhona had a dry running commentary going that made Talia laugh hard enough to nearly miss her footing on the balance beam.

‘We should quit our jobs and become stuntwomen,’ Rhona said, breathless, after they slid down a small incline and landed together in the dirt.

‘So much for dodgy hips. You’re a beast at this,’ Talia told her.

By the time they reached the end of the course, Talia was panting and flushed in a way that felt good. She wiped the sweat from her forehead with the back of her glove and exchanged a victorious high five with Rhona.

Talia and Rhona sat on the log, recovering.

Next up were Marcus and Daniel, crashing through the final hay bales for no particular reason. Marcus’s polo shirt was clinging to him in patches. Daniel, still somehow wearing his gilet, looked annoyingly fresh.

‘Absolutely smashed it, mate!’ Daniel crowed, patting Marcus on the back hard enough to dislocate something. ‘Knew we’d be top contenders. What did I tell you, Marcus? All about the follow-through. Like a clean line-out.’

‘You did say that,’ Marcus agreed, beaming like they’d just invented teamwork.

More times filtered across, with a much less chipper energy. Claire and June appeared with the quiet menace of seasoned professionals. Claire’s hair was windswept, but her dignity was intact. June had a smear of dirt across her cheek and looked delighted about it.

Peter Chen passed them at a quiet trot, alone, the straps of his helmet hanging loose. He tapped Rebecca’s clipboard as he went by. ‘Finished,’ he said simply, then sat down on the grass, pulled out a phone, and put his headphones back on.

‘Wait… Who was his partner?’ Talia asked.

‘Jade,’ Rhona said, pointing.

Jade came last, deliberately, emerging from the final stretch with her arms wide like a victorious gladiator. ‘I’m here to entertain, not compete!’ she announced.

Rebecca tapped her stopwatch and noted her time.

Talia stood and walked over, ‘Um, so…’

‘Give me a minute,’ Rebecca said irritably and then quickly slapped on a smile. ‘But I love the energy.’ Talia huffed and went back to Rhona.

After an excruciating wait that was probably only about three minutes, Rebecca picked up her megaphone. ‘Now, in first place… Daniel and Marcus!’

Daniel grabbed Marcus’s face and screamed, ‘YEEESSSS!’ right into it.

Talia tried not to glare.

‘And in second place, Talia and Rhona,’

Rhona smiled. ‘I’m happy with that.’

Talia smiled back. But she was not in accord. To be beaten by fucking Daniel... this wasn’t good.

Then things got worse.

‘And now that you’ve all warmed up with your work buddies…’ Rebecca called out cheerily. ‘It’s time for round two! But this time, we’re doing the course again with your partners! Just for fun!’

Talia froze.

There were groans, laughter, and the rustle of people glancing around for their romantic plus-ones.

‘And here’s me, a widow. Guess I’m sitting this one out with a coffee,’ Rhona muttered with a grin, walking off.

Talia saw Imogen walking over to her with the look of a woman stepping up to the gallows.

‘We need to nail this,’ Talia told her right away.

‘Why? Is there a cash prize?’ Imogen replied wryly.

‘Alex…’

‘Sure, yeah, got it. Umm, I can do this. I can definitely do this,’ she said. But Talia knew the tone of a woman psyching herself up. It didn’t fill her with confidence.

Talia needed to win this. She didn’t buy the fun thing at all. This would be watched. And if she could make second place with a widow in her sixties, it might look bad if she couldn’t beat Daniel with her younger, outdoorsy ‘girlfriend.’