Page 25 of The Order: Rise of the New Empire (Order #4)

Chapter twenty-four

Forest

H our after hour, the feeling of his nightmares infiltrating his mind pulls me from my sleep, making it impossible to close my eyes without feeling both mine and her heart race. Trying to cover my ears with a pillow, I stare at the key on my nightstand, unsure how much strength I can carry in his presence.

Starting with Lily and ending with me, his mind is a tormented mess, each dream more horrid than the last.

Knowing damn well he is shaking, barely able to hold it together, I bite my inner cheek, nearly losing my breath once her tiny foot collides with my ribcage, urging me to go to her father the only way she knows how.

Grabbing my stomach, I let out a sharp breath, shaking uncontrollably.

"And what if I can't leave his side? What if I give Elyon a reason to be suspicious of me?" I question to the dark void of my room, knowing all she can do is listen.

Not getting a response, I roll my hand over the skin of my stomach, only stopping once she has settled down.

"I'm trying," I whisper. "I'm trying to keep you both safe."

Now hearing Xavier's yells roll through the hallway, the dreams have turned on him, making it impossible for him to pull himself from his nightmarish hell.

Damnit.

Swiping the key from my nightstand, I Winnow in front of his door, shakily holding his key as I force its way into his lock, turning until I hear the click.

Feeling that familiar growth of warmth in my stomach, I can't help but smile.

Urging his door open, I quickly slip inside, relocking the handle, letting my eyes adjust to the dark space, his room a mangled mess.

Laying on his bed, he wears no shirt, his hands covering his head, his body curled into fetal position.

Pulled deep into sleep, he yells as if a rope is around his neck, clawing at his skin, his voice filled with enough pain to almost break my heart into a million pieces.

Carefully moving closer, the bottom of my silk gown drags across the floor, my bump more visible in material this confining.

Creeping closer to his bed, I try and rationalize what I am doing, tapping my fingers against my thighs.

"What am I doing?" I whisper, trying to think of a good reason for coming in here.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Reaching my hand out toward the man, I brace myself to run my fingers through his curls-

Feeling his hand wrap around my wrist, I am tugged forward, his eyes snapping open.

"You can convince the whole world your act is real," he whispers. "Not me."

Unable to stop him, Xavier's power is at an all-time high, his hand pulling me toward the mattress with little to no resistance. Feeling my back graze the soft sheets, he moves over me, being extra cautious of the bump, his lips latching onto my neck.

Planting gentle kisses up my neck, the way he handles me is far less aggressive, his touch meant to make me feel pleasure rather than pain.

Trailing his kisses up my neck, he travels to my jaw, then up to my lips, only stopping once we have been forced to make eye contact.

"You want me to stop?" he questions, genuinely seeking answer.

Even the world's greatest liar would have no way to say yes right now.

Feeling whole, I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him just a bit closer.

"I have dreamt of you every night since I left you," I whisper, sobbing halfway through the sentence.

Kissing my forehead, he travels down to my nose, stopping before his lips can touch mine.

"My love for you is not meant to be felt in one lifetime," Xavier whispers, pressing his lips onto my own, before traveling back down my neck. "For as long as I draw breath, and well after the sun has devoured the Earth, my soul will remain entwined with yours and guide me into the next life."

Staring at him with complete admiration, we lock eyes, his chin resting on my chest.

"I want you to touch me," I whisper, rolling my thumb over his cheek. "And never fucking stop."

Seeing a shift in the man's eyes, he looms over me, his hands fumbling with my gown, impatient enough to rip it down its front, exposing what he can see of my body in the moon's light. Latching his lips onto my breast, the nipples are extra sensitive, his tongue gently swirling around each bud, not daring to bite down. Letting out a breathy moan, he gently massages the other breast, taking his time on both, before gravitating his kisses back up my body.

Reaching his hand down, he finds my warmth, his fingers gently running along the folds, a grin spanning across his face once he realizes how wet I already am for him. Working slowly, he allows his fingers to slip inside of me, taking his time with each pump, kissing my neck once my back arches into the touch, his thumb slowly rolling over my clit each time he works a little harder.

Feeling his length brush against my leg, only one thought is in my mind.

"X-Xavier-" I say through a moan, his head snapping up toward me. "I need to feel all of you right now. I need to be with you." I mutter, his hand carefully pulling away from me.

In most scenarios, he would start a powerplay, making me beg for it.

This touch is different.

This touch is caring.

Getting onto the bed, he slides his pants off, exposing his eager length, my mind racking itself with how it will feel after spending so much time apart. Dragging me to him, he settled me on his lap, my arms wrapping around his neck.

"Go slow, baby," he whispers, running his thumbs along my sides as he holds me. "I only want you feeling pleasure," he smiles, my mind mentally capturing the genuine happiness on his face.

Bracing myself on my knees, I line his tip up with my entrance, slowly allowing myself to sit down, both me and him letting out a groan of pleasure once I have hit his base. Stretching around him, he got me prepared for the worst, the feeling of him inside of me something I never knew I could miss so much.

