Page 26 of The Love Comeback (Glaciers Hockey #3)

Chapter Twenty-Two

Kade

I drum my fingers on the steering wheel as I sit in Ella’s driveway, waiting for her to come out of the house. There’s a big part of me that wants to run to her door and play the role of the perfect gentleman, but I already know in my gut that this is not a date.

In fact, this whole thing feels like the dreaded we need to talk spiel—and that’s almost always loaded with nothing but heartbreak.

The radio plays softly in the background, and I take a deep breath, hating the choice of song.

“When We Were Young” fills the cab, and I sometimes wonder if the man upstairs gets a laugh out of torturing me with irony.

Regardless, I can’t bring myself to actually turn it down or off.

No, I listen to every lyric, all the while wondering if Ella Smart is going to ghost me. Again .

But then—Ella steps out of her front door, looking lethal in a pair of dark wash jeans and a cream-colored sweater. I can’t stop staring at her.

And every second just makes the ache in my chest hurt a little more.

I hop out of the truck and jog around to the passenger side, beating Ella to the door.

“Hey,” I breathe out, sounding like I just ran a half-marathon. “I was starting to think you weren’t gonna come out.”

She doesn’t meet my gaze. “Sorry. I was just trying to find the right shoes.”

I glance down at her Converse. She can wear whatever she wants, and it still looks good. “You look great, El.” My voice comes out way softer than I intend, and she peers up at me.

“Thanks,” she says before looking away and hopping into the car.

I shut the door and then rub my forehead as I make my way back around to my side. My heart flutters in my chest, and I have those unwanted first-date vibes flowing through my body. And the irony of it all is…

Ella was my first date .

“Where do you want to go?” I ask as I situate myself in my seat. “Have you eaten?”

“Yeah,” she answers weakly. “I don’t think I want to have this conversation over food.”

So that means it really is a bad one.

Great.

“Well, we could go sit by the river. It’s not that far from here. There’s a couple of good lookout points. We don’t have to get out of the truck either, if you’re worried about safety.”

She makes a face. “I think you’re probably one of the biggest men in the city. I don’t think I’ve ever felt unsafe with you.” She pauses, a bittersweet smile stretching across her face. “I’ve never felt like I even have to pay attention to my surroundings when we’re together.”

The admission makes my chest soar with pride. “I’m glad I make you feel secure. I hope that never changes.”

Her eyes dart away at that, and she tugs on her seatbelt. “Yeah, we can just go sit at the river.”

I put my truck in reverse and back out, heading out of her neighborhood.

I steal glances over at Ella as we make it to the stop sign, and once I realize she’s not going to talk about anything else, I reach for the radio, turning up the music.

Some other song plays, and thankfully, it’s not remotely as triggering as the one before it.

Some other woman sings about falling in love, and I tune out, focusing on getting us to the river safely .

And Ella? Well, she just stares out the passenger window like I’m taking her away to prison or something.

I want to ask her how her day was and how Colton’s day was. I want to know every thought that crossed her mind today, but I know better than to ask. I feel the weight of the conversation that’s to come.

“This is really pretty,” Ella’s voice breaks my thoughts as I pull into a spot that faces the glory of the water. The sunset casts a warm glimmer across it.

She’s right. It is pretty.

But probably not pretty enough to convince her to love me again.

“So… You wanted to talk…”

She unfastens her seatbelt, and for a moment, I think she might get out of the truck, but she doesn’t. Instead, she just nods, angling her knees slightly in my direction. “I won’t take much of your time, Kade. I know you probably have a lot more important things to do.”

“Uh, no,” I respond, furrowing my brow and running my hand over the leather steering wheel. “I never have a problem making time for you or Colton.”

“Um, okay. Well, I just wanted to start by saying I’m sorry for getting so offended over you and your teammates paying for the travel team. You were just trying to help out, and it was a really nice gesture. Not just for me, but for all the families involved. So … thank you. ”

“You’re welcome,” I reply, a wave of relief washing over me. “And I’m sorry for pushing your boundaries. The guys and I truly just wanted to help out Colton and all the other kids who made the team.”

She nods slowly, her gaze drifting out toward the lake once more. “I know. And I know you have a big heart when it comes to helping others.”

“I really would do anything for you and Colton. Just say the word.”

Her eyes close, and she leaves them like that for longer than I’m comfortable with. “You know, my ex-husband started out being really, really loving. There was nothing that he didn’t say to me.”

