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Chapter 18

Theo

The knights were restless. The barracks were sleepless.

A week ago a Holtzfall had been murdered. Tonight an assassin had come close to killing a second one. And on their own territory too. Where the Holtzfalls were meant to be safe. Where the knights let down their guard.

Finally, Theo gave up on sleep.

The training ground outside the barracks was empty. But out of habit, he took up position at the southern end and began moving through drills. Drills that had been trained into his very bones ever since he was a child. He moved through them now over and over again, until his muscles ached. Until his shirt stuck to him with sweat.

But he was fighting shadows, and those wouldn’t be dispelled.

Liselotte Rydder had never contented herself to just command the knights. She had been the one to train them too, when her duties to Mercy Holtzfall allowed. On the days Lis trained them, every single young knight was made to stay until the worst one among them had perfected the drill.

Alaric had always been the first to master it. And always the first to be punished for complaining that he had to wait on the rest of them. For Theo, being a good knight had always meant trying to keep up with Alaric.

Your brother warned us you’d put up a fight.

It didn’t mean Alaric was alive. Even if she was telling the truth, she could have spoken to Alaric months ago. Years. The same went for the barman this morning. Your brother was right about you.

But both had said it like they’d spoken this morning.

There were always knights, each generation, who stood out among the others. Who were earmarked to protect the next heir.

When Alaric and Theo’s father died, and they came to live full-time in the barracks, there were whispers of favoritism as Alaric moved through the ranks swiftly. Their father had been the son of Liselotte Rydder’s younger sister. The Rydder knights might all be descended from Hartwin and Grete, but some shared more blood than others. While Lis was only a commander to most, she was great-aunt to Theo and Alaric.

But it quickly became clear that any promotions Alaric received were for his talent, not his bloodline. He moved like the sword was an extension of his own arm. He seemed to know where an attack was coming from before his attacker did. It was inevitable that he would be sworn to guard Verity, the next in line to the family.

And it was impossible that he had been bested by Lukas Schuld.

Your brother warned us you’d put up a fight.

Theo turned sharply with an arc of the blade and caught sight of a figure watching him at the edge of the training ground. Even in silhouette, Lis’s frame was one he would know anywhere.

Theo snapped to attention.

They faced each other silently across the training ground. Hands locked behind her back, Lis observed him with the same unreadable expression she had worn all through their training. But the inescapable sense that something had shifted hung between them.

“You’re still dropping your shoulder on the parry,” Lis said finally.

“Yes, Commander.”

“You let the assassin’s knife past you tonight as well.” Rydder knights trained to guard the life behind them, not their own. Dropping his shoulder would give the enemy a chance to get by. Keeping it raised meant taking a blade in the shoulder. It meant giving your life for the Holtzfall you were defending. “Your brother never had that problem.”

Theo knew better than to expect any praise for saving Modesty’s life tonight. But he had a feeling that was the only reason he was not being punished for protecting Ottoline. For disobeying a direct order.

Your brother never would have defied me.

Here, in the stillness of the night, Theo saw the grief that marked her countenance when she mentioned his brother. Alaric was more than just another fallen knight. He had been her favorite. Her nephew more than Theo ever was.

Theo was all too conscious of the note in his pocket.

In that moment, he could have told her everything. That Alaric might still be alive. That he might not have died defending Verity. It was his duty to tell her, as she was his commander. And as their commander, it would be her duty to find Alaric and bring him to Mercy Holtzfall.

Knights had been condemned for less than letting a Holtzfall die on their watch.

“Is it true?” Theo asked instead. “There were orders to kill Ottoline?”

Theo had thought he’d seen every aspect of the Holtzfalls in his years. But he’d never seen one of them face death like Ottoline Holtzfall had when facing him.

He’d never seen any of them talk back to Mercy Holtzfall.

He’d never seen any of them want for anything and not be afraid to say it.

He’d never seen one of them wear so much on their face at once.

“I ensured that you didn’t receive those orders,” Lis said simply. A bell went off in the barracks behind Theo, drawing him to attention . “All knights are to report to the garden,” Lis said, turning away from him. “Make yourself presentable.”

This time, Theo did as he was ordered.

He donned a fresh shirt swiftly, with the sounds of the other knights stirring in the barracks around him. Hildegarde Rydder fell in beside him as they moved toward the gardens, fastening the end of her hair into a braid as they walked. “I saw you talking to the commander. Any idea what’s happening?” she asked, tying her hair back as they moved toward the garden.

