Page 52 of The Lost Story of Sofia Castello

51

LISBON, 1941

When Alexandre heard ‘Ocean Longing’, he decided to release it as soon as possible, for which I was very grateful. I wanted the record to be played in Britain. I wanted Trafalgar to hear it and to realise that it was about him. By the time the record came out in September 1941, it had been four months since we’d seen each other and in that time I hadn’t heard a thing from him. I’d been so shell-shocked when he left me at the Savoy, I’d completely forgotten to tell him I was living at the Hotel Aviz and, of course, I had no way of contacting him. I didn’t even know his real name.

The more time that passed, the more our experiences during the Blitz took on a dreamlike quality. The emotions contained within the lyrics felt a little like capturing smoke in a bottle, reminding and reassuring me that I hadn’t dreamed it, and the feelings I’d experienced were real. But why, oh why, hadn’t Trafalgar found a way to contact me since?

On my more optimistic days, I told myself that he’d been sent on some top-secret undercover mission, rescuing Allied pilots who’d been downed over France perhaps, and that as soon as his mission or the war was over, he’d be on the first plane to Lisbon. On my more pessimistic days, I tortured myself with thoughts of him perishing at the hands of the Germans, although since that terrible night in May, they’d stopped bombing London so frequently. The reason for this became apparent a month later when the Germans invaded Russia and the Luftwaffe became otherwise engaged.

Alexandre arranged a string of gigs for me in Lisbon when the single came out, the first of which was in Estoril at the Hotel Palácio.

‘I still can’t come to this place without thinking of vomit,’ I said to Emilio with a shudder as we arrived in the lobby.

He laughed. ‘Well, you’ll be glad to hear I don’t have any jobs for you tonight – other than to knock ‘em all dead with the new song.’

‘I’ll try my best.’ I felt suddenly afraid. ‘Ocean Longing’ was so personal to me, just as much as ‘Jacaranda Seeds’. If people didn’t like it, it would sting. ‘Do you fancy a drink?’

To my surprise, he shook his head. ‘I think I’ll go to the casino. See if I can get those cards to pay me back, it’s about time they fell in my favour.’

‘Ah, has Lady Luck been unkind to you then?’

‘You could say that,’ he said with a sigh. ‘I’ll see you later.’

‘OK.’ I frowned as I watched him go. He used to stride into a room, but now his broad shoulders were slumped and there was no sign of his old swagger. I’d asked Alexandre what was going on with Emilio, but he’d just shrugged and muttered something about his wife not being well. Now I wondered if it was more to do with a gambling debt.

I went through to the bar and ordered a martini. As I sat there sipping it, it struck me how much I’d changed since I’d last been at the Palácio, sitting on that very same bar stool, hitching up my dress, hoping to lure Sinclair into my trap. It had been less than a year, but I felt as if I’d aged by ten. Not in a bad way though. My trip to London and coming face to face with death seemed to have stretched me as a person, and I felt strengthened by the experience. If I encountered Sinclair now, I wouldn’t feel the slightest bit ruffled. I’d stood on the bank of the Thames and yelled obscenities at the Luftwaffe, for God’s sake. I’d survived a parachute bomb. After that, anything else seemed small fry.

I took a sip of my drink, feeling pretty pleased with myself, but then I saw a sight that sent a chill right through me. A mean-faced man with blond hair and a thin moustache had entered the bar and was looking around. I knew right away that it was Kurt Fischer. I hadn’t seen him since he’d abducted the refugee from the street right in front of me. But now there he was again, the proverbial bad penny.

I turned away and pretended to study the bar menu, my heart pounding. I needed to let Emilio know Fischer was there. Perhaps we could apprehend him and try to find out what had happened to Judith. But then I remembered that I still had the pesky diamond. If I let Fischer know I was connected to Judith, it would make me a target of the Gestapo for sure. And now I was so well known, there’d be no hiding place from them – for me or the Vadodara Teardrop.

I glanced over my shoulder and saw Fischer leaving the bar. Despite my concerns, I couldn’t let him go; he was my one remaining link to Judith. I didn’t know what I could do, but I knew I had to follow him. I slid off my stool and hurried into the lobby just in time to see him disappearing through the main door.

I followed Fischer down the winding path from the hotel towards the casino, my mind racing. Perhaps if I saw who he was here to meet, it might help me find out about Judith. I knew I was clutching at straws, but I had to do something.

When we reached the casino, Fischer marched along the central aisle, clearly looking for someone. But who? I gulped as I thought of the wealthier refugees who’d made Estoril their home since fleeing the Nazis. Was he going to snatch one of them to send to the German prison camps? I had to find Emilio. I had to try to stop Fischer.

