Page 18

Kai

I pace my chambers, agitated, as I have done basically every evening.

How has years of planning come to this ? This utter clusterfuck.

I tug at my hair as frustration threatens to swallow me. The fire in my fireplace flares, sparks dancing into the dim room.

I was two days old when my father brought me to his Captain, his dear friend, who’s wife had recently had a babe. My father had begged them to keep me alive. Mia had agreed easily. She, Lonan’s mother, and his father, had adopted both my father and I. We lived, grew and became who we are together.

Until that awful day that Lonan and I lost everything except each other.

I shake my head. I would betray my best friend? My lover? My brother? My heart mate?

But inside me, something gallops about, trying desperately to break free.

I knew. I knew the moment her little hand was in mine, the touch of our flesh sent it dancing inside me, when Caspian first dropped her here. When I had seen her in the cells the first time. When she was a nobody, a dirty, lost maid. Fuck . I’d prefer it that way. Then, I could let Lonan fuck her and wait for him to tire of her and after I could claim her.

My spirit mate. It was her.

Every inch of my being ached for her. But I had to not let Lonan know. First because she might have truly been a spy, and later, when it became apparent that Lonan was interested in her. And yet, I oriented myself to her presence in the room. I know she is mine. Know she’d fit perfectly. There had simply been a her -shaped hole in my life and I didn’t know it until I touched her. And unexpectedly, it had jolted through me, how much I was missing. All I want is to take her to my rooms and take care of every inch of her. To speak to her, while she lays upon my chest and I play with her hair. To learn of each other. For I know little of her, the true her. But I must hide it, no matter how much my soul is tormented

When I heard her yell, I had run to her rooms, only to find her having the life choked out of her by the Ordained. My magic had exploded. No harm is allowed to come to my mate. The fact that I had managed to bring her to Lonan’s bed, not mine, was miraculous.

I had been excited to train her, to give us more time together, even though every moment I was near her but not touching her burned my soul. And as I had teased her while we trained, I had not meant to hurt or insult her. I... am not good with women. I had interacted with her the way I do with Lonan. That was obviously wrong. Mayhap because she’s a woman, mayhap because we don’t know each other well yet. I’ve been with no one, pursued no one, but Lonan. I snort. That wasn’t even a pursuit, that had been as easy and natural as breathing. And that’s what this should be too, my heart insists.

But Oleander. Holy fuck, had I hurt her with those thoughtless words. Hurt her enough that she bared her soul to me. In order to get me to shut the fuck up . I had watched her, my mate, run away from me with pain and regret filling me. Stones, I am an idiot. I had grabbed her little black shoes and left them by her door, ashamed to even attempt an apology.

My levels of need are reaching absolutely insane levels, and Oleander, while I suspect she has bedroom skills, will not be submitting to me anytime soon, I believe. Watching Lonan pleasure her had been the most twisted, painful pleasurable ache of my entire life. I had wanted to touch her. To pull her into my lap, spread her over me for Lo and grind myself against her while I played with her breasts.

I wanted to lay Oleander open across my bed and feast upon her, watch her body contort in pleasure, until the only God she prayed to was me. And then, I’d take her, gently, making us one, as close together as we could be. I’d feel the only woman I’d ever touch; to experience her tense and grip my cock as I delivered as much pleasure as I could. It was what the universe demanded. My utter devotion to her, my princess, my Goddess. And I would give it.

Or. I would have. If Lonan would have ever tired of her. But. She’s in line for the throne. The throne we’ve sworn to overthrow. Lonan will never let go of her . I snort; he’s the most obstinate creature I’ve ever met. Perhaps besides Oleander.

That thought hurts so badly I curl up in my bed. I will lose them both.

My shoulders shake as I bury my face into a pillow, letting the misery overcome me.

THE SUN AWAKENS ME the next morning and I slip from my bed. I am as empty as a sail in the doldrums. I head outside, pausing a moment to watch the sun rise above the treetops. The sun has always had strong pull upon me, as a fire Fae.

I join the morning training of the keep’s guard. By the time we are done with warm up calisthenics, my mind is clearer. Several rounds of kicking their asses, two or three at a time, with a training sword, and I’m even more hollow than when I started, but pleasantly tired. I nod to them and head back to my rooms for a quick shower. I have missed breakfast, which means Lo will be looking for me soon enough.

I put on my usual attire of leather breeches and a linen shirt with my comfortable boots. I add my blades and sheaths before leaving my rooms. I take a deep breath and cross to Oleander’s door. My knock is loud.

“One moment!” Her voice is muffled and my heart flutters nervously.

She tugs the door open, her hair done up in two buns again and wearing a simple black dress that accentuates her breasts. I stare at them a moment and swallow.

“Oleander. I would speak with you.”

She arches a white eyebrow, her orange-pink eyes annoyed, but she steps back. I trail her in, feeling like a lost puppy. What the fuck am I doing?

No. I need to speak with her. Get to know her.

“Princess,” I say softly, again pleased that I’m the only person who calls her that, “I wanted to apologize for my... abhorrent behavior.”

“Mmm,” she purses her lips, “You’re going to have to be more specific.”

