Page 29 of The Love Comeback (Glaciers Hockey #3)

Chapter Twenty-Five

Ella

The last thing I expected was to be FaceTiming Kade during Colton’s game—not after I told him I needed space. But there was something so earnest in his text message that made me reach out despite my better judgment.

Seeing his reaction to Colton’s playing, how nothing mattered more to him than watching a ten-year-old’s hockey game—a ten-year-old who isn’t even his—did something to me.

It did something to my heart.

“Dude, I can’t believe we won again!” Aaron gives Colton a high five as the two emerge from the locker room.

“I know!” Colton beams with pride as he meets my gaze .

“You played great today, kiddo.” I bring him in for a hug, giving him a tight squeeze before releasing him. Valerie does the same for Aaron, and we drift away from the crowd of parents and onlookers, heading toward the exit.

“Everyone thinks that Colton’s dad is a professional hockey player,” Aaron blurts out as soon as we step out into the evening air. “And he didn’t tell them no!”

I whip my head around to Colton, my eyes widening. “Why do they think that?”

“Um…” Colton’s voice trails off, and his cheeks redden. “I don’t know…”

“It’s ’cause they saw Kade at our first game and he had that sign and stuff!” Aaron continues to rattle off, telling all about what’s been happening on the team. “Colton didn’t say anything, so they all think that Kade is his dad!”

Valerie and I exchange a look, and she guides Aaron’s shoulders away from us. “We really need to get going … we’ll talk tomorrow?” Valerie smiles at the two of us, and then we split, them heading toward their van and us toward the Tahoe.

I sigh and run my fingers through my hair, knowing that I’m going to have to address this before it gets out of hand. “Come on,” I say, placing a hand on his back. “We need to talk.”

He’s quiet, throwing his bag into the backseat and then climbing in. His total silence has me feeling a little guilty—but also irritated. Why wouldn’t he tell the kids the truth? Kade isn’t his dad …

I climb into the driver’s seat and start the car, letting the engine warm up as we sit and idle in the parking lot. “Did you tell your teammates that Kade is your dad?” I let the question hang in the silence as I adjust the rearview to meet his gaze in the mirror.

Colton’s eyes immediately drop to his lap. “I … I didn’t tell them he was my dad … I just didn’t tell them he’s not my dad.”

“Did you want them to think that Kade is your dad?” I ask the question softly, trying to make sure I don’t come across as accusatory—or make him feel like he’s in trouble.

That’s the last thing I want to do right now.

I just want Colton to feel safe enough to share his feelings and not bottle them up.

“I just…” His voice trails off as he glances up, meeting my eyes in the mirror. They’re rimmed with moisture, and as much as I want to be mad at him, I can’t bring myself to feel anything other than pure sympathy. His lower lip quivers, and his voice breaks. “I just wanna have a dad, too.”

My heart explodes in my chest as he begins to cry, and I quickly unbuckle and spin around in my seat to reach out to him and grab his hand. I give it a squeeze. “Colton, I’m so sorry. I really am. There are so many things that I wish I could change.”

“Why can’t you just be with Kade?” His voice strains through his distress, and I feel the weight of his words on my shoulders. “He’s super nice, and Aaron says that he likes you!”

“It’s not that simple,” I say quietly but firmly. “It doesn’t work like that.”

“Well, it should .” Colton shuts down then, folding his arms across his chest after wiping his tears away.

“You can’t lie about who your dad is,” I say softly. “Your dad was really good at hockey. He could’ve been a pro had that been something that he wanted to do, but instead, he just wanted to be your dad.”

“Do you think he’d be proud of me?” Colton’s voice comes out so small, reminding me of the sad five-year-old that sat in the back of my car and cried for his parents for hours after the accident.

“I think they’d both be so proud of you, Colton.

They’d cheer for you louder than anyone else in the entire world.

” I fight to hold back the tears as Colton nods, fresh ones spilling from his eyes and down his cheeks.

His nod tells me he needs space, and I turn back around in my seat, buckle up, and pull out of the parking spot.

