Page 38 of The Most Unusual Haunting of Edgar Lovejoy

Jamie

It was casting day for scare actors at House of Screams, one of Jamie’s favorite parts of their job. They swung by to pick up Amelia on the way.

“Dude,” she said as she hopped into the front seat and slung her bag in the back. “I think we’ve got a preliminary cut. Can you come over after work to watch?”

“Hell yes.” They raised their hand, and Amelia high-fived it. “Sorry I’ve been so busy lately. The text thread with Emma and my folks has exploded.”

Now that the wedding was drawing nearer, new problems or decisions cropped up nearly every day. Dozens of texts would greet Jamie when they took their lunch break, with links and pictures and words like URGENT at the top of every single one.

Jamie had told their family multiple times that if emergent decisions needed to be made, they shouldn’t wait for Jamie to weigh in. It hadn’t made a difference though. This wedding was a train chugging along the tracks, and god help anyone who got in its way.

“If I don’t respond quickly enough, my folks call when they know I’m at work and leave sigh-punctuated messages about how I’ll regret being selfish and not prioritizing my only sister’s wedding years from now, because a wedding only happens once.”

“Ew,” Amelia expectorated. “Wait, wasn’t your mom married before she and your dad got together?”

“Yeah, I dare you to try and bring that up with her.”

“So would I be right in assuming my invitation to be your date to the blessed event is rescinded?”

Jamie sighed. “I haven’t asked him yet.”

“I thought it was going well?”

“Edgar’s wonderful. But I’m honestly dreading the wedding. Even with the suit issue settled, I just… You’ve been to these family events where my mom is running a political shadow op while the rest of us eat macaroni salad. You know how it is.”

Amelia snarled. “Yeah, every time your parents misgendered you, I wanted to scream. I don’t know how you stand it.”

Jamie’s stomach hurt. “Hence my dread.” They waved a merging truck in front of them as they slowed down to make the turn into the haunt. “So what do you think I should do?” Jamie asked, throwing the truck into park. “Should I go?”

“You don’t have to decide now if you’re gonna go to the wedding. But I think you should invite Edgar no matter what you choose later. I’d want to be asked.”

“I would too,” Jamie said, linking elbows with her as they walked toward work. “Thanks.”

Amelia cupped her hand to her ear. “What was that?”

“I said you’re right, my wisest and most trusted advisor.”

“I know,” Amelia said cheerfully.

“Your every crumb of sagacity is a blessing to my—” Jamie was interrupted by Amelia shoving a doughnut into their mouth.

“Mm, ’s my favrt,” Jamie said through a mouthful of delicious old-fashioned.

“You’re the smartest, most correct person I’ve ever—” Jamie intercepted the second doughnut before Amelia made it to their face and held on to it for later.

“All right,” Jamie said, in a much better mood now. “Let’s go make a bunch of people scream.”

***

Jamie cued up the scene in Amelia’s film and cast it to Edgar’s television.

“It’s not scored yet or anything,” Jamie explained. “This is just a rough cut she gave me to show you.”

“Good,” Edgar said with a shiver.

Jamie pressed Play.

The clip was eight seconds long. It was dark, and the loop of the abandoned roller coaster soared through the fog in the background. In the fore, feet in yellow sneakers ran through the dark park, then skidded to a stop. The camera traveled up slowly, and Edgar came into view.

His hair was cobwebbed and skin cinereous, his eyes dark pits, his mouth wizened. The ghost onscreen opened its maw and screamed, darting forward to chase his victim out of the shot.

“Holy shit. That was really me?” Edgar asked, looking stricken.

“Yup. What do you think?”

“I’m…really scary,” Edgar said slowly. “If I saw that ghost from across the street, I would definitely be terrified.”

“Yeah.”

Edgar’s eyes were on the paused screen, his mouth down turned as he peered at ghost him.

“What’re you thinking about?”

Edgar turned pained eyes to Jamie. “I’ve been a ghost.”

“Yeah. You’re scary as hell! It’s awesome.”

“No, I mean.” He shook his head, and when he spoke next, his voice was thick. “I thought I was protecting myself. But you and Poe are right. I’ve been skulking around my own damn life, so scared of being scared that I just…hid.”

He swiped angrily at his wet cheeks.

“I’ve done more stuff in the last month than in the last five years. And—” His voice was unsteady, but he fought to speak anyway. “Is this what my life could’ve been?”

Jamie’s heart broke for him. They stroked his back and held his hand.

“I’ve been so scared for so damn long that I guess I didn’t think I could be any other way. And now…” He hung his head. “My life’s been so small. I’ve missed everyth-thing.”

Yes! Jamie wanted to shout. Yes, it could’ve been like this. It still can!