I glanced at my watch. I had less than an hour before my performance. Keeping one eye on Fischer, I scanned the clusters of people gathered around the roulette wheels and poker tables. Where the hell was Emilio? As my tension grew, everything else seemed to become heightened too – the voices and the laughter, the music and the spinning of the wheels. Even the huge chandeliers glimmering from above seemed garish and gaudy.

I watched as Fischer hovered by a roulette table, scrutinising the people sitting there. Was he closing in on his prey? I was so busy watching I didn’t look where I was going, and I crashed right into someone.

‘Watch it!’ I snapped, even though I’d been the one to blame.

‘Sofia?’

I turned to see Emilio. His collar was undone and his tie skew-whiff, and there was a look of panic on his face.

‘What are you doing here?’

‘I was looking for you,’ I hissed. ‘And following a member of the Gestapo.’

‘Who?’ His look of panic grew.

‘The one I saw kidnapping the refugee. The one who was following my friend. He’s here in the casino.’ I looked back at the roulette table. Fischer had disappeared. ‘Damn!’

‘What?’

‘He’s gone.’

Emilio grabbed my arm. ‘You need to get out of here too. It’s almost time for your performance. Alexandre will kill me if you’re not there on time.’

‘But—’

‘But nothing! Come on – we need to go.’ Emilio began steering me back towards the entrance.

‘But I wanted you to see him,’ I cried. ‘I thought maybe we could try to find out what happened to my friend.’

‘It’s too dangerous,’ he muttered.

I stared at him. He looked really rattled.

‘I don’t understand.’

‘Wait till we’re outside.’

We hurried out and along the footpath. Then Emilio stopped and glanced all around to check the coast was clear.

‘There’s an operation going on here tonight,’ he whispered.

‘What kind of operation?’

‘We have intelligence that the Gestapo are here to meet with a member of the British aristocracy – someone with close ties to their government who will be giving them some top-secret information – information that could jeopardise the lives of thousands of Allied troops.’

‘Shit!’

‘Exactly!’ He linked my arm again, and we carried on walking. ‘So you mustn’t do anything to put it at risk.’

‘Of course.’ I felt crushed. I completely understood what he was saying, but my heart broke thinking of Judith.

‘There are people planted in the casino – undercover agents – trying to find out who the traitor is.’

‘Oh, I see.’ Everything began falling into place. No wonder Emilio looked so stressed. ‘And that’s why you’re here?’ I whispered.

‘Exactly.’ He nodded. ‘And I need to get back as soon as I’ve got you to the hotel safely.’

‘Go!’ I exclaimed. ‘I can get back by myself.’

He shook his head. ‘No way. I need to make sure you’re safe.’

I frowned at him. ‘Why would I not be safe?’

‘You’re a high-profile singer. Everyone knows you went to London to perform. The Nazis will have seen that as you siding with the Allies.’ He gave my arm a reassuring squeeze. ‘I’m sure it’s all right, but it’s better to be safe than sorry.’

I nodded but still felt bitterly disappointed. I didn’t care about being safe. All I cared about was Judith. It just about killed me that the man who undoubtedly knew what had happened to her was in such close proximity and yet I couldn’t do a thing.

We returned to the hotel in silence. When we reached the lobby, I gave Emilio a hug. ‘Please stay safe,’ I whispered in his ear, and as I felt him grip me tighter, I could tell that he was scared too.

‘Good luck, Castello – knock ’em dead,’ he said but with none of his normal zest. Then he turned and hurried off.

After a much-needed glass of wine and cigarette in my room, I got changed into a midnight-blue satin dress with matching heels and made my way downstairs to the bar. It was now buzzing with people, and my fear grew. My conversation with Emilio had unsettled me, and as I waited in the wings to go on, I had a moment of panic as my mind went blank and I couldn’t recall any of my lyrics.

The hotel compère welcomed me to the stage, and the house lights dimmed. I walked into the spotlight, encouraged by the warm smiles of the musicians. I gripped the microphone, leaning into the stand for support. The band began playing the opening bars of ‘This Doll’ and the jaunty beat kicked me back into focus, and once again the magic of music took over and the words all came back to me.

The rest of the set passed by in a blur, and before I knew it, it was time for the final song. I’d kept ‘Ocean Longing’ till last as it had become such a huge hit, and, sure enough, as soon as I sang the first line, the place erupted in cheers. I closed my eyes and thought of Trafalgar, the lyrics conjuring up memories of the events that had inspired them. I poured every ounce of my longing into the song, my voice cracking with emotion as I reached the final chorus. What if I never saw him again? Please, God, let me see him again , I thought as I sang the last line.

What happened next seemed to happen in slow motion. I opened my eyes. The place erupted in applause. The lights came back up. And I saw Trafalgar standing in front of the stage, staring up at me, open-mouthed in shock.