I readjust the mirror, preventing Colton from seeing me as the tears begin to fall from my own eyes. I’d never wish this kind of pain on anyone, especially not a child. I know that Colton wants to be able to point out his dad like a lot of the other kids on the team.

I breathe in and out, trying to keep myself from breaking down as I make the fifteen-minute drive home. As soon as I pull into the driveway and park in the garage, Colton hops out, leaving his hockey bag in the backseat.

I let him go, slowly gathering all my things from the day and grabbing his bag on the way inside. I set it all down in the mudroom and then kick off my shoes. I walk slowly across the tile floors, hearing the shower running in the bathroom. I let out a sigh and keep going to my room.

Instead of immediately hopping into my own shower, I plop down on the edge of the bed and fish my phone out of my pocket. I scroll to my mother’s phone number and hit the call button, trying to keep it together.

“Hello?” Her warm tone fills my body with some relief.

“Hey, Mom,” I breathe out. “I hope I’m not bothering you.”

“Oh, of course not, Ella.” I can hear the smile in her voice. “How are you? You sound awfully tired. Late night at practice?”

“No, Colton had his second game tonight, and apparently—”

“Oh, was Katie there?” Mom cuts me off, confusion filling her voice. “And what kind of game? Why was I not invited?”

My heart plummets. “What’s the date today?”

“Oh, I’m not sure…” Mom’s voice trails off. “I think it’s about time for your semester to end, right? It’s getting close to finals.”

“I see…” I swallow the hurt. She has no idea of the present.

She must be having a bad day. “Is Chandra there? I thought she wa s coming to clean today.” It’s the verbiage I use when Mom is having a bad day, and she believes Chandra is the cleaner I hired to help her out.

I don’t how Chandra manages to do what she does—but I couldn’t do this without her.

“I don’t know why you think I need help cleaning. I’m not decrepit. I’m only fifty-one.”

No, you’re not, Mom.

“I know, but I just thought the help would be nice,” I say carefully, just as I hear the other line pick up. Chandra must’ve figured out that Mom was on the phone. “Oh, is that Chandra on the other line?”

“Yes,” Chandra comes on, her voice warm and sweet. “I just so happened to hear your mom on the line and thought I’d see if I could check in on you, Ella. You know how nosy I can be.”

I hold back the tears, already knowing that Chandra is saying what she’s saying because Mom isn’t all the way there right now.

“Oh, it’s always nice to catch up with you.

I don’t get to do that very often.” We both have figured out that if we try to correct Mom on what time her mind is in, she gets combative—and that never ends well for anyone.

“Why don’t you let us catch up for a little bit?” Chandra’s voice has that consistently motherly, gentle tone, and I breathe out a sigh of relief as Mom agrees.

“Oh, I bet the two of you would enjoy that since Ella has been away for college. It’s so hard having you gone, Ella. I miss you.”

“I miss you, too, Mom,” I say, just as I hear the line click .

“She’s not having a good day,” Chandra then says, her voice losing its brightness. “In fact, it’s been one of her worst days yet.” I can suddenly hear the exhaustion in her voice, and I feel a pang of guilt.

“I’m sorry for not being there.” I sniffle, my emotions overwhelming me all over again. “I feel like I should be there more often. It’s just with hockey and robotics and—”

“You’re doing plenty enough already,” Chandra says, her voice firm. “Please don’t beat yourself up. Your mom usually has more good days than bad. She’s had a great week other than just today. I’m sure she’ll be better tomorrow. You just have to give her time.”

“I know,” I choke out, running a hand over my face. I feel selfish, but for once, I really need my mom to be in the right mind. She’s the only person I have that understands my situation and what I’m going through with Colton. Not to mention, she knows Kade better than anyone else I know.

“Are you okay?” Chandra’s tone comes out concerned. “You don’t sound great, Ella. Do you need to talk about something?”

“No,” I say quietly. “I’m just tired. I’ll let you go, though. I need to get Colton in bed soon.” I hang up with her after we say our goodbyes, and then I toss my phone to my bed, burying my head in my hands. I’ve never needed to talk to someone so badly, to unload everything I’m going through.

But who would possibly listen to me?

I swallow hard, my eyes drifting back to my phone.

There is one person who would listen to me…