They took Edgar by the shoulders. “Baby. You experience the world in a way most other people don’t. Your fear is real and understandable. It’s not your fault that you’re scared. But it seems like you could be a little…less scared?”

Jamie didn’t want to seem like they were expecting Edgar to stop being afraid. They just wanted him to see how much progress he’d made in such a short time.

Edgar shook his head. “I’m more scared now.”

Jamie’s stomach fell. Well, that was short-lived . “Oh.”

“I’ve got more to be scared of now. I’m scared that Poe will leave in the middle of the night, like he did when he was sixteen, and I’ll never see him again.

I’m scared Allie’s kid will see ghosts and be as scared as I’ve always been.

I’m…I’m scared I’m gonna lose you.” He wouldn’t meet Jamie’s eyes.

“That you’re gonna realize what a mess I am and how being with me isn’t worth it.

But now that I know what it’s like to have you, it’ll be so much worse when you leave, and I just don’t know if I—”

He broke off, shaking his head.

“ When I leave?” Jamie’s heart clutched. No, no, no, this can’t be happening. I can’t be thrown away again. Their mind screeched to a halt at that thought. Okay, whoa, slow down . “Hang on, mister,” Jamie said sternly, turning Edgar toward them.

Edgar blinked, his pupils dilating.

“That is a ton to talk about, and I’m excited to try, but I’m starting here: I don’t want to lose you or be lost. I really fucking care about you. I like your weird family. I like you . Like, I truly, deeply enjoy you. Do you understand?”

They cupped Edgar’s face, stroking his cheekbone with their thumb.

Edgar’s lashes fluttered, but then he met Jamie’s eyes, and the need there was fathomless. Heat sparked low in Jamie’s belly. They wanted Edgar’s need, his surrender. They wanted to tease him until he was so desperate he cried and then wreck him with pleasure.

Edgar said, “Me too.”

“Good. All of those are normal things to be scared of. Maybe you were so focused on your fear of ghosts that it was easy not to notice anything else.”

“So now I’m scared of natural shit as well as supernatural? This sucks.”

Jamie smiled and ran gentle fingers through Edgar’s hair. “Fear is the consequence of love. Now that you’ve registered how much you care about people in your life, you understand how horrible it would be to lose them.”

Then Jamie realized what they’d said. Love .

“Like, for your brother and sister, I meant, not, um—”

They tried to scramble off the couch, got a leg tangled in Edgar’s, and would’ve fallen if Edgar hadn’t caught them.

Suddenly, Jamie was in Edgar’s lap, looking up at his lightly stubbled chin.

Damn him for being able to have naturally perfect stubble!

“You okay?”

The rush of adrenaline subsided, and Jamie removed their fingers from Edgar’s velvet stubble where they’d apparently migrated, unbidden.

“Ahem. Yes, I’m fine. Thank you.” Jamie attempted to pull themself together. “I got all in my head for a sec, freaking out at my awkward use of the word love . I’m good now.”

Edgar smiled warmly. “Yeah, I got that.”

“No need to look so delighted by it,” Jamie said primly.

“It’s nice for you to be the one getting flustered for once instead of me, that’s all.”

Jamie grumbled.

“I liked it,” Edgar said thickly. “The word.”

Jamie’s heart hammered in their chest. “Cool.” They grinned. “I like it too.”

Jamie leaned in, still on Edgar’s lap, and kissed him, hands in his hair. Edgar melted into the kiss and held Jamie closer. When they touched their tongue to Edgar’s, they felt his cock harden. Lust shot through them, and they fisted Edgar’s hair until he shuddered.

He broke the kiss and rested his forehead against Jamie’s, breathing heavily.

“I wanted to, um, return to something you said earlier—”

“Is that right?”

Edgar’s warm breath made the hairs on Jamie’s neck stand up. “You said, mister . All stern and hot and, um.”

He pressed closer to Jamie, and they groaned at the feel of his hard cock against their hip bone. He kissed their jaw, then beneath their ear.

“No,” Jamie said sharply, and Edgar’s head jerked up. “I said , Hang on, mister.” They said it low and commanding and heard Edgar’s breath catch.

“Jamie,” he said ardently. “Do you ever—” He ran a hand down Jamie’s back. “Do you ever like to be on the receiving end of sex? In whatever way?”

He kissed their neck, and shivers of desire ran down their spine.

“Sometimes, yeah.”

“I just.” Another kiss on their neck. “I would love.” A kiss below their ear. “To make you feel good.”

“You do,” Jamie said. “You always do.”

“Okay. Whatever you want, truly.”

He nuzzled their cheek, and Jamie had the strangest sense that they were about to cry. But then that feeling bundled itself up, crawled back inside them, and got back to doing what feelings do when you don’t let them out.

“Whatever I want, huh?”