Page 37 of The Next Chapter

‘Tell me everything about you and Noah, I want all the details. Actually, not all the details… just the sexy ones.’

‘Shhh.’ I look around wildly, double checking that Noah isn’t around to hear Seb ask for the details of our non-existent sex life. Noah must already think that me and Seb are weirdly close for siblings, even if he’s never said anything about it.

I’m sat on the patio table in front of the cottage for a Zoom call with Seb, nominally for a work meeting, but when Seb shared the agenda, point one was ‘gossip – specifically, getting dicked down by Noah’.

‘I’ve already told you everything. Several times now. It was only that one-night, and this is being recorded!’

‘You know that. But you’re the only person who reads the transcripts,’ he counters.

‘I want to make sure that I don’t forget anything.’

‘Yes, that would be the stuff of the world ending right there, if you forgot one tiny little thing.’

I shuffle around in my seat, because that’s how uncomfortable the thought of forgetting something makes me.

‘How are things your end?’ I ask. ‘Any new business?’

Seb shrugs. ‘A couple of leads, maybe, but I’m just wrapping up the Templeman memoirs.

Kitty emailed to say that Lola has made it clear that she wants to sell this thing to the highest bidder.

Maybe Phil’s stomach ulcer will finally settle down.

And Clementine had a TikTok that went semi-viral, so she’s been in a good mood. ’

‘The morning routine one she did?’ I say, ignoring the bit about Lola selling the memoirs to the highest bidder. ‘I saw that, one of her best, I thought. I can’t believe she gets up at 4am every day for Pilates and affirmations, though.’

‘She doesn’t,’ Seb answers. ‘It’s all made up. Most days she doesn’t even get to the office for nine. She’s driving me mad.’ Seb rubs at his temples, same as he always does when Clementine is mentioned.

I laugh, but looking at Seb on the other end of the call, I’m hit by such an intense bout of homesickness, it makes my head spin.

I miss them all. I’ve been away for three weeks and I miss my life in Manchester.

I miss my routine and always knowing what’s happening.

I miss not worrying whether the grass is full of killer ants every time I sit down.

I have no idea how Noah does this for his whole life.

‘Your great-granny would be proud, you know?’

On the outside, Seb is as warm as a slab of concrete, but I know that the reason he cares so much about Your Life is because of people like his great-granny. Deep (deep) down, he’s like a marshmallow.

‘Thank you for saying so, sister dearest.’

‘Can you help me FaceTime Elton again later?’ I ask.

Seb rolls his eyes.

‘We’re talking about FaceTiming your cat like it’s a totally normal thing to do now, are we? I know you’re dodging talking about you and Noah.’

I look around again, checking that he’s not about to appear.

He’d said this morning that he was going to repair the fence around the other side of the hotel, the side by the loch.

It’s on the business plan I drew up when I’d had a spare couple of hours at 2am ten days ago.

But knowing my luck, he’s absolutely going to emerge any second now, declaring that he heard the whole thing.

I drop my voice to an angry whisper.

‘There is no me and Noah…’

Seb levels me a look.

‘Wow, you are stubborn.’

‘I’m not! I’m realistic. There’s no future me and Noah. There can’t be. Even if he takes this job which means he’s home some of the time, he’s still some free-spirited wildling and I’m…’

‘Anally uptight?’

‘I was going to say “me”, but thank you, for filling in the blanks in such a positive and life-affirming way.’

‘My pleasure. But let’s circle back to the thing you said about Noah potentially staying here.’

‘It’s nothing,’ I say, still hunched over my laptop to whisper.

‘He just mentioned that he had the chance to go for a position which would mean shorter trips and more time in the UK. He’s not sure whether to take it and I’m not going to try to sway him either way.

Even if we did give in to this thing and have a summer fling, everyone knows that summer flings don’t last. The key is in the title – summer, as in, over by autumn. ’

‘But you like the guy, right?’

I think about Noah. How at first, I’d thought he was just nice to look at.

And he is, don’t get me wrong. The man doesn’t have a bad angle.

But that was shallow. I was shallow. Because there’s a lot more to him than that.

He’s sexy, sure, but he’s thoughtful and kind too.

Like the fact that when I went to top up Harper’s Pringle stash from the hotel shop I couldn’t because Noah had already bought them all.

Sigh.

‘You get that I’m still here, right? Your tongue is lolling out of your head.’

‘It is not lolling. But please, it really doesn’t matter whether I like Noah or not.’

Seb lets out a groan. ‘See, admit it, you’re incredibly stubborn.’

I’m outraged! Or vaguely irate at least. ‘I am not stubborn!’

