Page 8 of The Other Side of Paradise (Story of Paradise #2)

Uh-huh… that was loaded. Sounded like she was trying to get out on a technicality. I scrunched up my face, especially when she kept staring off into space. “You’re thinking really deeply about it.”

“I’m trying to remember when you work today,” she said. “Didn’t you say it was eight? You’re going to be late.”

She was so lying, but I’d let her have it. “I start at noon today.”

“Oh. I’m probably thinking of some other front desk girl I like better.”

“Okay, rude,” I laughed, sitting up taller as she brought our coffees over to the table, and that was when the bathroom door popped open and I looked over to where Ryan Bell came out of the bathroom, her hair damp, looking remarkably fresh for just getting out of a disastrous crash-and-burn of a breakup.

She was so imprinting on Brooklyn. Couldn’t be too sad as long as the hot bartender taking her rock-climbing was around, I figured.

I did not get all the appeal of Brooklyn.

“Hi, Allison,” she said as she walked into the kitchen dining room with us, a bright smile on her face. “Am I ever glad to not be the only one harassing Brooklyn for food right now.”

I threw my hands up. “Oh my god, not you too. I came here because I forgot my name badge!”

She beamed at my coffee and back at me. “That doesn’t look much like a name badge, now, does it?”

They really were a painfully good match. I rolled my eyes, looking at Brooklyn. “You found someone as bad as you are…”

Ryan joined us at the table, and I guess, honestly, after a minute, I couldn’t fault Brooklyn for wanting to make a move on this girl, too.

Not that I was into her—she was Brooklyn’s age, a full seven years older than me—but mostly just that this whole thing was very, very mutual.

The two of them went back and forth trading playful comments and teasing, with me and with each other, and it felt like Ryan had been a part of the group since forever.

And damn, were they flirting. Ryan made a comment about how Brooklyn had been so good to her, and Brooklyn nudged her side like an obnoxious couple, teasing her with a flirtatious little compliment me more, and Ryan beamed and said,

“I appreciate somebody who communicates their wants and needs clearly. So for a compliment… this looks delicious.”

Ugh. They might as well have just fucked on the table.

I’d have taken my work jacket and given them some space.

I should have been bored—I’d been privy to enough of Brooklyn’s flirting with guests to be over it—but I was horrified, disgusted, and appalled to realize that the tight feeling pulling in my gut was that I was, uh… well, I was kinda jealous.

Despite my better judgment, I wanted to flirt with a cute girl like that.

I wanted to have one of the guests hang out at my place and share breakfast and cute little comments and just…

ugh. I mean— one of the guests as in a general sense of like, someone who was around, not like, a specific guest. I hadn’t even been thinking about Stella, not particularly.

I mean, I’d only let my mind wander a little bit.

Gavin’s whole thing still bounced around in my head. Maybe it would always be temporary. And maybe there was a big difference between someone who was leaving in a week and somebody who wasn’t, but… maybe in some ways, it wasn’t an important difference.

Maybe I just didn’t want the last girl I’d kissed to be Ellie. Just wished I could wash my hands of that whole deal.

So I guess that was what compelled me to stick around after Ryan had left—off to confront her family, apparently. I didn’t envy her. Except that she was absolutely going to get it on soon with, seemingly, the girl of her dreams.

I leaned back against the front door after Ryan had left, giving Brooklyn a loaded smile, and I said, “So, she’s cool, huh?”

Brooklyn sighed, perching on the corner of the table, giving me a weary smile that said she knew full well what I was getting at. “Yes, she is cool,” she said. “And yes, I do find her attractive. That doesn’t mean anything. You know the situation.”

Please. I couldn’t believe even Brooklyn Sterling was going the route of oh, she’s just being friendly, it doesn’t mean anything. I huffed. “She’s interested in you, you know,” I said, deciding to put subtlety well and truly in the ground, and she arched her eyebrows.

“Oh, you’ve decided that, have you?”

I gestured in the direction Ryan had left. “It’s not like she’s hung up on that dickwad. I think she’s more than happy to move on and forget about him entirely.”

She hung her head with a wry laugh. “And… I should be the one to help her forget , I assume is what you’re getting at.”

I put my hands up. “What? Did you see the little looks she kept giving you out of the corner of her eye?”

She quivered an eyebrow at me, a curious little look in her eye that said she hadn’t had a clue.

Guess even she missed stuff sometimes when she was seriously thirsting.

After a second, she sighed, looking away.

“Look, if she makes a move, I’m not turning her down.

But I’m not making the first move on her. ”

I slumped back against the door, relaxing into the wood.

If she at least put the pieces together that Ryan was waiting for an opportunity to jump her bones, I guess that wasn’t too bad.

