Page 15 of The One With the Scoundrel of a Duke (Wicked Widows’ League #31)

R ECOGNIZING THAT THE LAST forty-eight hours had been an emotional tsunami for her, Audra sat by the fire in her room mulling over the events.

She had barely come to grips with facing her fears and beginning to live her life for herself again when she was faced with Lucas.

He loved her? How? At first it had all been a pursuit of pleasure, but that had rapidly upgraded to love, at least on his side.

And the sex—God, she had to fan her face just thinking about it—had been incredible.

Obviously her body was craving to do that again.

If that hadn’t been enough to manage, they had to stumble upon the mother and child in the river, and of course she felt compelled to save them.

Nearly her whole adult life had been a mushed up muddled mess of guilt that she couldn’t save Hugo when it mattered, and now she had partially helped save the mother and her boy.

Audra’s heart felt a pang of emotion knowing she had at least been helpful in that situation.

But then Lucas had had to rescue her. She recalled that moment of panic in the river when she thought she might not ever touch her feet to the shore again. It had all happened in a flash. But she could see the moment from Hugo’s eyes for the first time.

She knew he loved her and that she had loved him with her whole heart. When he passed away, her heart had shriveled up and been whittled down to nothing. Dust.

The Widows’ League had been crucial in restoring some confidence in her. Those stays at the manor had been life-sustaining. And her sisters…her cousins…her family. They had all been her support when she needed them most.

But in that river she had felt alone. Desperate. Until Lucas called out to her and she looked into his eyes.

She knew how Hugo felt.

If he had been given a chance, he would have spent the rest of his life loving her.

The same way—nay, more so—than even before.

Devastatingly, he hadn’t been given that chance to live and love.

But he had loved. They had loved each other.

And then…their time was up. Audra never thought it was possible to love again.

But with Lucas…her heart leaped at his name…that was her second chance. She could feel it, but she could also sense the mounting fear. What if she was wrong? Worse, what if she was right and it was true love—for a second time—but she lost him as well?

And then she thought about Hugo again. If he had been given the chance, he would have loved with his whole being.

Why should she deny herself? Why should she cower thinking she didn’t deserve love again?

Why would she live alone in grief when she could love again?

The grief would always be there. She would always honor her first love, but there was no universal rule stating that love couldn’t happen twice in a lifetime.

And if love was truly the most powerful force on earth, didn’t love conquer death?

Her heart broke at the decision before her.

Not a moment before she was about to unleash a torrent of tears, a knock sounded at the door.

With a quick sniffle, she invited whoever it was to enter her room.

Only, it wasn’t a single whoever, it was many.

Her sisters, cousins, and family friend, Juliet, came in.

Juliet had become close family friends since marrying Ryker and visiting with the family last Christmas.

She had missed the wedding, but was here now for the house party, and the sisters and cousins couldn’t be happier.

It was like she had found her family with them, and they had found a new sister with her.

The last to enter was Freya, and when Audra saw her, she jumped to her feet and ran over to her with tears in her eyes.

So many words were exchanged and embraces muffled between the eight women that it took a while for the tears and voices to settle down.

And although Freya’s eyes were puffy with tears, there was an unmistakable gleam in them.

“Are you happy?” Audra choked out.

“I’m so happy,” Freya whispered in a hoarse voice.

“Thank you, Audra,” —she turned to look at each one of her sisters and cousins— “and all of you, for believing in me. For letting me be myself. For letting me run.” She wiped a stray tear from her eye.

“I didn’t know if I could, or how I could, trust my heart. But I have found my true love now.”

“You have?” Audra asked.

“Tobias,” Freya answered, and the girls around her squealed with We couldn’t be happier for you and You deserve it .

“He’s the love of my life, and once I knew, I couldn’t not see it anymore.

Though it took a few tries,” she said with a chuckle.

“I’ll tell you all about it later, but for now, tell me what’s happened here. ” She eyed Paulina with a quirked brow.

“I got married to Broderick!” Paulina couldn’t contain her joy, and all the sisters erupted again in jubilance, despite witnessing the event themselves.

Amused and delighted, Freya looked around the circle of women, “Did anyone else fall in love or get married while I was away for roughly forty-eight hours?”

Audra could feel the eyes on her. Of course some of them had seen what had transpired at the river.

It had been in plain sight for many to see.

No matter how distracting Wallace in smallclothes was, he couldn’t attract all the attention.

But now that she thought of it, thank God Wallace had been such a sight to see, else there would have been quite a few more questioning eyes pointed her way.

For a moment the women were quiet, and Audra knew they were waiting for her to say something. She just wasn’t sure what to say exactly. Everything had happened so quickly and she still wasn’t sure about it all.

And maybe she didn’t need to explain everything just yet, her sisters and cousins probably understood enough. The hugs passing between them were fortifying her. She knew, success or failure, they would be there to support her.

Sensing her emotions, Phyllis hugged her.

“We’re here for you, Audra. Just like we were there for Freya, and just like we’ll be there for each other.

Always,” Phyllis said. “You were all there for me when I was struggling to understand what was happening with Stephen last Christmas, and now I have the love of my life. I couldn’t have done it without you.

All of you.” She squeezed Paulina’s arm in particular.

Paulina responded. “We’ve all been there for each other, whether directly or not. Even Juliet is part of the family now.” Juliet blushed at the mention of her name.

Audra felt such reassurance knowing that no matter what happened, she had family and friends to fall back on. But the question wasn’t what she wanted to fall back on, it was what she wanted to step into.

And that was where the hurdle lay.

“What’s going on with you and Lucas?” Alice finally asked, breaking the silence.

“I don’t know,” Audra shook her head.

“You don’t know?” Florence asked tenderly. “Or you don’t think you’re ready for it?”

Audra grasped onto that lifeline. Her youngest sister could be so wise at times. But even as she grasped onto it, she could feel the lump in her throat. “I just don’t know if I’m ready for it.”

And she really wasn’t one hundred percent sure if she was ready or even if she ever would be perfectly ready, but she also acknowledged the stakes involved. So when Philomena asked the next question, Audra already knew her answer. “But what if you’re not ready to lose it?”