She’s spicy. It’s as attractive coming from her as it is from Lonan. Mayhaps more so.

Lonan and I are heart mates. It’s a different bond than a spirit mate; a chosen bond. Still sealed in blood, still considered sacred, but not the same. We bonded nearly forty-five years ago, but had been together since we were young men. I’ve never been with another.

But now, now I know that Oleander is my spirit mate. I would not lose Lonan, but I cannot ignore this bond.

I let a chuckle at her response slip out and she looks surprised.

“I meant while we were training. I... was so far out of line.” I shake my head, truly remorseful. “I apologize, Princess. I’m sorry. I promise you I will not act as such again.”

She’s crossed her arms under those gorgeous breasts of hers. She just watches me, skepticism in her gaze.

“And I’m so sorry for what you endured. It’s... unacceptable.” Wrath fills me again, “I would know the names of those responsible so that I may...” I stop. It’s more than I meant to say. But the thought of my mate, my little mate hurt and alone and enchained. Well fuck, rage isn’t a strong enough word for the emotion running through me.

Her eyes are wide and she takes a tiny step towards me. She whispers, “Did you tell Lonan?”

I shake my head, my eyes locked on her face. She hasn’t told him herself yet?

“Thank you for that.”

I nod, unsure of my voice. She inches closer to me, head cocked. “I didn’t thank you for saving me from Achlys either. So, thanks.” She sounds lost.

I shift a little. “Uh, you’re welcome.”

She quickly steps back. “Would you care for a drink? I have a bottle of wine.”

“Sure.” I don’t really care for wine but I’m not about to turn anything from her down.

She crosses to the small sideboard and pulls two glasses of the tray, carefully pouring the rich red wine into them. I step behind her, close–too close but I cannot help myself—and take one of the glasses.

She freezes at my nearness for a moment, then sidesteps and crosses to a chair by the empty fireplace. She sits smoothly and I press a fire started. As it immediately crackles happily, she smiles. I sit in the chair across from her.

“You’re a sol.”

I nod. She surely realized it when I killed Achlys. Sols are the most powerful of the fire Fae. We are not common.

When I say nothing, she takes a deep drink, as though steeling herself.

“Kai, I need...”

My heart leaps in my chest. My mate needs something from me. Anything, baby.

“I need someone in the Inner Circle to talk to about... something. It’s silly, but I can’t seem to figure it out. I’d rather talk to Cook or Lu but Lonan thinks it should stay more... private. If Tazi was here, I’d ask her her thoughts but...”

“Of course you can ask me. Tell me, I mean. Whichever.” I try to smile but her face is nervous.

“You must promise me that you’ll let me tell Lonan on my own.”

I nod. “Alright, Princess. I do so promise.”

She tosses back the rest of her wine. I manage not to raise my eyebrows but I do swiftly stand and take her glass for a refill. My hand touches hers as I do and heat slips from me to her.

I cross to fill it and chastise myself. Where is my control? Letting my magic drop like I was a green youth.

It’s her. She does it to me. I’m totally unmanned by her. I return, handing her her glass, my grip tight on my magic, and sit across from her again.

We both take a drink, her surprising, gorgeous eyes latched upon my face.

“I said I have a contact with the royal clan in Guivre.”

I nod, silent.

“It’s my former lover. I... had expected to never speak to him again.”

I swallow, throat dry. I want to ask his name, because I’m going to kill him but I simply nod again and sip my wine.

“You see, his mother is in Narisa’s line. A second cousin. She could easily pass a message. Would be happy to recommend me, us, to the clan.”

I try to shake the image of gutting this man, this dragon, out of my head. “Could you... contact her directly? His mother?”

She frowns, drinking more. “No. She’s a bit of a recluse. A nomad. I have no idea how I’d get in contact with her myself. But he’d know.”

I nod. Calm down. I can’t kill him until he carries the letter to his mother for my mate.

“Then what is the problem?” I ask tightly. The problem is this fucker breathing anywhere near Ollie.

She laughs, tossing up her hand. “See? I knew I needed a woman’s opinion.”

“What?” I ask, eyebrows drawn.

She drinks and laughs again. “A woman would not need me to explain that I simply have no words to say to him. To say to a man I had given up.”

She still has feelings for him. Heat flares through me. No. Not acceptable. My Ollie can care for Lonan, that is entirely different. But anyone else? No. Fuck no.

Without realizing it, I have jumped to my feet. Ollie stands too, worry writ upon her face. I cross to her and scoop her up.

She squeaks but I hush her. She buries her face in my chest and I rush us out of her rooms and into mine.

I stride to the sofa, lighting my fireplace as I do so.

“What is it? Was there a threat?” She asks, tightly, but obviously trying to be brave.

Yes, a threat to my sanity. Fuck.

I sit, rearranging her so she’s straddling my lap. I cannot think about this, if I do I will surely lose my nerve.

She makes a noise of shock but her legs are too short to keep her body raised above mine, so I can feel the press of her. And she can feel me . My hands go to her hips.