“Okay, okay,” I said. “I guess I wouldn’t, either, in your situation.

It probably feels a little weird. But just…

let her know that you’re available. I bet it’d help her anyway. ”

She gave me a weird laugh, looking at me like I’d grown a second head. “You, Allison Holt,” she said, “are telling me to have more casual flings. Did the world start turning backwards overnight?”

Oh, god. I felt my face burn, and I froze up for a second, before—well—I guess—ah, fuck it. I stood up taller, puffing out my chest with all the confidence I didn’t have, and I made myself take the plunge and say, “I’m gonna try it.”

She blinked once. “With Ryan? I think she’s already said she’s not interested.”

Ugh—not what I needed while I was trying to bare my heart. “Not with Ryan,” I said. “Oh my god. Just… while I’m here this summer. I want to try doing something casual with someone.”

She studied me for a minute before, a smile suddenly spilling out over her features, she said, “Yeah? Decided to be just like your role model Brooklyn Sterling?”

“Not in a million years,” I muttered, looking away.

“I don’t think I’d do it as a regular thing.

But I want to do it at least… at least once,” I mumbled, still feeling my face prickling.

“Just to know. Plus, like you said, it’s just…

putting so much pressure on myself to get everything perfect… it’s, like, suffocating.”

She smiled. “Proud of you.”

“Ew.”

“I know you hate me saying so,” she laughed, “but, it probably isn’t for me, but I want to go in with an open mind and see what it can show me about myself , that’s a pretty mature mindset.”

I rolled my eyes, looking away, trying to pout over the smile that tugged on my features. “Yeah, yeah. I think I also just want to see if I… can,” I said, voice falling off to a mumble.

She raised her eyebrows. “Like, if you can handle doing casual without getting serious about it?”

“No, just… just, like…” Ugh. I shouldn’t have even started this conversation.

I shouldn’t have made this resolution. I shouldn’t have come to the island.

I should have lived every second of my life differently so I didn’t have to face this particular subject right now.

I mumbled awkwardly. “I dunno,” I said. “I just feel like I’m, like, fat and ugly and I have a whiny, annoying personality.

Casual dating feels like something you can pull when you’re hot. ”

She nodded once. “So, all the times you’re talking about me sleeping all around the place, secretly you’re just telling me I’m devastatingly hot.”

“That isn’t what I said.”

She laughed, eyes bright. “Plenty of girls would love to have you,” she said. “I mean, c’mon. Look at your little dimples. Girls will go wild. We’ll get you a hot date before the week is out.”

I almost had a heart attack. “The week? ” I said, fumbling over my words. “I said before the summer ends.”

She shrugged, like this was all so easy. God, it probably was for her. I was going to be sick. “Shoot for the moon, and all that.”

I bristled. “How many gay girls do you even think are out here right now, anyway?”

She gave me a knowing laugh, dropping into a seat at the table, grinning ear to ear. “Oh, Allison ,” she said. “The things I could tell you. During tourist season? A whole hell of a lot. Not all of them are open about it.”

Ugh—what, did she want me to try it with a straight girl? I mean—Stella was probably straight and I was, well… I scowled. “I’m not sleeping with a closet case here with a husband.”

“Oh, it’s usually the gal pal bunches anyway. Like that sorority group that came through earlier—all of that aggressive heterosexual energy, someone there is just performing it. I guarantee you at least one of them masturbates to lesbian erotica and keeps it a secret.”

Oh, god. I wondered if that was true. That out on this island right now, there was a queer girl who would absolutely be interested in me showing them… the ropes. There was something deeply, desperately wrong with me, because the thought was, well, uh, hot.

I mean, fuck me, that was probably because I was thinking of Stella as that girl. I wondered if she masturbated to lesbian erotica in secret. Jesus, I’d actually die here right now if I thought about that any further.

That was probably the biggest reason I needed to do something about this. Desperately needed to find some other girl to distract myself with before I experienced spontaneous human combustion fantasizing about Stella Valerie Bell.

“Yeah,” I said, keeping my voice casual, “I’d do it.”

She smiled wider. “Then I’m on it,” she said. “We’ll find you a girl. Possibly one who needs a little awakening.”

Stella still came to mind. Jesus Christ, I had issues. Did she need a little awakening?

I needed an awakening. Someone to shake me by the shoulders so I woke up and stopped daydreaming about a clearly unattainable woman. I felt my face burning, and I tried to keep it cool as I said, “Cool, yeah, works for me. Just don’t expect this to become a thing.”

She laughed. “Genuinely no idea what to expect right now. Can’t wait to find out.”

Jesus, yeah, me neither. I doubted it involved Stella. Despite what my wild wandering mind wanted.