Page 56 of The Lost Story of Sofia Castello

55

LISBON, 1941

Emilio stared at me. ‘Why do you look like you just found out Santa doesn’t exist?’

Utterly shell-shocked by his revelation, I somehow managed to gather myself enough to respond. ‘I – uh – I can’t believe he’s a traitor. Are you sure? The man I met was so young. And he seemed like an ordinary Londoner from the way he spoke. He didn’t seem like an earl at all.’ I thought of the way Trafalgar had yelled up at the German planes. His anger had seemed so real. Could it all have been just for show? Was the reason he was brave enough to stand on the riverbank because he knew they weren’t going to bomb there? Had I just been hoodwinked by the biggest cad ever to have lived?

I looked at Emilio, the last vestiges of hope draining from me as he nodded gravely.

I went to fetch my cigarettes, as much to hide my face so he couldn’t see the growing horror written all over it. The reason Emilio couldn’t find the British traitor was because I’d been unwittingly harbouring him in my room. I’d been unwittingly harbouring a traitor who had come here to meet with a member of the Gestapo – the same member of the Gestapo I saw capturing a refugee from the street; the same man I was certain was behind Judith’s disappearance. Was Trafalgar really capable of such a terrible thing? I felt sick to my stomach as I had a flashback to waking up and seeing him looking in the desk drawer in my room at the Savoy. Was he really looking for something to write a note on, or was he snooping through my things, the same way I’d done to Sinclair? Had he been spying on me for the Germans? Oh God!

I lit a cigarette and took a long, slow drag before returning to the armchair, unable to look Emilio in the eye I felt so disgusting and ashamed, not to mention heartbroken.

‘Excuse me?’ Emilio said indignantly, instantly making me jump. Did he know? Had he worked it out?

‘What?’ I said nervously.

‘Aren’t you forgetting something?’

‘What?’

‘To offer me a smoke!’

‘Oh! I’m sorry. Of course.’ I leaned forward and held the pack out to him, hoping he wouldn’t notice my trembling fingers.

‘Are you all right?’ he asked, looking at me intently before taking a cigarette.

‘Yes. I’m just a little unnerved. I can’t believe I met with a traitor. Do you think he passed the information I gave him in the sheet music to the Germans?’ The more I thought about it, the more horrific it became.

‘More than likely,’ Emilio said grimly.

I glanced over at the bed, at the rumpled bedsheets and the pillow that still bore the imprint of that traitor’s head, and I realised that I had to come clean. If I didn’t, I’d be betraying the Allies too. ‘There’s something I need to tell you,’ I muttered.

‘What is it?’

‘Trafalgar, the man I met with in London – he’s who I met up with last night.’

‘What?’ Now it was Emilio’s turn to look horrified. He set his drink down on the side table with a loud clink. ‘He was here, in this room?’

I nodded, staring down into my lap. ‘I’m so sorry. I had no idea. I didn’t even know he was going to be here in Estoril. He just appeared in the bar at the end of my performance. I spent quite a bit of time with him when I was in London. He’s the one I—’ I broke off, unable to say the words out loud, I felt so aghast.

‘The one you fell in love with,’ Emilio said flatly. ‘The one you wrote “Ocean Longing” about.’

I nodded again, unable to speak.

Emilio stood up. ‘When did he leave?’

‘Ages ago. He only stayed a couple of hours. He said he had to catch his plane back to England.’ I clamped my hand to my mouth in horror. ‘Oh no, I let him know that the Allies were on to him.’

Emilio’s look of horror grew. ‘What do you mean?’

‘I asked him if he was here to catch the British aristocrat.’

‘What did he say?’

‘Nothing. I thought he looked confused by my question, but it must have been that he was alarmed. And then he seemed to brush it off, so I thought he wasn’t allowed to talk about it. No wonder he left so quickly.’ But not quickly enough, I thought, feeling sick to my stomach that he’d stayed just long enough to have sex with me.

Emilio gave a long, low sigh. ‘Damn.’

I looked at him imploringly. ‘If I’d known, I never would have invited him up here. I never would have said a thing.’

Emilio glanced at the bed, and my shame deepened. ‘What a lost opportunity!’ he eventually said with a sigh.

‘I’m sorry.’ I stood up, feeling the sudden urge to cry, which I couldn’t bear to do in front of him. I felt pathetic enough as it was. ‘I feel terrible.’ My voice wavered.

‘Are you OK, Castello?’ Emilio’s voice was softer now, thankfully, but this only made me feel worse. To think I’d fallen for the traitor’s lies. To think I’d let him into my bed. And after vowing I’d never be made a fool of again after Bing.

‘I just – I…’ I put my cigarette in the ashtray and began to sob.

Emilio put his arms around me and hugged me tight. His cologne was tinged with the odour of stale sweat, but it was familiar. He was familiar, and in that moment it felt so comforting.

‘I feel like such a fool,’ I sobbed into his shoulder. ‘He was so convincing. He was a member of the SOE – I thought I could trust him completely.’

‘You mustn’t blame yourself,’ Emilio said. ‘You’re not the only one he’s fooled. Apparently, he’s a very talented actor – he’d just graduated from RADA when the war began. The Brits thought his acting skills would make him the perfect spy, but sadly they made him an even better traitor.’

‘He’s an actor?’ I stared at him through teary eyes. A vague memory came back to me, of Trafalgar saying something to me in the dressing room after my performance, something that implied he too had experience of performing. Whatever it was, I knew he’d downplayed it.

‘It’s OK, Castello,’ Emilio said, stroking my hair. ‘We’re on to him now, and you never know: maybe the Allies can use your friendship with him to their advantage.’

‘Of course.’ I nodded eagerly, feeling the tiniest glimmer of hope. In that moment, I would have agreed to do anything to make amends for my crass stupidity and get revenge on Trafalgar for deceiving me so thoroughly.