“Alaric was the one Lis would give a heads-up to, not me.” Theo pushed the sleeves of his uniform up before catching himself and pushing them back into place. They cut through the servants’ entrance, passing through the kitchen. It was mostly empty, except for a handful of maids polishing silverware, ready to be summoned if Mercy Holtzfall needed something.

Among them, Edmund Rydder, Hilde’s brother, leaned against one of the counters, picking strawberries off a half-eaten cake. He was flirting with one of the kitchen maids.

Abigail, Theo thought the maid’s name might be.

Edmund snapped to attention when he spotted Theo and Hilde, the maid quickly turning her attention back to the fork in her hand, polishing it fiercely, face going red.

“We’ve been summoned?” Edmund dusted crumbs from his hands.

“Can’t get anything past you,” Hilde shot over her shoulder as Edmund fell into step behind them. “Especially not pretty housemaids.”

If Alaric had been the best of their generation, Edmund might be among the worst. He had the build of a knight, but he had always been lazy, since they were children, dozing through training and miming his way through drills. Mostly he’d been relegated to driving Prosper Holtzfall between his club, card games, his mistress’s house, the racetrack…napping in the car while the aging Holtzfall son indulged his vices. There was no way out of knighthood if you were born a Rydder. Mothers of Rydder knights, on occasion, would deny the parentage of their children, hoping to give them a life outside the barracks. But the truth was always found out. There was no escaping blood and oaths.

Even for those as unsuited to the life as Edmund.

When the party had ended hours ago, the would-be assassin’s body had still been sprawled in the grass. Now eleven new bodies awaited them.

The sibling bickering between Hilde and Edmund died instantly as they stepped into the garden. Even as they watched, two footmen carried in a twelfth body, laying it in the grass next to the others. Theo felt a weight drop over his chest as he realized that he recognized that body. It was Sir Emmerich Rydder. One of the oldest and most venerated knights among them. He had served since Mercy Holtzfall’s father.

Mercy Holtzfall stood over the bodies, Lis at her shoulder. When their commander caught sight of them, she gestured for them to come forward. As he moved Theo saw that all twelve were knights. Even without their uniforms on, he would have known them. They were faces he had seen all his life, faces of knights who had trained him and trained with him.

“Is that all of them?” Mercy Holtzfall spoke to the footmen from where she stood surveying the dead.

“Yes ma’am.” One of the footmen bowed. His face looked pale and drawn. They had carried all twelve bodies here. To display them, Theo realized, for what reason he didn’t know yet.

Death was part of being a knight.

Theo’s father had died driving Nora’s father. Sir Ulrich had been killed when a Holtzfall got into a brawl in a bar. Alaric—

Countless knights across countless generations, dead.

But this many knights dead at once…it hadn’t been seen since the days that knights rode into battles. The last battle the Rydder knights had fought in was against King Domar II, who centuries ago had tried to send an army to take the Holtzfall ax and land when one of the many heirs named Valor was head of the family. Hundreds of knights had fallen in the name of their oath. To keep the ax in the hands of the Holtzfalls.

But they weren’t at war now.

Theo’s mind went back to the Grim assassin. Was this their doing? Three of the fallen knights bore the signs of a fight, Sir Emmerich among them. But there wasn’t so much as a mark on the other nine.

More knights filed in swiftly. All of them came to solemn attention as they caught sight of the bodies lined up. Mercy Holtzfall surveyed them.

“These knights”—Mercy Holtzfall didn’t raise her voice, but it carried across the assembled knights all the same—“failed to follow an order tonight.”

An order.

The word was enough to make every one of them draw up straighter.

When Hartwin Rydder bound his descendants to obey the Holtzfalls, that oath was more than just words. Any Holtzfall might give the knights an instruction, but only the head of the family could give an order that bound them to obey through ancient magic.

Mercy Holtzfall scarcely gave them true orders.

She had given Theo three in all his life. And every single time was marked deep in his memory. First the order would claw at his mind, driving out any thoughts other than what he had been ordered to do. Then it gnawed at the body, slowly turning to a dull ache in the blood, until that ache turned to an agonizing pain that would wrack through the knight until there was no choice but to obey. Or to die for disobedience. Or failure.

