Page 6 of The Old Gals’ Bucket List

‘I need more time to think about it,’ Sandra said firmly.

She knew why her son was worried about moving away from her.

She understood it completely. But that didn’t mean she should uproot herself and live somewhere she didn’t want to live, and Don was speaking as if the apartment was her only option.

He’d obviously decided that’s where she was going to live and all he had to do was persuade her that it was the right decision.

‘You are going to live near us, aren’t you, Nanny?’ Kali asked. ‘Mummy and Daddy said you were.’ She looked beseechingly at Sandra.

‘We won’t be able to see you much if you don’t, and that will make us sad,’ Rana added, her voice wobbling a little. ‘We’ll miss you.’

They both fixed their eyes on her, waiting for her to assure them she would move with them. She felt her heart melt. Of course, she wanted to see them and live near them. But she wasn’t the one moving away, was she? This was Don and Laila’s decision.

‘I’ll miss you both too, but I’m not sure about living in Cambridge. I like my house, I don’t want to leave it,’ she told them. ‘Don’t worry though, even if I don’t move, I can still come and visit you.’

‘If you refuse to come with us, then I’ll have to turn down the promotion. I can’t possibly move all that distance from you.’ Don’s tone was laced with annoyance.

‘That’s emotional blackmail,’ she retorted, stung at his phrase ‘refuse to move’, as if she was being selfish, when he had sprung this on her and it was perfectly reasonable for her to want to consider, or even turn down, the idea.

Don kneaded the back of his neck with his right hand. ‘That’s a horrible thing to say when I’m only trying to look out for you. Like Dad would want me to. Like I’ve always done,’ he added for extra effect.

‘Please come and live near us, Nanny,’ Kali begged, throwing her arms around Sandra and hugging her tight.

‘We don’t want to move if you don’t come,’ Rana sniffed, joining in the hug.

Sandra’s mind was in turmoil at the downcast expression on her young grandchildren’s faces. She loved them all so much and couldn’t bear to live so far away from them.

What should she do?

‘Please at least give it some serious thought, Sandra,’ Laila said softly. ‘I know it’s daunting for you, but we’ll all help you settle in and I’m sure within a couple of months you’ll agree that it’s the best thing you ever did.’

Bombarded with such persuasion, and because she knew that she would miss them terribly, Sandra agreed to seriously consider it.

They had a little tour around the local area, showing Sandra the leafy semi-detached house they were hoping to buy when they sold their present home. It had just come on the market, apparently, and they’d made an offer, which had been accepted subject to their house being sold.

‘It’s only a ten-minute walk from Orchard House so you can stroll over and visit us whenever you want.’ Don told her. ‘It’s really convenient.’

‘It’s such a lovely area. You’d soon settle down here,’ Laila added.

‘Your house and the area does look nice,’ she agreed. She had to say something. She couldn’t let them talk her into this. ‘I’ll give some serious thought about moving here, Don, but I’m sorry, living in a retirement community wouldn’t suit me at all.’

Don sighed and fidgeted with his collar. ‘You’d be safe there and looked after…’

‘And unhappy. Which I’m sure you don’t want me to be.’

‘How do you know that until you try it?’

‘Because I know myself, and it’s not for me.’

He frowned then his face brightened. ‘Maybe, you could come and live with us, Mum?’ he suggested. ‘Perhaps you could put something towards us getting a bigger house, with an extra room for you. Or even an extension.’

Laila looked shocked. They clearly hadn’t discussed this, Sandra thought as her daughter-in-law turned away to talk to Rana, who was tugging on her shirt to get her attention.

She was obviously hoping that Sandra hadn’t seen her reaction, but she had.

However, Laila didn’t need to worry, much as she loved Don, Laila and her grandchildren she most certainly didn’t want to live with them.

‘Thank you, dear, but I prefer my own space,’ she replied, and Laila turned back, a smile of relief on her face.

‘We need to respect your mother’s wishes, Don,’ she said quickly.

Later that evening, when she was back in her own home and Don and his family had finally gone, Sandra poured herself a glass of chilled white wine and thought over the day.

This was all her fault, she’d allowed herself to wallow when Brian had died.

She’d been so devastated, bewildered. Brian had dealt with all the finances, etc.

, and she had no idea how to cope so she’d leant on Don and now he thought she couldn’t manage by herself.

Well, she could. She’d learn to. Look at Patti, she lived alone and had overcome cancer.

Then a text pinged in. She glanced at her phone, expecting it to be from Don reinforcing all the reasons why she should move to the apartment, but it was from Patti.

Patti

How did your day in Cambridge go?

Sandra

Awful. Don had booked a viewing of an apartment in a retirement complex for me.

Patti

Fancy a chat over a glass of wine? I can be there in five minutes.

She did. Company was just what she needed.

Sandra

Yes please. I’ve got a bottle chilled and am already on my first glass!

Patti

That bad? I’m on my way!

