Page 48 of The Promise Of Rain

He allowed me to slide down his long body and held me until my feet found the ground.

I imprinted the feel of his body in my mind, one last memory to hold onto when the nights drew long and the past refused to stay buried.

A bittersweet tenderness I shared with the man who captured my heart and never gave it back.

He was a good man.

Grief sank her claws into my throat.

Voice breaking, I tipped my chin up to meet his eyes and stabbed the bruise that used to be my heart.“You’re ten years too late.”

My hands dropped from his biceps, and I stepped back until only the tips of his fingers clung to my hips.

Now that I’d made my decision, that familiar, blessed numbness enfolded me.

His eyes shuttered, locking his emotions behind the stony façade I was beginning to recognize as a well-earned mask almost as perfectly hewn as my smile.

I stared up at him, the loss of warmth in his eyes freezing me in place.

And solidifying the wisdom of my decision.

Better now than 1 year from now when he grows tired of me or another rumour crops up.

I gently brushed his hands from my hips and stepped back.

Frowning deeply, his eyes ran up and down my quaking frame.“You need a fucking proper winter coat.”

That wasn’t his concern.

I shook my head and retrieved the box of cookies.

Battered and broken, but still good.

Ansel was waiting for me, and Ansel had never let me down.

9

Chance

Deacon

I rubbed a rough hand over my chin as I followed the sway of Jenny’s curvy hips down the main hallway in St.Michael’s.

As if we hadn’t had the face-off of all face-offs in the parking lot, she waved and smiled as every fucking nurse in there greeted her or teased her or thanked her for their everlasting supply of freshly baked goods.

And it wasn’t the polite, tentative smile I’d grown accustomed to seeing since I’d been back, this was a real smile.It reached her eyes.

She was a different person here.

Or maybe she was a different person in Moose Lake; a watered down, muted version of the woman I fell in love with.

The nurses lit up when they saw her, then their eyes flitted to my face and their smiles fled.

What a fucking mess.

My grandma’s eyebrows rose to her hairline when she saw us come in together.She began to smile until I dashed her hopes with a minute shake of my head.

For the next hour, Jenny flitted around my grandma and Ansel as I pulled up a seat and made like a fucking tree stump.