Page 62 of The Pack Next Door (The Wolfverse #4)

Gideon

I sat in the armchair in the living room of the suite and when I heard their final muffled words, my eyes could finally close.

It was done. My breath came out in a great rush, making me feel so very hollow.

Not empty, but it was a sensation I hadn’t felt since I was a kid.

When you were still young enough to cry until you had nothing left, and all that was left was something small, soft and grey.

That feeling accompanied me into my room as I stripped down and then got under the covers to grab some sleep.

I didn’t think I’d be able to. What was happening, Briar’s reaction, it felt too big to be stuffed inside my head.

It couldn’t coexist with the kind of relaxation sleep needed, but the wolf stared back at me from the darkness inside my head, right before it swallowed my consciousness.

In my dreams, we ran and ran, paws striking the earth hard, and at my side were three other wolves.

My pack.

“Wake up, numbnuts!”

My head was jerked off the pillow and I blinked and blinked, the bland hotel room resolving itself and the sight of Mads standing there, with a shit-eating grin on his face. Morning, that’s what, I finally registered. Apparently, I had been able to sleep.

“Time to rise and shine, brother,” he said. “I slept off the beers I had last night, drank way too much coffee, because today is the day we prove to Briar we’re the men for her. Get up and I’ll get Jace out of bed.”

Shit. I scrambled out from under the covers, reaching for a pair of shorts to tug on, but by the time I stumbled into the living room, Mads was at Jace’s door.

“Rise and shine, dickhead.” Apparently, we were both getting rousing speeches today.

“We want to be at the warehouse before Briar gets there. You need to keep working your magic with the gold glue shit. Finish that up and Gideon and I will focus on the launch. Don’t want Briar lifting a damn finger when it comes to that.

She’s been through enough lately and we need to show her that we’re… ”

Mads silenced was something I’d never seen before. His smile faltered, disappeared, and he just stared through the doorway. It came back though seconds later, twice as bright.

“Well, good morning, sweetheart. Looks like you had a…” As I appeared behind him, I saw the matching bite marks on their necks. Briar clutched the sheet to her chest, the white contrasting prettily with the flush in her cheeks. “A very good night.”

“Not lifting a finger?” Our mate rallied quickly, stepping free of the bed and stalking forward, naked and proud as a queen. “That’s never going to happen. I get you’ve got this whole chivalrous code thing happening, but if I’m going to be a member of this pack, it’ll be as an equal team member.”

More than equal, I wanted to say, but my mouth remained closed.

Mads lifted one arm, letting her move into the doorway, right before both hands slapped down either side of her head.

He had her trapped, something that had me shifting closer.

Her smile and his, that had my hands relaxing from the fists I’d unconsciously formed.

That and her scent made clear she wasn’t upset by him looming over her.

“You’ll never be equal.” The tension was back at Mads’ words. “Because you’re always going to be the most important part of our pack.” One hand came to rest on her chest. “The heart of it. Without you, we’d have been squabbling with each other until the end of our days.”

“Care to tell me more about that in the shower?” she asked, then ducked under his arm, quickly walking towards the bathroom. Mads followed hot on her heels, my eyes following the two of them until they disappeared behind a door.

“Holy shit…” Jace peered at the bite mark on his neck in the bedroom mirror, and it was then I felt the vicious bite of jealousy’s jaws on my skin. “She marked me up good.”

With a swallow, I remembered the lesson that had been impressed upon me when I was a kid.

Losing hurt like fuck. More for me than my brothers, that had become clear.

My fathers were not good men, but they did impress upon me the importance of being a good sport.

If you couldn’t congratulate someone on their own win, your own would be pretty hollow when it came.

“You deserve that honour.” In the mirror I could see the two of us, one blond, one dark, and my hand went to Jace’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “Now…” I heard a muffled giggle from the bathroom. “I think we need to get up and make clear that yesterday wasn’t a one-off thing.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice.” His nod of approval was a relief because it meant for once we were of the same mind. “We’ll leave Mads here, because…” Jace’s grin was bright as he looked at the doorway. “He might earn his own mating mark this morning.”

Leaving me on the outer. It was a place I knew well.

Before it was a lonely place., as I was kept isolated from my brothers to ensure I had mastery over them, but how did I tell them I didn’t want to be there anymore?

That just as Briar had said, she wanted a team, not a hierarchy, and me? If I was honest, I wanted the same.

I just didn’t know how to step into that circle, forcing people to make space for me.

We got dressed, eschewing a shower, because whatever was happening in the bathroom couldn’t be interrupted. Once we got into the car, Jace grew serious, looking across at me.

“She’ll choose you too, y’know. Like, after the bullshit at Moon River, I didn’t think…

” That grin was back, but it was softer now and I’m pretty sure I knew why.

Afterglow. Happiness hung around him like a sweet-scented cloud and I just wanted to steal a breath of it.