Well, this is a strange direction of conversation…

“In fact,” she goes on, “when we first got custody of Colton, Landon acted like it was one of the biggest blessings in his life. He loved the idea of being a dad. But that was just it… He loved the idea of being a dad. He didn’t actually want to do it.”

“I see.” I bite my tongue, wanting to inform her that I’m not her ex-husband, and I don’t intend to ever fall in love with the “idea” of being a parent to Colton. If I ever had the chance to step into that role, I’d love it for the good days and the hard ones.

“I know I briefly mentioned this to you before, but things started getting really rocky between us at the one-year mark of having Colton. It was hard for Landon to see past the therapy appointments and the transition pains of taking in a little boy who had just lost his whole world.”

My heart squeezes in my chest, trying to imagine what little Colton must’ve gone through. “I’m so sorry…” The words slip out with sympathy as I find my fingers covering Ella’s.

She sucks in a sharp breath but doesn’t retreat. She lets me linger. “I so badly wanted Colton to have some semblance of family. Some stability. But Landon didn’t care. And, well, you can’t make someone stay who doesn’t want to be there.”

But I want to be here, Ella.

“The divorce hurt,” she continues, “but it was nowhere near as painful as watching a little boy try to make sense of losing another father figure less than two years after his parents died. One that was alive and willingly choosing to forgo a relationship with him. Landon walking out on us made getting over him easy. I’ve never looked back. But Colton didn’t deserve any of it.”

“I understand what you’re saying, and I’m sorry that you and Colton went through what you did.

Neither of you deserved it. But you need to understand something from me,” I pause, waiting for her reaction.

She seems to sort of nod, and I squeeze her hand.

“I want to be in Colton’s life. Me helping him with hockey and cheering him on isn’t about you .

It’s about him . The bond we’ve created is special, and I don’ t want to lose that. ”

Her eyes glimmer with moisture, and I momentarily wonder if I’ve messed up by being so direct with how I feel. She pulls her hand from mine, shaking her head, and my heart sinks.

“I don’t understand why you always say all the right things,” she mutters, looking toward the window instead of me. “You’ve been that way since the moment I met you. You ride in like a knight in shining armor and sweep me off my feet.”

“You’re making it sound like that’s a bad thing.” I lean back against the seat. “I don’t understand what you’re getting at.”

“You broke my heart, Kade,” Ella snaps, whipping her head around to look at me again. This time, there are stray tears sliding down her cheeks, and the way they rip into my chest isn’t fair. What’s even more unfair is the fact that I know I’ve caused a lot more of them in the past.

I try to choose my words carefully. “I never should’ve walked away from you, El. But that was a decade ago. I was just a kid. I was under a lot of pressure, and I thought I was doing the right thing.”

“But that’s just it, Kade. You always think you know what’s best. Back then, it was letting your parents talk you out of us. Now, it’s paying for things I said I didn’t want help with.”

“You’re right. I didn’t stand up for you. I didn’t even stand up for us. I was so scared of messing up my shot at the NHL that I let my parents convince me I couldn’t have both. And you know better than anyone that I was never good at school. Hockey was my entire life plan—”

“Well, you were mine…” Her voice comes out so small, and the way her eyes lose their vibrance at the admission has my heart sinking. “But life doesn’t always go according to plan.”

“I’m so sorry, El,” I breathe out, raking my fingers through my hair. “I let you down, and I really wish I could go back and do it all over again and make the right choice. Because the truth is—I lost more than I gained when I let you go. And all I can do is promise to be better moving forward.”

“Well, it’s not just about me anymore. And Colton’s heart matters a whole lot more than mine. I don’t want to subject him to any more heartbreak.”

“I understand,” I say softly, feeling the weight of my past mistakes pressing down on me. “Colton is the priority, always. And I will do whatever it takes to ensure he doesn’t have to go through any more pain or heartbreak.”

Ella’s eyes search mine, sadness flickering in their depths. “I appreciate that, Kade. I truly do. And I want to believe you. I want to trust you. I’m just not sure I’m ready to completely let my guard down.”

I swallow hard. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that this feels like a lot right now. And I think I need some time to process everything. Some space to breathe. To think. To make sure that we’re not just falling into old patterns because it feels familiar.”

“Okay.” I nod, understanding the gravity of her words. “Take all the time you need. ”

“But I won’t stop you from coming to Colton’s games or practices,” she says quietly.

“I’ll be there.”