Page 13

Oleander

H is Queen? His spirit mate?

Lonan’s patient look of adoration is enough to soften even my hard heart. A spirit mate. I cannot believe it, yet I can. The way I’m drawn to him, wanting to tell him my secrets, the energy that skims over my flesh when we touch.

But the idea of such a... permanent bond. My stomach clenches. It had taken me years to get right with the fact that a marriage was likely needed to achieve my goals. And yet, I do feel unreasonably drawn to him, feel idiotically safe with him.

The game has changed, but I’m still playing–and winning–it. I’m not fool enough to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Lonan kneels near me, waiting, still and persistent, arms out to me. I try to muster a glare but something inside me is warring. Wouldn’t it be nice to actually be able to trust and rely on the man I’ve planned to marry for near a decade?

My body simply can’t take it any more: I crawl into his arms. It feels so good. So wrong, but so good.

I lean my head against his strong chest. A rogue thought of him shirtless hits me and I push it away.

My stomach rumbles just as I relax into Lonan further.

“Are you hungry, sweetheart?” He asks. A pause, “Was dinner brought to you?”

I shake my head into his body. Now that I’ve given up and allowed this, it feels wonderful , a traitorous part of me thinks.

He growls, and it’s almost as if I can feel his energy shift to angry and frustrated and worried. How peculiar.

“Come on, then, up we go,” Lonan says soothingly as he helps me to my feet.

A thought hits me, “Oh, I started crumpets yesterday, I hope Cook finished them.”

Lonan chuckles and pulls me into his body but I put a hand upon his chest, stopping my motion. He blinks but takes it in stride. “You don’t need to work in the kitchen anymore.”

I tilt my head. “I like it. I obviously need to be privy to a lot more of the details around here, and included in planning meetings, but when I have time, I’ll be happy to help Cook.” A another thought strikes me. “Why does Lilac mistrust me? Is she your lover?”

Lonan laughs long and hard at that. By the time he stops, I’m even smiling a bit, his amusement pleasing something inside me.

“No. Never. Not Lilac. She mistrusts everyone. She’s... she’s more like an overbearing older sister, I imagine.”

I nod. “Well, she’ll just have to warm up to me.” I smile. “I’m not so bad, usually.”

He tosses me an adorable look. He holds out his arm and I slip my hand into it. We go slowly, and by the time we reach the main hall, I’ve relaxed into his hold.

We head into the kitchen. It’s one of the few hours of the day that it’s empty. Lonan gently presses me onto a stool and I can’t help my grin as he putters about.

“How did you get acquainted with the kitchen?” I smile. He pulls out some leftover bread and adds it to a plate with cheese.

He chuckles, “Well, I wasn’t always the leader of a huge rebel group.”

I blink. “The rumors say you are one of the Gaeba sons. That you alone survived.” I see his shoulders hitch up.

“We spread counter-disinformation,” he shrugs, attempting for casual but I can see right through it. He grabs a basket of eggs from the back cupboard and turns on the stove.

“So you’re not of the Gaeba line?”

He flashes a handsome grin, “I didn’t say that.”

I hop off the stool and slowly walk around the table to him. He watches me as he stands still.

I lean against his broad, muscular back, my skirts pressing between us, and I wrap an arm around to his chest. I curl my fingers loosely, feeling his flesh through his linen shirt. He groans at my touch, head tilting back.

“I don’t like games where I don’t know the rules, Lonan. I can’t win if I don’t understand the game. So...” I let my hand slide lower, to his stomach, “If you truly want me to align with you, you’re going to have to hand over some control.”

His breath is fast, but he stays still. Good .

“Alright, sweetheart.”

“Pet names are for private. I must have respect in public.”

He turns off the stove and twists in my arms, his arms coming around me. I struggle not to tense.

“I will always do you honor, my Queen.” He blinks slowly, looking down at me as his arm tightens over my back. “No, I am not a son of Gaeba. My father was King Gaeba’s trusted advisor and General. He died in the second wave of the Attack of Cowards. Along with Kai’s father and our mother.”

“I’m sorry, Lonan. I know how much loss can change a person.” I lean my cheek against his chest and he holds me for a moment. When he releases me, he grabs the pan of eggs and shoos me out of the way. I sit back down and watch him. He plops the eggs on the stale bread, after which he thinly slices the cheese over the top. Grabbing two forks, he brings the plate around and sits next to me, his knee bumping mine.

