Page 84 of The Omega Exchange: Omnibus (The Exchange)

Chapter One

Melody

Icurl deeper into my bed and wrap the fuzzy blankets tighter around me. My tiny apartment doesn’t have a nest, but my bedroom is small enough that most of the time I can make do.

It’s strange, but I always make my own bird-style nest on top of my mattress when it’s a tough day.

Today qualifies.

I’m not sure why I thought Ben might call or show up.

It’s only Valentine’s Day.

Then again, I haven’t seen my ex since Christmas, so I have no idea why my system convinced me he’d show up to offer some grand romantic gesture.

I don’t even want that, not really. Coming out of a ten-year-long relationship is complicated.

I bury my face in the pillow and breathe through the tightness in my chest. It’s really hard, but I’ll hate myself if I give into the loneliness.

I can’t count the number of times I’ve almost broken down and called him.

Part of me is desperate to tell him exactly what I think of him, which isn’t much.

The rest of me is still in love with the asshole.

Being an omega is ridiculous. He’s never treated me right, and yet my system craves his acceptance and approval.

Growing up I was told that being an omega is a gift. Everyone went on about how rare we are and how packs spend their entire life searching for their omega, and when they find them, they love and cherish them above all else.

What a load of crap.

I’ve never once felt loved or cherished.

But I did see the way the alphas at The Exchange in North Carolina looked after their omegas.

It would be a blessing to find a relationship like that.

Being hung up on my ex is getting me exactly nowhere.

I know he’ll never be able to treat me like the alphas at The Exchange did their omegas.

I’m pretty sure it’s because I didn’t demand it from the beginning, and now it’s too late to go back.

This is why I have to start fresh. I wish The Exchange had found an immediate opening for me. It would be way easier being there than it is being here alone.

They didn’t have a spot for me, so they sent me back to Texas to wait for a location to have a space open up. Initially I hoped to find a match before heading to one of the franchise locations, but the closer I get to my heat, the less likely that becomes.

At this point, I told them I’ll take any opening at any location, even if I won’t have an initial match. Scent cards aren’t an exact science, and who knows what might happen in person.

I’m not willing to risk going through a heat here at home.

Omegas who try to ride out a heat without alphas are in for a world of pain and suffering that’s difficult to comprehend. I’ve handled days of that on my own before, and even the thought of doing it again makes me curl up tighter into the fetal position.

I’m so damn lonely, but there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

I just have to hold on for the spot in New England.

Connor Hastings is the owner of the North Carolina location. He told me that he’d keep searching for somewhere with an immediate spot, but at most, I’ll be heading to dreary New England in just under two weeks.

I can hold on that long.

I should have stayed in bed and pretended to be asleep. Not that I could have slept through the ridiculously loud banging or the obnoxious sound of Ben’s exhaust as he pulled up.

I’m questioning a lot of my life choices at the moment.

“Come on, Mel,” my ex-boyfriend says, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Aren’t you going to let me in?”

Ben gives me the same chagrined smile that he does every time he screws up. I’m very familiar with this particular look. He’s used it regularly over the last ten years.

The cowboy boots he always wears rock against the porch, and it’s like my eyes are drawn to them. Maybe it’s because they’re so familiar.

We’ve had this same showdown many times. I guess I’m the one who changed. I’m not backing down.

I can’t.

No matter how much my heart hurts, I can’t continue to do this. Otherwise, I’m afraid I’ll completely lose myself in the process.

“There’s no reason for you to be here.” I jab a finger toward his truck parked in the driveway. “I told you before we left North Carolina, but I’ll say it again. We are done. Please leave and don’t come back.”

My chest aches, and I say a little prayer that I can keep it together until he leaves. He had the audacity to show up on Valentine’s Day with no gift and no apology.

I’m not sure why I’m surprised. I think maybe I’m more annoyed at myself for letting it hurt my feelings. I know better. What I can’t seem to figure out is how to shut off ten years’ worth of emotions.

“Melody,” he says, rolling up his shirt sleeve. “Come on, honey. I made a mistake.”

I scoff because making a mistake is forgetting to take out the trash. A mistake is missing the electric bill and paying it when the truck shows up to cut off your power.

What Ben did was straight up disrespectful, and unfortunately, it wasn’t outside his normal character.

I believe human beings are allowed to screw up and it isn’t something that should be held against them, but he’s never going to be the man I need him to be.

I’ve spent so long trying to be a better girlfriend and the perfect omega that I lost myself along the way. I’m never going to be enough for him to treat me the way I deserve to be treated.

My lower lip quivers as my eyes burn.

If I let him, he’ll continue to use me up until there really is nothing left. I take a deep breath and steel myself against the barrage of emotions.

