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thirty

GRIFFIN

“You good, brother?” Bash looks me over as I slip into the booth situated in the back of the little diner that makes the best protein pancakes I’ve ever had.

The concern in his eyes warms the cockles of my heart and shit.

I’m lucky, I know I am. How many guys have such a solid group of friends that would have their back in any situation, even brawls on the ice involving massive dudes and sharp blades?

Not many, that’s for sure. It’s probably why there are so many butthurt assholes out there.

Either get some friends that you can talk about your feelings with or go to counseling.

Actually, I should probably do some counseling. Maybe it’s time I get a professional to help me work through this curse crap. But something I do have in abundance are friends that will let me bare my soul and will never judge me for how I’m feeling.

“I’m good,” I tell Bash. It’s mostly the truth.

I feel better after talking with Mira this morning, even if things didn’t get resolved the way I wish they had.

I know it’s going to take her longer to warm up to all of this, and, yes, I know I asked her for six months, but I wasn’t anticipating how much the secrecy would grate on me.

Bash isn’t fooled. I’m not surprised. He’s a goalie, after all, and those guys don’t miss a thing. They can’t. “Are you ready to tell me what’s really going on with you two?”

Damn, I wish I could. I’d love nothing more than to get this off my chest. “I can’t, yet. I want to, man, but I can’t betray her trust.”

My friend nods. “Fair enough. Did you get a chance to talk to her this morning?”

“A little. I just…”

“Was hurt when she acted like she didn’t care that those women were coming onto you?” His words sting, but the expression on Bash’s face is soft and brotherly. Of course, he saw all of that.

No sense denying it.

“Yeah. Yeah, I was hurt. She’s got her reasons for keeping us a secret, but I can’t help it—I still hate it.”

Bash opens his mouth but holds his tongue when our server stops by to take our orders. After he sets two coffees on the table and promises to return quickly with our breakfast, Sebastian turns back to me. “You hate it because you’ve been burned before by women who weren’t all in when you were.”

Damn. Not pulling his punches, is he?

“Mira’s not like that,” I say, defensive, even as an uncomfortable seed of doubt sprouts in my chest.

Hands held in front of him, Bash nods. “I’m not saying she is, just that I get why it was triggering for you.”

Huh. I suppose triggering is an accurate way to look at it. “Yeah, I guess. I just need to be patient with her and show her I’m all in and I’m not going anywhere. Be the man she needs, you know?”

“I think that’s great, as long as she’s also the woman you need.” My friend studies me, watching as my face crumples into a frown.

“Of course she’s the woman I need.” She’s perfect. I’ve fallen for women before, but none of them have also been my best friend. What I have with Mira is everything.

“I’m not suggesting she isn’t, but I am saying that love needs to go both ways.

It should never be all on one person to bend for the other.

She has to be willing to bend for you, too, Griffin.

I’ve seen the way she looks at you. Mira cares about you, and I think she cares a lot.

But at some point, if she’s not willing to show you she’s all in, you’ll have to make some hard decisions. ”

I don’t realize I’m rubbing my chest until the server places our plates in front of us and I have to stop to pick up my fork. “I don’t want to lose her.”

My friend’s brown eyes soften at the corners. “I know, man, and I hope things work out between the two of you. I really do. All I’m saying is that you deserve to be loved just as much as she does, and if this becomes more painful than life-giving, I hope you choose yourself.”

I don’t want to choose myself. I want someone else to choose me, for once, dammit.

Still, there’s wisdom in what he’s saying, so I nod. “I will. And if I don’t, you can call me on it.”

With a mouth full of eggs, Bash nods his promise, and I can only hope he never has to make good on it.

I throw myself into practice with a vengeance. Not only do I want to make it to the cup this year, but the burn of my muscles helps take my mind off Mira. If I push myself hard enough, I won’t have the energy to overthink things.

“Good, Wright,” Coach Fry calls out as I snap the puck past Navarro’s mitt.

Feet crossing over one another, I swing around the back of the net and speed toward the stack of pucks at the blue line.

“You’re focused today,” Maddox observes as we wait our turn to charge the net again.

I grunt an acknowledgement. His eyes burn a hole in the side of my head, but I don’t look his way.

Part of me is worried that if I do, he’ll see right through my bullshit and realize I’m fucking his sister.

That’s not a revelation I want to have happen on the ice while he’s wearing blades on his feet.

I don’t have a death wish.

“Isla wanted me to ask if you could come over for dinner when we get back from our next away series. She’s been doing some wedding planning and wants to have the best man and maid of honor over to discuss stuff.

” He puts an emphasis on the word stuff that tells me he’s not as excited as his fiancée is about the planning.

Me? I always thought it would be fun to plan a wedding. And someday, if Mira agrees, I want to have a big one. I want to see her in a fluffy white dress, pick out fun suits, and celebrate our love with a huge-ass party filled with everyone we love. Maddox is lucky as shit.

“Yeah, man, of course. You know I’m excited for you, and I’ll help however you need me to.”

He places a gloved hand on my shoulder and gives me the carefree grin he’s been sporting more and more often since meeting Isla. “I know you will. You’re a good friend, Wright, and a good man. Isla and I wouldn’t be where we are without you.”

“You’d have found your way back to each other, eventually,” I say with a shrug.

He shakes his head. “I’m not so sure about that.”

It’s our turn to run the puck down the ice again, and this time, Bash manages to block both shots.

“Oh, I meant to ask you, did everything get settled with Mira’s car?”

Well, shit. I should have seen this question coming. Should have been prepared with an answer, but I’m not. “Uh, yeah.”

Madds eyes me with a raised eyebrow. “And? What was the damage? Do I need to call the shop and pay it for her?”

“No…” I clear my throat. “Uh, her car wasn’t safe to repair. The owner advised she junk it.”

My best friend’s eyes widen. “Shit. I knew that thing wasn’t in great shape, but I didn’t realize it was a death trap.

I’ll talk her into letting me buy her a car.

Hell, I’ve been trying to talk her into letting me help her since I got my signing bonus, but she’s so stubborn.

Determined to make her own way. And I know her business is doing well so far, but I doubt she has enough saved to buy a car. ”

“Actually, I already helped her out.”

Maddox stills, turning his whole body to face me. “What do you mean, you already helped her out?”

“Uh, I did some promotional work for a Toyota dealership a couple of years ago, so when I contacted them, I got a really good deal on a new Camry.” I shrug like it’s not a big deal.

It is a big deal, and I know that, but I don’t want Maddox to look too closely at this, because I’m worried he’ll see right through me.

“Can she afford the monthly payments?” He’s in big brother mode, and I’m trying not to shit myself.

So I tell a half truth. “Yep.”

She can afford the monthly payments because they’re zero dollars. But he doesn’t need to know that.

Madds stares at me for another few seconds before he grins and claps me on the shoulder. “Thanks, Wright. I appreciate you helping her out when she won’t let me. I don’t know how you got her to agree, but I’m glad you did.”

“Of course, bro. I’ve got her back.”

“I know you do. I wouldn’t trust anyone else around my sister.”

Well, shit.

“Yeah. Totally.”