“I didn’t think it’d happen for me and it did. ”

“Maybe,” I replied, not wanting to give voice to my concerns. Hope was a tiny little flame in me, flickering like mad, ready to be blown out. Instead, I had my hands cupped around it, desperately trying to protect it. “So do you need anything for the rest of the vessel repairs?”

“Coffee?” he groaned and I changed course, heading towards the nearest McDonald’s drive thru. “And some more gold dust.”

“You got it.”

I dropped Jace off at the warehouse, waving back to Seb as he appeared in the doorway.

The route to the art supplies place was punched in and then I was off.

Buying up all the gold dust they had and with a recommendation of other places in the city where I might find some more if we ran out, I walked back to the car, only for my phone to start ringing again.

Fishing it out of my pocket, I looked at the screen, hoping it was Briar or my brothers.

Anyone other than my mother.

I stared at the screen, unable to move my thumb to reject or accept the call. Instead, I sat in the car, marinating in shame and hating the fact that’s how I responded.

In my head, there were two Mums. The poor, wounded omega who was so vulnerable that she needed to be protected at all costs.

One who couldn’t rely on her mates to do so, forcing me to step up.

It was a suffocating feeling. As a teenager, I was thrust into the role of becoming a surrogate mate, focussing on her happiness, her safety, far more than my fathers ever bothered to.

Every time I tried to maintain some kind of separation from her, she’d step right over that boundary, enfolding me in a heavy cloud of floral neediness.

Reject the call , I told myself, my heart racing faster and faster. Tap the red button and…

As if sensing my rebellion, the call ended unanswered. That left me holding to the heavy weight of guilt and relief, the two making my guts sour.

“Oh yeah…” Jace grabbed the gold powder when I appeared beside the table, holding the vials up to the light. “That’s the good stuff. So you’re handling the logistics of the launch?”

Hearing my brother suggest that I do something was a welcome surprise.

“Checked in with Emma as I walked in,” I said. “She’ll be free in about ten minutes.” With a sharp breath, I looked around the warehouse. “Mads and Briar haven’t made it in?”

“Not yet.” He smirked as he bent to mix more glue in with the gold powder. “Shit! I should’ve got you to get more epoxy.” I tossed the packets I picked up from the hardware store on the way over here. “Fuck, you’re a legend.”

The keys and my phone landed on the desk as I emptied my pockets and of course, that was when another call came through. Jace looked at the screen and frowned before staring up at me.

“Mum’s still calling you?”

She didn’t call him every hour on the hour? I couldn’t seem to bring myself to ask. There was no good answer. Mum either was harassing my brothers the same way.

Or she wasn’t.

Jace stabbed the red button with far more ease than I managed to, the relief washing over me, only to be dispelled as he unlocked my phone.

“Holy shit.” Sometimes it takes someone else to see the magnitude of a problem. He scrolled through my call logs, all the voicemails left, then navigated over to the messages. “Gideon…”

His questioning gaze had me shrinking back, wanting to get up and walk the fuck away from this conversation. I couldn’t, though. Instead, I was pinned to the spot by his silent interrogation.

Not so silent.

“I blocked them as soon as we left for the city,” he said, a small frown forming. “There’s nothing I wanted to hear from them.”

So why didn’t I? That was his unspoken question.

“I…” My hands rose and fell. Responses were formulated, but I dismissed each one. “I obviously didn’t.”

His judgement, his anger, I could’ve coped with any of that. A hand on my arm, giving it a squeeze, right before he pulled away and went to work. I watched him mutely go through my phone and find my contact list.

“Guess it’s not always smooth sailing, being the golden child.” His finger hovered over the screen. “I’m gonna block them, unless you say otherwise.”

“Please.”

I barely croaked that out and he nodded quickly, working to do just that as well as erase all evidence of our parents from my phone. It was only then that I could let out a shuddering breath, loosening my grip on the table’s edge.

“Gideon, you’ve gotta talk to us about that shit. They’re our parents too. Who knows their bullshit better than your own brothers?”

“I know.” I nodded, then turned to face him. “It’s just… really fucking hard.”

“All the best things are, brother.” He stared into my eyes. “You told me that.”

“Using my words against me?”

I smiled weakly, trying to use his ploys to defuse the gods awful tension.

“Nope.” He jerked me to my feet, and to my shock, his arms went around me in a rough hug.

We hadn’t done this since we were kids when I found him crying in the yard, having fallen out of a tree.

My arms moved far more slowly, the movement rusty, but when I hugged him back, it felt like he was just as good at repairing things inside me as he was the damn pots.

“We’re done with that shit, remember?” He pulled back to meet my gaze. “A pack, remember?”

“A pack.” With a nod, it felt like the last thing that was out of alignment snicked back into place. “Thanks, brother.”