After a few bites, I ask, “You said ‘our’ mother. Is Kai your half brother?”

He chuckles, “No. Kai’s mother died in childbed. Our fathers were friends. Uncle Luc brought Kai to our home, begging for help. My parents wouldn’t have turned away a stranger, let alone a friend. We all lived as one big family.” A smile ghosts his face.

“Wow,” I breathe, “Three parents to love and guide you. Sounds incredible.”

As soon as the words leave my lips, I want to claw them back. Those few sentences revealed entirely too much. I quickly put a bite of the—wonderful—breakfast into my mouth.

I watch from the side of my eye as Lonan very purposefully eats a few more bites. I can feel it coming though.

His voice is just above a whisper. “And what of you, Ollie? How are you a child of the Stonesthrow family when your brother has...” He pauses, searching for a delicate way to say ‘murdered all your siblings.’

I swallow, and pour water from the pitcher into our glasses. I force a smile that I hope looks confident. “I will share my tale with you, mate,” I am hoping that calling him that wins me some points, “But can it wait? It is a long story and I wish for wine to be involved.”

He nods slowly and I get the feeling that he is not thrown off by my good humor.

At that moment, the kitchen door swings open. Cook, wiping sleep from her eyes, long gray hair loose down her back, comes to start the work of feeding the keep for the day. Her big brown eyes quickly take in the scene and immediately fill with tears. Cook throws herself at me, “Oh, child, I’m glad to see ye.” The hug she wraps me in makes my already on-edge nerves feel raw.

She rounds on Lonan, “Don’t you ever scare your old Cook like that again!”

Lonan hugs her, “I’m glad to see you like her, Cook. She’ll be around awhile.” And he throws me a loaded look that makes me squirm.

She looks to the stove. “Ach, did ye really use me good cast iron and leave it set dirty?”

Lonan ducks his head, “Sorry, Cook.”

She makes a disgruntled noise and takes the now empty plate from in front of us. “Go on, now, both you young folks. Breakfast isn’t for hours.”

“Of course, Cook.” Lonan smiles and hugs her. “Thank you.”

Lonan takes my arm and turns us gently for the other door. I look over my shoulder and Cook makes a lewd gesture at me, grinning. I scowl and snort and turn back to Lonan.

We head to the main hall. It’s dim and oddly magical. The fire is low but throws flickering light onto the armchairs near it and out beyond. The large circular table is nearly-hidden in the dim, dancing shadows.

Lonan pulls one of the heavy armchairs closer to the fire and beckons me to sit. I do with as much dignity as I can muster. I am not sure how committed he is to this idea of me as Queen and him as King Consort, so while I am pleased, I’m still treading delicately. I need to see how committed he is to this idea. How committed he is to me .

“Shall we have your rooms moved?” He asks with a smile.

“Oh, yes,” I start, excited.

“You can share mine,” Lonan purrs.

“Absolutely not,” I reply flatly.

He blinks and I continue, “It’s unseemly. Dangerous. And I’ll need my own space.”

“How, dangerous, Ollie?” He asks, confused.

“The rebel leader has a new lover? One he cares about enough to move her into his keep?” I arch an eyebrow.

He nods slowly, “I see your point. But if that is true, isn’t the safest place for you at my side?” And he grins winningly. I smile back. I can’t help it.

I understand now, my inane tenderness for him that’s been there since we met. A spirit mate. The person you are destined for. Some say your souls radiate the exact same color. Spirit mates are not unheard of, but not common.

I am normally, and very reasonably in my opinion, slow to warm to someone. This spirit mate thing is odd to me, I feel inclined and caring towards him as though he’d been my lover for years.

I’m sure, in time, I’ll develop actual feelings for him. He however, seems to have fallen head over heels. And I still will play him as a cheap fiddle if it will further my aims, mate or no. I learned, first the hard way while in chains, and then later, on my own terms, how to handle a man.

I try a different tact. “I would prefer my own space, please, Lonan. It is... important to me.”

He nods, reaching for my hand. “Of course, sweetheart.”

Well, that was surprisingly easy.