Patti arrived within ten minutes. ‘I’ve brought cake. I had a couple of slices left.’ She held out a plastic container when Sandra answered the door. ‘It’s chocolate fudge,’ she added as Sandra stepped aside to let her in.

‘Brilliant. Come through.’

Patti had only been to Sandra’s house a couple of times when she lived in Worcester previously, Sandra remembered as her friend followed her into the lounge.

They’d been work colleagues and both had been busy raising teenagers back then.

She’d given Sandra a lift home once when her car had broken down, and had dropped a couple of things off for her when she’d been off ill.

Patti had lived on the other side of the river then, not so convenient for popping in, and they’d been more work buddies than friends.

But despite the years that had passed, it didn’t seem awkward at all for Patti to be here.

‘Grab a seat and I’ll go and get the wine.’ Sandra indicated the big, comfy beige sofa. ‘Is Pinot, okay? I do have a Merlot if you prefer red.’

‘Pinot is perfect.’

When Sandra returned with a tray bearing the opened bottle of wine in an ice bucket, another glass and two plates with a serviette on each and cake forks, Patti had taken off her coat and was sitting on the sofa looking very relaxed, her head resting against one of the rich chocolate brown furry cushions.

‘This sofa is gorgeous, you just sink into it.’

‘The grandkids love it, they often curl up on one of those cushions and fall asleep.’ Sandra felt a wave of sadness that soon Kali and Rana would be living miles away and wouldn’t be able to curl up on her sofa.

You can take it with you if you decide to move, and if you don’t they’ll come to visit, and can still stay over in the holidays, she told herself.

‘You didn’t like the apartment then?’ Patti asked as Sandra passed her a glass of chilled wine then sat down beside her.

Sandra shook her head vehemently. ‘Definitely not. I mean it’s clean and modern enough but there’s no character. And I really don’t want to live in a complex like that. I understand all Don’s reasons, that I’ll be warm and safe and have company, but it’s not for me.’

‘It wouldn’t be for me either.’ Patti opened the plastic container and put a slice of cake on each plate.

‘What did you think of Cambridge itself? Is it somewhere you could see yourself living? If so, perhaps you could buy a house or bungalow there. Actually, some of these retirement complexes have bungalows with a bit of a garden, so that might be worth looking into. My aunt and uncle lived in a gorgeous one. Although the yearly fees can be quite hefty and they’re usually leasehold. ’

Sandra dipped her fork into the cake as she mulled over the question.

‘I’m not sure. I mean, Cambridge seems very nice, but I like it here.

I feel safe and settled.’ She gazed around.

‘I know my house isn’t posh or modern, but it’s full of memories and I’m happy.

’ She bit her lip. ‘Actually, I did suggest that if I do decide to move, I might buy a house or bungalow, but Don doesn’t like the idea.

He’s worried that I’m vulnerable living on my own.

He’s been like that since Brian died. Malvern is only a short drive away at the moment, so he’s always popping in. ’

‘It’s nice that he cares, but this is your life, your decision.

Make sure you do what you think is best for you.

Don’t let him talk you into doing anything you don’t want to.

’ Patti wiped a bit of chocolate cake from her mouth with the serviette.

‘I hope that I’m not overstepping the mark but I’d hate you to move then regret it.

It took me a long time to settle in Nottingham when Adrian was relocated, and I’m happy to be back in Worcester now. ’

‘It’s only because they’re worried about me.’

‘I know, my family are the same. Amanda tried to talk me out of moving back here and is never off the phone. Kit is always checking in on me too. It’s only natural that our families worry about us but we don’t have to dance to their tune.

We might be getting on a bit but we’ve still got a life to live, and we have to do it our way. ’

Sandra picked up her wine and took a long sip. ‘Don can be so persuasive that I find myself doing what he says before I realise it. It’s as if the roles are reversed when you get older. I’m afraid I leaned on Don when Brian died and now he thinks I can’t manage without him.’

‘Well, that’s only natural, we all need help at times.

But now you have to show him that you’ve come through, you’re stronger and you can cope.

And if you can’t, you’ll ask him for help.

It’s best for them too, they have their lives to lead, and busy ones at that.

Our families want to fit us into a box to make their lives easier but we don’t have to climb into it.

We live by our rules not theirs.’ Patti finished her cake and reached for her wine glass.

Sandra nodded. ‘You’re right. I’ll miss them all dreadfully though when they move. Don has said he won’t take the job if I don’t agree to put my house up for sale and move to Cambridge with them. He said he can’t leave me here by myself.’

Patti rolled her eyes. ‘Emotional blackmail. My lot try that sometimes too. Look, why not tell them to go ahead with their plans, your daughter-in-law and grandchildren will still be here for a while, so you won’t be on your own yet and it will give you time to start making a life for yourself without them.

Then, when their house is sold, you’ll be in a stronger position to decide what you want to do. ’