‘At least admit that you like the guy.’

‘Fine, I like him.’ My voice is getting louder and louder. ‘I’m madly in love. I’m obsessed. I want him to wife me up right now. There, are you happy?’

Movement in the corner of my eye causes my head to snap up.

‘I’d just come to see if you had any Pringles, but I’ll, er, come back later.’ Harper is smirking at me.

Is there no privacy to be had on the Isle of Skye?

‘Yes, that would be great, Harper, if you don’t mind. I’m just on an important work call.’

I can hear Seb laughing through my laptop, but I feel like it’s important to maintain eye contact with Harper.

Like you’re meant to if you come face to face with a bear.

I link my fingers together on the table and smile at her, hoping that she isn’t about to run back to her foster parents and tell them that some crazed maniac is living in one of the hotel cottages.

‘See you later.’ She’s still smirking as she turns to leave.

‘Oh my god.’ I wait a couple more minutes until I’m sure that Harper has gone before I scuttle off inside, back to angry whispering. ‘Why is it that every time I talk to you something bad happens?’

‘Can’t answer that for you, babe.’

‘What if she tells Noah that I’m in love with him? When I’m not, I’m not!’ My voice is getting higher and higher.

‘Don’t worry about it.’

‘Oh yeah, that’s completely me. When have you ever known me to not worry about something?’

‘True, true. Though I have to say, it’s refreshing that you have something real to worry about this time.’

‘Are we done here?’ I ask him. ‘This work meeting hasn’t exactly involved an awful lot of work and I need to get on with Mr Vandergilden’s memoirs.’

‘I read a couple of chapters of that, by the way. Good job. I think you really captured his anti-gun regulation ethos.’

‘What a compliment!’ I sound sarcastic, but actually, I’m storing away Seb’s nice words because it’s the sort of affirmation I need on a daily – okay, hourly – basis.

‘We both know you love it,’ Seb answers. He really does know me too well. ‘I did want to talk to you about something, though.’

‘Okay.’ Seb is being more serious than usual. Which is, admittedly, a low bar. My mind goes immediately to the worst-case scenario. Elton has cancer. Seb has cancer. I have cancer and for some reason, Seb has been informed before me.

‘It’s about Lola.’

Lola has cancer!

When she seemed like such a beacon of health to me. Having three parents die on you has to be some sort of sign that you’re cursed, doesn’t it? Not that Lola is a proper parent, but she’s in that general remit. If I was doing a Venn diagram of my family, she’d be on there.

‘Stop panicking for a short minute, will you?’

I realize that my heart is beating very fast. I close my eyes for a second and will it to chill the fuck out.

‘You said that Lola had told you who she is, about the band now?’ Seb asks.

I’m confused. ‘Yeah, that’s right. She mentioned it on Saturday after we’d finished recording. We haven’t covered it as part of her memoirs yet, though.’

‘That doesn’t matter. I just wondered if now might be a good time to tell her who you are.’

‘What? Why?’

‘If Kitty is getting closer to a deal, and you’re halfway through your time up there, this is all going to come out soon, Lily.’

It takes a couple of seconds for Seb’s words to fully register.

Of course, what he’s saying makes sense. I should tell Lola who I am. I’ve gotten so used to lying to her and Noah that I hardly even register it anymore. And as for the thought of her memoirs coming out… I can’t even… I just can’t.

Plus, I’m still all over the place with her.

Sometimes, I think I’m fond of her. More than that even, it’s like I admire her.

For going through what she went through and surviving all of it and building this place.

I had a stable upbringing and I’m a mess.

Yet here Lola is, surviving her childhood and still growing her own carrots.

Other times, I can’t see past how angry I am. How unfair it all feels. That she did what she did and still gets to live this life. That she’s here and Mum and Dad aren’t.

I look at Seb.

‘Oh good,’ he says, ‘you’re done.’ It’s probably best not to share that the back of my neck is damp with sweat.

‘Okay, I’ll think about it, I promise. But before we go, I just wanted to say – you know if anything happens to me?’

‘Another death conversation. Excellent.’

‘You’ll like this one. I want you to have the house. And Elton. Maybe you and Mr Cains could work out a joint custody arrangement or something. I’ll get a will, when I get back.’

Seb frowns at me, his dark eyebrows moving closer to the centre of his forehead. ‘What’s brought this on?’

‘I was on the back of Noah’s motorbike the other week.’

‘God, to be a straight woman.’

‘And I definitely thought I was going to die.’

‘Standard.’

‘And I don’t know, I just realized that I don’t really have anyone to leave all my stuff to.’