There have been good times over the years, and at this very moment my system is trying to convince me the bad times don’t exist.

I think it’s the fear of the unknown and maybe a little heartbreak that I wasted so much time on a relationship that wasn’t all that great. If things don’t work out, all the pain and suffering meant nothing.

I read something that said people hang on for too long because your brain registers investment versus loss.

Basically, the more you put into something, the higher the value your brain puts on the return. You’ve put in so much effort that your system isn’t willing to take that loss.

When a relationship is new, you’re more likely to walk away.

It’s easier because you haven’t invested so much into it.

But once years go by, even if the other person’s behavior has declined significantly, you’re still more likely to try to fix it than you are to move on since starting fresh is accepting you’ve forfeited your investment.

I don’t know if I’m even remembering it correctly, but I do know when I read that article, something clicked.

If Ben had started out doing half the crap he’s done the last year or two, I would have walked away, but it was a gradual progression.

It slowly got worse, and that conditioned me to think it was because I wasn’t doing enough.

“Bye, Ben,” I whisper, spinning around.

I don’t look back. He always gets me with his puppy dog eyes and those damn straight white teeth of his.

I yank open the screen door. I’m almost inside when he grabs my wrist.

His spicy scent floods my nostrils, and I fight the feeling of familiarity.

My eyes ache as they squeeze shut. A ragged breath escapes as I do my damndest to hold back the sob.

It’s hard to accept that all those years were for nothing.

It’s even harder to acknowledge that I’ve always loved him more than he loved me. We both know it, but he’s used that to his advantage for the last time.

“I already apologized,” he says, framing my back. “Exactly how long are you going to hold it against me?”

My entire body goes rigid.

That’s the thing.

He didn’t apologize.

He never does.

He’ll talk in circles and belittle my feelings until I just give up because he’s an alpha and I’m an omega. His designation is always going to be more strong-willed than mine.

I hate confrontation and arguing, which he knows. He’ll steamroll right over me if I let him.

“I’m done. I don’t know how else to explain it.” I pull my hand free. “You spent ten years promising me a future you never intended to deliver. I can’t listen to you lie to me anymore.”

I take a few steps inside and grab the actual door. I won’t be able to shut it all the way until Ben gets out of the way, but I still prepare to slam it in his face if I have to.

I can’t let myself fall into his trap again.

“I need you to really think about what you’re doing here.” Ben stretches out a tanned hand, running his fingers over my cheek. “I’ve been in love with you since I was a teenager.”

“Is that right?” I stagger back. “That’s why you flirted with another omega right in front of me? Don’t even get me started on what you said to your brother. Get the hell out.” I pull the door as far as I can without slamming it into him. “Back up, Ben. I’m not messing around.”

My voice sounds hysterical even to my own ears. I need him to get the hell out of the way.

Somehow I always manage to forget how toxic we are when I’m lonely and missing him.

“Mel, everyone knows we’re going to end up together. You know how it goes. No alpha will look twice at you because they understand you’re mine.” He sighs like I’m being purposely difficult.

“That’s true enough,” I agree.

He’s right. He’s spent many years ensuring no other man will give me the time of day.

Unfortunately for me, the women in our small town do not give me the same courtesy.

An embarrassing sob escapes at the thought.

I’ve let him get away with so much garbage over the years that I can’t stand to think about it. It makes me resent myself for letting him treat me this way.

“That’s why I signed up for The Exchange. I wanted to be gone by the time you made it back to town, but I had to wait for a location to accept me. Not to mention you’ve been back for weeks and you didn’t even call, never bothered to show up.”

That just made it seem like I spent the last few weeks wishing he would, which I didn’t. It makes it easier to hate him when I don’t have to look at his face.

It’s harder when he’s close because my system craves his pheromones, but I won’t let myself give in again.

“I thought you’d reach out to apologize for the way you talked to me,” he says. “Mel, you’re over exaggerating everything. You know I love you.”

“Please move, or I will have to slam the door on you, and I don’t want to have to do that. If you’ve heard nothing else I’ve said over the years, hear me when I say this. I am done. I need you to leave.”

Ben’s jaw falls and he takes a step back. I carefully make sure the door doesn’t touch him as I close and lock it.

I bolt for my bed, but it isn’t far enough away to muffle his banging. He yells something like if I go to The Exchange then we’re done.

I roll my eyes.

I don’t think he really hears anything I say.

I crawl into my makeshift nest and pull a pillow over my face. I cry until he finally leaves and then a while after just for good measure.

I was going strong until he came over. It makes me hate him even more. It’s clear I’m not completely over him.

It’s crazy how another person can feel like a festering wound.