“These twelve knights”—Mercy waved a hand over the dead matter-of-factly—“were ordered to keep Ottoline from the trials. At any cost.”

Do you think the knights who tried to kill me on the way here took the same oath?

They had. These knights had all sworn to protect the Holtzfalls. And Mercy Holtzfall had ordered them to kill one. And they’d had no choice but to obey.

“Clearly, they failed.”

The knights were too well trained to react, but Theo could feel the ripple of unease that passed through them. Temperance Holtzfall, Mercy Holtzfall’s thrice-great-grandmother, had started to lose her wits as she entered her ninth decade of life. She was known to order knights on impossible quests, to find objects that only existed in myth. When they inevitably failed, the ancient oath that bound them would close its hand over their hearts and simply stop them.

The moment that Lotte had stepped forward, pronouncing, I am her heir , the hearts of these twelve knights would have stopped. Any one of them would have willingly given their lives for a Holtzfall. But instead their lives had been taken from them for failing to break their oath and kill one.

“And that failure lies at the hands of one of your own,” Mercy was saying. “Sir Benedict.”

This time the knights did move, gazes shifting to Benedict, who stood among them. He bore the same signs of a fight that Theo had seen on him in Mercy’s office hours ago. He had wondered then who could have taken on the great Benedict Rydder and left a mark.

“I landed no killing blows.” Benedict didn’t cower under Mercy Holtzfall’s gaze. The implication hung heavy in his words. And I could have. “I held them back, on orders from Grace Holtzfall.”

“Grace Holtzfall is not head of this family, and never will be,” Lis snapped. The commander of the Rydder knights wasn’t one for great displays of emotion. But every knight who had ever trained with Liselotte Rydder knew that she was angry. The actions of the knights reflected on their commander. And Benedict had chosen loyalty to Grace over Mercy.

“Grace.” Mercy Holtzfall considered him. “I have given you a lot of grace over the years, Sir Benedict. Because I love my firstborn daughter.” Her voice sounded like a knife against the throat, even as she spoke of loving her children. “But you have cost twelve good knights their lives tonight, so it will not be up to me to decide your fate. It will be up to them.”

Mercy Holtzfall turned to the assembled knights, all of them standing in perfectly disciplined rows in front of her. Hildegarde was the closest to her. She began, and Theo suddenly understood what was about to happen with a twist of apprehension. “As ax bearer of the line of Honor Holtzfall.” Here were the words that preceded an order. Whatever Mercy Holtzfall said next, they would have no choice except to obey. “I order you, Hildegarde Rydder, to tell me the truth. Do you believe Benedict Rydder deserves to be executed for his betrayal?”

Theo had been given orders before. But not once to tell the truth. Whatever orders he was given might force his hand. But his mind had always been his. And now, he watched the order take hold of Hildegarde. “By my oath, I will obey,” Hilde said.

Theo watched her struggle for a long moment. But if she was fighting the truth, then it would be no good. And finally after a painful moment the words seem to come from her as if ripped out. “I believe he should be executed.”

As soon as the words left her mouth her shoulders bowed, as if in shame. Mercy moved to the next knight, repeating the same words. The next knight voted for his execution too. So did the next. That was no surprise. It was Ingrid Rydder, whose father was among the dead on the grass. And then a no. And another. Benedict stood impassive, awaiting judgment as Mercy went down the line, one knight after the next echoing the ancient words. By my oath. By my oath.

Next to him, Edmund was quick to answer: no.

And then it came to Theo.

“As ax bearer of the line of Honor Holtzfall”—Mercy Holtzfall stood in front of him—“I order you, Theodric Rydder, to tell me the truth. Do you believe that Benedict Rydder deserves to be executed for his betrayal?”

“By my oath, I will obey.” The words fell out of Theo’s mouth as he felt the oath take hold. Like a hand wrapping itself around his chest, forcing the words out of him, finding the disloyal thought that was buried deep within his mind. Benedict is not the one responsible for this. You ordered knights to break their oath. To kill a Holtzfall. Theo pushed that thought away. “I do not believe he should be executed.”

And as soon as he had obeyed, the hand released his heart. The oath was fulfilled. And Mercy moved on. Until every vote had been cast.

Only three more knights voted to spare Benedict than those who voted to condemn him.

It was enough.

And all the while, Benedict had stood impassive.

A knight to his core.