Page 89 of The New Couple in 5B

“I don’t remember,” I say, not wanting to contradict Chad.

I feel the heat of the detective’s gaze.

“Ivan loved us. And we loved him. That’s why we took care of him, and I think that’s why he left us the apartment,” says Chad. “Dana was nowhere to be found as he lay dying. She never even came to say goodbye. She can’t know if he was of sound mind or not.”

Chad dumps his head in his hand then, shoulders starting to shake. I hold on to him tight.

“This conversation is over,” says Olivia. “Your callousness is shocking.”

Detective Crowe rolls his eyes, releases a sigh, then stands.

“One more thing,” he says. “You say that your clients have no criminal records.”

My shoulders tense and I feel Chad go very still.

“But that’s not the whole truth, is it?”

Olivia has risen, as well, her face blank. She stays silent.

“But that’s not true,” he says again. “Is it, Mr. Lowan?”

twenty-six

Willa

1963

I am bold enough, cold enough, to have him in our apartment. With Paul away I remember what it’s like to feel free—young and with no concerns except your own pleasure. We go out to clubs and the movies. We dance until the morning and wander home through the park as the sun rises, sleep during the day. Paul always calls after dinner, and I make sure that I am alone to receive him, sounding just lonely enough that he feels missed, not so despairing that he decides to come home.

It’s so quiet here, so peaceful, he tells me.I write all morning, then stroll through the woods, eat, write some more. All the chaos and noise and filth of the city seem so far away. I can’t wait until we live like this all the time.

Graveyards are peaceful, too, I think.

I am so happy you’re happy, I tell him.

You sound so far away, he says worriedly.

I’m right here.

This morning in the mirror I saw the first sign of a real bump I think, though my body is still slim.

I look at the clock. Nearly eight. I’ll be meeting my love soon. We’ll go to a jazz club downtown, listen to music and smoke and drink and laugh. His skin is dark; his eyes darker, they sear into me and see my soul. He’s never tired, never suggests that we stay in.

The buzzer rings and I startle.

Who’s that?Paul asks, not in the least suspicious.

Probably just Ella. I’m late for game night with the girls.I am such an effortless liar. The lies just slip from my lips like so many butterflies.

Have fun, he says.I love you.

I love you.And I mean it; of course I do.I’m sorry, I want to say.I wish I were the wife you deserved. But I’m not.

I hang up and go to the apartment door. My lover is standing there.

I am shocked at, thrilled by, his boldness, to come up here this way. Usually, we sneak up through the service elevator.

Before I can protest, he puts a finger to my lips.The Aldridges are out, he says.