Page 57 of The Lovers (Echoes from the Past #1)
FORTY-TWO
Surrey, England
When Quinn woke up on Saturday morning after her fragmented night of sleep, she felt grumpy and depressed.
Her head ached, and random scenes from the awful dream kept popping into her mind.
The row with Gabe weighed heavily on her mind, and she suddenly felt like a caged animal, desperate to get out.
She made herself a cup of strong coffee, dressed hastily, and fled the house.
She needed to talk to someone, and that someone was Jill.
Jill was already working, rearranging some summer clothes on a rack closest to the door and marking them down for a clearance sale in order to make room for new winter inventory.
She was wearing a long colorful blouse with a pair of black leggings and comfortable suede boots.
Jill’s blonde hair was piled high on her head, errant curls framing her lovely face as she smiled in welcome.
“Have you come to return your clothes?” she asked with a look of mock horror. “All sales are final,” she added with a chuckle, although of course they weren’t.
“No, I’ve come to buy more. And to talk.”
“And you’ve brought treats.” Jill oohed as she took in the box of pastries and the steaming cups of cappuccino.
“I’ve been here since seven, reorganizing all these racks.
People just hang things up willy-nilly without any thought for size or order.
” Jilly pouted, the pedant in her clawing its way out.
“Not everyone thinks like an accountant, Jilly. Most people prefer chaos.”
“Hmm, you’re probably right,” Jill replied as she scooped up several pairs of jeans and organized them according to size.
She gave Quinn her full attention once the merchandise had been arranged to her satisfaction.
Jill gratefully accepted the coffee, plucked a croissant out of the box, and perched on a high stool behind the counter, gesturing for Quinn to take the other chair.
Quinn sat down as well and sipped her own cappuccino, unsure of how to begin.
“What happened, coz?” Jill asked, skipping small talk as usual. “You look like death warmed over.”
“I had a terrible row with Gabe last night,” Quinn confessed.
“Ah, let me guess,” Jill said with an impish grin. “Gabe came by, told you that he’s loved you for years, and demanded that you fall into his arms right there and then?”
Quinn bristled. “Now, why would you assume that? ”
“The man has been in love with you for nearly a decade. Everyone could see it except you. You were so blinded by Luke that a meteor could have struck central London, and you wouldn’t have noticed.”
“I thought you liked Luke,” Quinn protested, slightly wounded by Jill’s assessment of her grasp on reality.
Jill gave Quinn a pitying look. “Quinn, you liked Luke. You liked him so much that no one could say a word against him, not even your parents. But now he’s gone, and you have a chance to be with someone who might actually make you a priority in his life.”
“And you think that person is Gabe?” Quinn asked, already sure of Jill’s answer.
“I think that life gives us a couple of chances to be happy, and if we miss those chances, we regret them forever.” Quinn knew that Jill was speaking from experience.
She’d been single for several years now, and she bitterly regretted not making a commitment to someone who loved her when she had the chance, choosing her demanding career over her personal life.
Jill’s ex-boyfriend Paul, who’d proposed to Jill several times before finally taking the hint, was now happily married to someone else and a father of twin girls.
He still sent Quinn Christmas cards every year, and last year’s card had been the cutest yet.
Jill had chucked in her career in the end, but it’d been too late to rekindle her romance with Paul. He’d moved on.
“I was happy with Luke,” Quinn replied defensively, tossing the better part of her croissant in the rubbish bin. She was no longer hungry.
“Were you?” Jill asked, her expression all innocence.
“I thought I was. We wanted the same things in the beginning, but then my priorities changed,” Quinn confessed.
“I wanted to get married. And I wanted children,” Quinn added miserably.
She’d never told Jill that Luke was ambivalent about children.
She would have had something to say about that, and she would have been right.
“Quinn, I am all for the empowerment of women and equality in the workplace, but men and women are not the same and never will be. Our needs are different because our bodies are different. You might not have wanted a family in your early twenties, but you’re thirty now, and like it or not, your body is reminding you of that.
You wanted commitment and the promise of a family with Luke, but he still wanted the same things he desired when you first met, and he got them.
He can play the field for another twenty years if he wishes and then change his mind and have a family after all.
You, as a woman, are not on the same time schedule and cannot be expected to wait indefinitely until he’s ready to settle down. ”
“He didn’t want to marry me,” Quinn confessed sadly. She couldn’t bear to tell Jill that Luke had been cheating on her. It was too humiliating.
“He didn’t want to marry anyone. Luke is ruthlessly ambitious and terrified of growing old and irrelevant,” Jill said as she punctuated her statement with her half-eaten croissant.
“Are you suggesting that he’s shagging his students to feel young?” Quinn chuckled, amazed by how close Jill had come to the truth.
“I wouldn’t be surprised. There’s a reason that’s such a cliché. It happens more often than you think. Maybe it’s time you shagged someone.”
“Really, like who? And don’t say Gabe . ”
Jill shook her head. “I would never suggest that. You can only shag Gabe if you’re serious about him. Anything else would be unfair. What about this Rhys guy? Do you fancy him?”
Quinn shrugged. “He’s nice.”
Jill rolled her eyes dramatically, making Quinn laugh. “Nice? Is that the best you can say about him?”
“He intrigues me. I barely know him, but there’s a connection between us that I can’t explain. It’s like he understands me.”
Jill rolled her eyes dramatically. “I bet he’d like to understand you all the way to bed. Has he tried it on with you yet?”
“No. He’s just been—what is the word I’m looking for—solicitous.”
“Oh, what a knight in shining armor. I hate men like that. They kill you with kindness.”
“And baked goods.” Quinn giggled. “Oh, Jill, you are no help whatsoever,” Quinn complained, but her dark mood had dissipated, and she felt much lighter.
“Sure I am. You came in here looking like a thundercloud and now you’re laughing. Now, pass us another croissant.”
Quinn slid the box across the counter and considered what Jill had said. Jill was right, as usual. She did feel happier. Both women looked up as two potential customers came into the shop.
“Time to work my magic,” Jill whispered, giving Quinn a meaningful wink. “Be right back.”
Jill went to help the customers while Quinn considered Jill’s advice.
She’d never been one for mincing words, and the things she said about Luke were hurtful but true.
Luke was a self-centered, ambitious, selfish tosser.
Quinn supposed that she always knew that on some level, but love is blind, and so is faith.
She’d believed in him, believed that he loved her enough to include her in his plans.
Well, now she knew different. And she also knew that once Gabe finally settled down with one woman and surrendered his heart, he would love her until the end of his days, which was exactly the reason she was so terrified to give him any encouragement.
To give him hope and then yank it away would be unforgivable, so she had to be sure.
Jill rang up the purchases and wished the two women a good day before turning back to Quinn. “I actually have a new bloke,” she suddenly announced, her mouth stretching into a ridiculously wide grin.
“Oh, do tell. I’m tired of talking about my toxic love life.”
“He’s one of the suppliers I work with. We’ve stepped out a few times,” Jill confided.
“You really like him, don’t you?”
Jill nodded as a rosy blush spread across her porcelain cheeks. “I do. We’re going out again tonight. Would you like to come? I can ask Brian to bring a friend.”
“I actually already have plans, but thank you all the same,” Quinn lied. She’d just go home and catch up on some reading or watch a film. She simply wasn’t ready to go on a blind date, but the thought of spending another Saturday night alone left her feeling more out of sorts than before.