Page 73

Chapter 67

Lotte

The rain that had been threatening through the day had resolved into a real storm that was battering against the glass of the suite at the Paragon by the time Lotte got inside.

She expected the suite to be empty, like every night. But her mother was there, in a gown made of draping checkerboard black and white silk that pooled around her feet. She was pouring herself a drink. She looked like she’d been out already and returned, her hair a little disheveled.

And for the first time since she’d found her in the garden on the night of the ceremony, Benedict wasn’t with her.

Instead, in the middle of the room, Liselotte Rydder was waiting. A suitcase at her feet.

Grace stood, recorking her bottle. “Oh, good, I was beginning to think we would have to send out a search party.”

Lotte was still getting used to being someone’s daughter. But while other mothers might worry about their daughters being missing for a whole day, Grace Holtzfall wasn’t that kind of mother.

Lotte held herself still. “What’s happening?”

“The final trial has taken place. There was some sort of dancing fit at the governor’s speech tonight, with Clemency and Modesty in attendance. A few people caught fire, but that will heal. And then they all just…stopped. So everyone knew the ring had been won elsewhere. And since it looks like it’s not on your hand, good news,” Grace said flippantly. “You’re going home.”

It took Lotte a second to realize what her mother meant by home .

Gelde.

“You’re sending me back.” Lotte almost choked on the absurdity of those words.

Letting go of the heirship had been like shrugging off a costume that had never fit. She had watched Nora accept death to save others, knowing that she didn’t have that in her. That she wasn’t selfless enough.

The truth was, she wasn’t worthy enough to be the Heiress. And she resented having to be in order for them to want her. When none of them but Nora had ever made her feel like a Holtzfall. But the idea that they could send her back had never crossed her mind . Like she was a dress her mother had tried on before deciding to return it to the shop.

“Not my decision.” Grace waved a hand vaguely toward Lis. As if with one flighty gesture, she could cast the blame away.

Hatred burst through Lotte’s chest. Hatred like she’d never felt for anyone. Not even the Sisters. At least the Sisters had never pretended to care for her. “Just like it wasn’t your choice to send me there in the first place.” The words felt thick and bitter in her throat, seeing the discarded memories play out in her mind. “Just like you wanted me all along?”

Grace didn’t meet her eyes. “Maybe if you’d won a trial, my mother would let me keep you, but—”

The scoff Lotte let out echoed loudly around the apartment. “I don’t need you to care for me, Mother, but at least you could stop pretending that you ever did.” And it was true, she saw it clearly now. In her time in Walstad, Grace had done nothing for her. Nora, even Modesty , in her own self-serving way, had done more to help Lotte through the city than her mother had. Her mother had just brought her here and expected her to be some imaginary perfect daughter. A daughter who didn’t need her to be a mother. Who could serve her interests instead.

Grace raised her eyebrows, fine lines appearing in her brow where Lotte had never noticed them before. And for the first time, Lotte wondered if she was seeing the real Grace Holtzfall. Not Grace pretending to be more frivolous and silly than she was. Not the woman brightly pretending to be her mother, but the woman who had birthed her and left her.

“I gave up everything for you.” Grace spoke in a low voice that was almost lost to the storm pounding the window. “Believe it or not, I was once the next Holtzfall Heiress. My mother was grooming me for the role, just like she did Nora. I won four trials before going into the woods. Verity only won a single ring. And I made it to Honor’s ax before she did. It was right there in front of me, my entire future ready to grab, and I hesitated. Because of you.” She said it like an accusation. “I had grown up for years with the unbearable weight of being a Holtzfall. Of seeing my brothers and sisters as competitors more than family. Of resenting them more often than I could love them. I imagined saving you from all that. And as I stood in the woods, I saw Verity. She was running, looking so desperate to prove her worth to our mother. She was so hungry . She wanted everything it meant to be a Holtzfall. I was worthier. I was better. I ”—Grace’s voice rose—“was my mother’s heir! But I let my sister take everything, because I thought I had another life waiting out there for me. One with you and your father.”

Lotte felt a shock go through her. It was the first time they had spoken of her father since Grace had denied knowing the truth.

She took a sip of her drink. “It turned out I was wrong.”

“So you’re not just a coward and a liar,” Lotte said, her voice shaking, “you’re selfish too. You were going to make Benedict break his oath and run away with you?”

Edmund Rydder’s body, tied to the tree, blazed angrily in Lotte’s mind. The consequences of trying to leave the Holtzfalls on full display.

“Benedict?” The shock that went over Grace’s expression was real and raw for a moment.

“Enough,” Liselotte Rydder said at last. “You asked for your chance to say goodbye and you were granted it.” She drew a knife, moving toward Lotte. Lotte stepped back, only to slam into another figure behind her. Before she could turn, a hand went over her mouth. The knife went to Lotte’s chest.

And then Lotte’s world went dark.