“Oleander, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry baby, to tell you like this. But you’re my mate . My spirit mate. I’ve known since your hand touched mine. I’ve tried so hard to stay back, to let you and Lonan get to know each other, but I cannot go another moment.” I raise my hands slowly to cup her face. She stares at me in awe. Or maybe shock, I don’t know. My thumbs gently stroke her cheeks.

“I’ll do anything, kill anyone, for you, princess. You’re mine.” I dip my head forwards, ashamed at the hurt this will cause Lonan, ashamed at my weakness, ashamed at my need.

“Kai,” she whispers. I cannot bring myself to look up.

Instead, I forge ahead. “Do you feel it? Please, tell me, baby.” I hesitate. Sometimes one mate is more sensitive to the bond than the other. “If you don’t, we can unlock it, so you can.”

I slowly meet her eyes and her face is uncharacteristically soft. She whispers, “I do. I just didn’t realize what it was until you said it.” She shakes her head a tiny bit, then leans in slowly. “Kiss me,” she breathes.

And I do. I touch our lips together softly, slowly and she parts for me. I groan into her mouth, then slip my tongue between her lips. She makes a soft sound of need.

“Will you...” I hesitate, not sure if what I want will be offensive.

She cocks her head, a tiny smile on her lips as she waits to hear me.

“Will you let your hair down?”

A sweet smile crosses her face and she nods. Her hands raise and she tugs out first one hair stick, then the other. Her white hair with the pretty streaks of light green that remind me of vines though it, cascades down, gorgeous and smooth.

“May I touch it?” I breathe.

She nods, face still soft. I lift one hand and twirl a lock of it in my fingers tentatively. She purrs and I raise my other hand, burying it and cupping the back of her head. Her eyes close and the little sound of pleasure that escapes her soft lips dives straight to my dick. Fuck .

I lean in, letting my lips and tongue and teeth skim over her neck. Her hands wrap around my neck, letting out a sweet sound of enjoyment. I kiss her neck again, hands still in her hair.

I had been holding myself back; she’s a woman, and traumatized. I have no idea how to handle this. But her sounds, and the heat of her cunt over me. I shake myself. She’s my mate, surely we can figure this out together? I grip her hips and press her into me. She gasps, wiggling, positioning herself. I chuckle. “Needy, baby?” I rock my hips up and she whimpers and nods frantically.

She grinds herself down against my hard cock. “Fuck, Kai, I’m... fuck. I’m miserable. I...”

“Baby, just tell me,” I rumble, “Tell me what you need. I’ll take care of it.”

She whispers, face buried against me, “I need to finish . So badly.”

A whimper, and she rocks against me hard. My hands tighten on her hips. “Tell me how you want to cum for me, mate. We’ll make you cum, then we’ll seal our bond. Fuck , my gorgeous little mate. Gods, you’re perfect and you’re mine.”

She purrs and whines and I grin. She likes praise. And I like making her feel good, so praise it is.

“Tell me, baby. Be good for me, use your words.” I thrust up against her again and she gasps. “Where do you want to cum?”

“Oh fuck, Kai.”

“Right here? Right like this?” I thrust again, holding her hips tight. “You wanna make a mess on my pants? That’s perfectly alright with me, mate.” My fingers dig into her flesh over that striking dress of hers and I buck upward, rubbing my hard cock along her slit again.

She groans, her head dipping in to rest against me. I let one hand slide up to cradle the back of her head, enjoying the feel of her hair again.

“Or would you rather cum in my hand?” I growl. “Can I feel you milk my fingers with your cunt?”

“Fuck, Kai,” she whispers into my ear. Her breath tickles and I feel even more tenderness towards her.

I chuckle. “Or do you need my mouth? That’s it, huh, baby? You wanna cum on my face so I can drink down your pleasure?”

“All of those things, Kai. I want them all,” she says ferociously. Her hips rock hard, her cunt obviously wet through our clothes. She shakes her head, “Can’t wait,” she gasps, “I can’t wait, Kai.”

“Fuck,” I groan hands flexing into her hips. “Give it to me like this, then baby. Ride me. Use me. Rub your clit against my body and let go.”

She rides me, fully dressed, so fucking needy and aching that she can’t even wait for me to reposition us and slide my hand up her skirts, and that thought is near enough for me to shoot in my breeches.

“My little mate,” I praise, “Your cunt is so hot. You do really need this, huh?” I kiss her face, her neck, her closed eyes. “Good girl. Let go for me. Let me hear you cum, princess.”

Her entire body is strung tight as she rides me.

“You’re doing so fucking well for me, baby. You’re perfect. Give it to me.”

Her back arches and I support her as she starts to cry out, eyes closed. I can feel the press of her as she works her clit hard over me, my cock aching and her noises almost enough to push me over too.

“Good girl, that’s it. So fucking good Ollie. Gods, perfect, baby.”

Her cries slowly die out and she finally relaxes, body dropping onto mine, chest heaving. I wrap my arms around her tentatively and she presses into me even more. My heart swells and I close my eyes, burying my nose into her wild white hair.

“Well, well, well.”

I jump and Oleander freezes in my arms.

“Very glad to see the two of you getting on so nicely.”

Lonan leans against my door frame, arms crossed over his chest.