He smiles gently, “I like this bolder version of you.”

Ohh, stones, he has no idea.

We sit in silence, hands touching, as we stare at the fire in companionable silence. My mind wanders on how perhaps this would be nice, pleasant even. Foreign, but pleasant.

My eyes must close, between the warmth of the fire and the reassuring pressure of Lonan’s hand.

I jolt awake as the door opens behind us. My eyes fall to Lonan, who is looking at me softly, and we turn. In spills Tazi, Caspian, Lilac and Kai. Lonan stands, tenderly pulling on my hand to get me to follow.

“Inner Circle,” he starts, in a hard, formal voice, “I’d like you to meet Oleander. My consort.”

The look of shock that passes over their faces would be funny in a different situation. Lilac opens her mouth but at that moment, that wretched bat slips into the room. I glare at him.

“Ah, Ordained Achlys,” Lonan welcomes smoothly, “This is my consort, Oleander.”

By the laws of the Lord and Lady, a soothsayer must not reveal aught that they have learned during a seeing to anyone. Of course, we all know they run home and tell Mother and Father, but that’s not an issue at the moment.

Their high pitched voice says, flatly, “Lovely to meet you Lady Oleander.”

I nod, not trusting myself with words yet. The memory of their rough tongue is enough to tighten my throat.

Lonan leads me to the table and seats me next to him. I look down, feeling overwhelmed for a moment. This will take me to where I need to be. If I cannot do this, how will I rule Faery?

I smile at Tazi, who is in her half-shifted form, and she grins back, wings fluttering. “Oleander, hm?” She arches an eyebrow. I feel bad lying to her. I’ll apologize next time we’re alone.

“Yes. My friends call me Ollie. I’d be honored if you all did too.” I pointedly do not look at Achlys.

As Lu brings in our plates, I lean into Lonan’s space. “With Achlys here, I do not feel right asking about things I’d like to know.”

He nods and whispers, “Yes. We’ll all meet later, without him.”

I flash him a small smile and he leans in, as if to kiss me. I pull away as quick as is polite.

Kai speaks, ignoring my existence, “I sent word to Favorsham and Centerhedge, as requested.”

I suppose if they talked naught of policy, that bat would get suspicious. We all dig into our food, leaving little need for chatter.

“So...” Caspian drawls, leaning back in his chair, “From a maid to a consort, ‘tis a quick jump.”

I quirk an eyebrow at him at the same moment that I place a hand on Lonan’s leg. I had felt him tense, ready to be insulted, but he settles at my touch. Men are so easy to handle.

“Lonan and I spent enough time together to realize how... compatible... we are.”

I know enough about castles to know that the walls have ears, even if Achlys knows the truth. Lonan may trust the people around him, but I do not. Not yet.

Caspian smirks and I have a feeling that him and I are going to get on fine.

Breakfast is over quickly, conversation mostly focusing on how they will need to show me, and the Ordained, how lovely their annual Mabon Festival is.

As we stand after finishing our meal, Lilac paces past me, brushing me with her shoulder. I frown. I do not want an enemy. Lonan’s most trusted Fae must become my most trusted. Perhaps when she knows more of the truth she’ll warm to me.

“Have a lovely nap, Ordained,” Lonan purrs insincerely.

We all disperse, Lonan holding my hand tightly in a way that feels sincere. He considerately leads me to his rooms. But I am nervous to go, afraid he’ll try something, but before we are even up his private stairs, the door behind us opens and Tazi runs up the steps.

We make it to the reception room and I turn, holding out my hands to her. She takes them. “I am so sorry I lied to you Tazi. It was unkind of me, and I apologize.”

She grins, tugging me in for a hug. “It was to keep yourself alive, I reckon. No harm done. But I do expect the full story.”

I nod, my eyes prickling with tears. I’ve made a few friends over the years since my escape, but I still count myself lucky for every true friend I make.

Caspian, Lilac and Kai all hit the stairs at about the same time. Lonan is at his sideboard, pouring drinks. I spend a moment feeling out of place before I shake myself. I walk over to a large armchair and sit slowly, looking between them. I want them to be my trusted advisors, friends even, but they should understand that I will be running the show.

Kai levels a hard look at me before looking to Lonan. “And why, exactly , are you fucking the spy?”