Watching the gleam in both of our eyes grow, the energy flooding between us is undeniable, our veins flooding with light, my hips starting a slow rock.

Guiding my hips into the rock, we both become a symphony of moans, each roll of my hips just another blissful second of connection with the man. Tangling my hands in his curls, he looks at me with admiration, our foreheads pressed to one another.

"You're so goddamn beautiful," he whispers through a groan, his hands holding me a bit tighter.

"I love you so much, Xavier," I whisper, holding him as close as I possibly can.

"All I know is your love, Forest," he mutters, pressing his lips to my neck. "Without it, there is no light."

Slamming my lips into his, we become a tangled mess, my hips rolling more aggressively, feeling the pulse between my legs. Sliding his tongue into my mouth, we both fight for dominance, his hand moving down toward my clit, gently rubbing the sensitive bud. Moaning into the man's mouth, I feel the impending need to finish consuming me, my body clenching around his length.

"Finish for me love," he whispers, his lips pressed to my ear. "I want all of it."

Slumping forward, his fingers give me one last rub, my release coating him as I bury my moan in his shoulder. Clenching my hips, he finishes soon after, his release filling me, the rock of my hips slowly dying down. Carefully helping me off of his length, he lays me on my back, his hand grabbing my torn gown, cleaning me up with careful strokes.

Running my fingers through his hair as he works, he looks angelic in this lighting, his eyes full of light. Pausing his work, he eyes the small bump taking up my stomach, his eyes latched to the sight before him.

Running his hand over the bump, her gentle little kicks accelerate, his eyes snapping to me.

"That was her?" he smiles, a genuine light in his eyes.

"She only does that when she wants to be near her dad," I smile, both of us running our hands over my stomach.

Pressing his lips to my stomach, he kisses gently, his eyes peering up at me.

"Your mom, little one, is one of the strongest women I know," he whispers. "But don't tell her I said that," he grins. "It might go to her head."

Nudging him away, he kisses my hand, both of us a smiling mess.

"But you should know, we will love you so deeply, you will never question what it means to feel true love," he mutters, another kick hitting my lower stomach.

Hissing, I glare at him.

"Be nice to your mother," he scolds. "She can still feel that," he laughs, pressing the side of his head to my stomach.

"Your momma will teach you how to paint, and I can teach you how to cook," he smiles.

"Pancakes," I reiterate, his nose scrunching as he looks up at me.

"The best damn pancakes in the world."

"You will never know what it means to feel pain," I whisper, rubbing both my stomach, and the side of Xavier's face. "You will never feel the pain your father and I endured."

Kissing my stomach again, Xavier moves away from my stomach, gathering me in his arms, pulling a blanket over the both of us.

Pressing my head to his chest, I listen to his strong heart mix with the sound of her own.

Kissing the top of my head, he sighs.

"My whole family is with me now," he whispers. "Both my girls."

Nuzzling into his chest, the conversation I shared with Fallan eats me alive.

"No matter what happens, Xavier, we keep her safe, even if it means-"

"Whatever you are about to suggest, Forest, it better not involve you in harm's way," he whispers, holding me a bit tighter. "We always find a way."

I have found a way.

One that ensures they live even if I don't.

Kicking again, we both smile, our hands gravitating toward my stomach.

"I've been thinking," I whisper, tears slipping past my eyes as I turn to look at the man I love so dearly.

"Her name, it should be Lily," I smile, his eyes lighting to life.

"Lily Katiana Drew Evermoore," I reiterate, the lives lost to make it here all bound to the name.

Seeing his own tears slip from his eyes, I wipe them away, kissing his salty cheeks.

"Lily?" he questions, her kick one of the strongest I have felt.

Slumping into his chest, I take a sharp breath, both of us letting out a laugh.

"I think your baby girl likes that," I whisper, his lips pressing to my temple.

"She changes everything," Xavier whispers, keeping us close. "You girls change everything I have deemed important in my life. If anything were to happen to you both-"

"Nothing will happen to our girl," I whisper, covering his mouth before he can spiral.

"We are both safe. We are both here. You will always have her, and she will always have you."

Looking me over, he shakes his head. Yanking my wrist away from his mouth, he presses his forehead to mine.

"Let me hold you until you both have fallen fast asleep."

Not arguing with him, I double check the locked door from afar, resting in the crook of his arm, his arm wrapping around me, keeping me on my side.

Kissing the back of my neck, the warmth radiating around the both of us is the most comfort I have ever felt.

"I love you," he whispers, kissing the back of my neck. "I love you more than anything," he starts, grazing his hand over my stomach. "Almost anything."

Turning my head toward him, I plant a kiss on his lips, pressing my forehead to his.

"Your love isn't my greatest gift," I whisper. "And now, I carry your love with me always." I smile, Lily's energy finally coming down.

As a complete family, we all settle into the comforting embrace of sleep, each one of us having the first restful sleep we have experienced in months.

Borrowed time and stolen moments.

These are what I choose to hold onto.