Page 13 of The Lonely Hearts Guide (Bountiful Beaus #2)

That night, as they entered their suite, Elliot felt lighter than he ever had. Throughout the day, Alexander and Elliot were inseparable. They saw a comedy show in the theater, then had dinner with Mother-slash-Mrs. Peppercorn, and the entire time, Elliot’s hand rarely left Alexander’s.

Elliot was a bit worried about Mrs. Peppercorn’s leadership style. When she mentioned running a tight ship before, Elliot hadn’t realized just how power-hungry she’d been. Masquerading as Mother, she roamed around the boat, barking orders at workers and creating multi-page memos on best practices for improving cleanliness and friendliness—a phrase she claimed to hold the trademark for. She went into great detail about the importance of kindness and how it costs nothing, but the way she worded it was anything but kind. She used all caps in places, making it appear as if she was shouting. Even bringing up the topic of planks and the men who ought to walk them.

“I think we need to keep an eye on Mrs. Peppercorn,” Alexander said, reading Elliot’s mind. He unbuttoned the button-down shirt he’d worn to dinner, putting inch after inch of Alexander’s creamy skin on display. Elliot couldn’t make himself move. It was like his eyes had been glued to Alexander’s chest. As Alexander unfastened his cufflinks, he cleared his throat.

“Sorry,” Elliot said, shaking his head. “I was . . .” Elliot closed his eyes and sighed. Alexander liked him. Elliot knew he did. He’d said so at brunch, then several times after, throughout the day. If Elliot was going to forge something special with him, he knew he needed to be brave, as scary as it might be. “I was looking at your chest and got distracted.”

The sound of cloth falling onto the floor sent Elliot’s eyes fluttering open. Alexander stood in front of him completely shirtless, and God, if it wasn’t the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen.

“You can look at me whenever you want.” Alexander leaned in and gently kissed him. “You can look as long as you want. I like when you look at me.”

“I like when you look at me too,” Elliot said, standing on his toes so he could touch his forehead to Alexander’s. Alexander chuckled, crouching lower in order to scoop Elliot into his arms.

“Wrap your legs around me, sweetheart. We can be eye to eye this way.”

Elliot did as instructed, looping his legs behind Alexander’s back, enjoying the way his hand felt against Elliot’s backside. “I like this. I think it’s my new favorite thing.”

Alexander pressed their foreheads together. “Mine too.” Their eyes were locked, neither of them blinking much at all as Alexander walked them to bed. “Keep your legs around me.” He took a seat, and Elliot did just as Alexander instructed, keeping his legs locked and his arms draped over his shoulders. Alexander hugged him tighter, gently rocking him back and forth.

“He never held me like this.”

“No?”

Elliot shook his head, dragging their foreheads back and forth against each other. “Never.” He pulled away long enough to graze Alexander’s eyebrow with his thumb. “I didn’t feel special with him, but you’ve made me feel that way.”

“Because you are.” Alexander kissed the tip of Elliot’s nose. “I think you might be the most special man I’ve ever met.” Pink lights flickered in Elliot’s eyes, displaying an overwhelming level of comfort and appreciation. Alexander stroked the skin beside Elliot’s eyes. “God, your colors are beautiful.”

Their foreheads stilled, and Elliot watched as Alexander closed his eyes before following suit. They stayed that way a while, just existing in the moment, letting the inklings of affection blossom.

“Did you still want to see me naked?”

“Please?” Elliot smiled widely before opening his eyes, and when he did, Elliot gasped. It wasn’t Alexander’s lap he was sitting on. It was Jared Price. His oily skin and poorly manicured beard. His cold, angry eyes.

“Did you really think you could get away from me? You thought I’d let you steal my kid?”

Elliot slammed his eyes shut and shook his head. Jared couldn’t be back. He just couldn’t. Not after Elliot had finally escaped.

“Baby?” Alexander whispered. “What’s wrong?” He kissed his way across Elliot’s forehead until he could finally open his eyes. Thankfully, Jared was no longer in front of him, only Alexander with an overwhelming look of worry on his face. “Are you okay?”

Elliot wanted to tell him what he’d seen, but he couldn’t find the strength to say the words. Alexander would hate him. He would see Elliot as a malfunctioning robot, and then Elliot would lose his only chance at happiness.

“Yes, I’m okay,” he said. “I’m sorry, Alexander. Maybe I have overexerted myself today. I don’t think I can . . .” He looked down at Alexander’s crotch. “I still want to show myself to you, but I don’t know if I’m ready for more than that. For tonight, at least. Is that all right?”

Alexander cupped his cheek. “We go at your pace. However fast or slow you want to go is just fine with me. I’m not in any hurry.”

Elliot gave him a nod before lifting himself off Alexander’s lap. Taking a few steps back, Elliot lifted the rainbow tank top over his head. He’d been so worried about wearing it to dinner, because he knew most suitors and beaus would be dressed to the nines, but it had quickly become Elliot’s favorite shirt—not that he had very many shirts.

Folding the shirt, he laid it on top of the dresser in the corner of their room. Next, Elliot unbuttoned his pastel-pink shorts until all he was left wearing was the banana hammock. He stared down at it—at the prominent bulge, front and center—and scowled.

“Is something wrong?”

Elliot shook his head. “I don’t understand. You called it a banana hammock. What does that mean?”

Alexander’s cheeks darkened. “I . . . I guess it means—”

“Alexander?” Elliot interrupted.

“Yeah?”

“You don’t have to mince words. I don’t shock easily.” He bit his lip and shook his head. “Actually, that’s not entirely true. I once shocked Jared when he tried to have his way with me as I was charging. He punished me after, but it felt nice to wake up and see his hair sticking straight up like a cartoon character.” The corner of his lip curled up. “Is it bad for me to say that I’m glad he got hurt?”

“If it is, then I’m just as bad, because there are things I want to do to that man that would break every point in the Geneva convention.”

Elliot cocked his head to the side. “Isn’t that about soldiers? You’re not in the army, are you?”

“No, but if it meant getting to kick his ass, I would enlist.”

Elliot’s smile stretched further. He leaned down, bringing his mouth to Alexander’s ear. “No. The armed services are no place for you. You’re a gentle soul.” He kissed Alexander between the eyes. “Less about the United States Army, more about this mysterious banana hammock. What does it mean?”

Alexander sighed. “I thought I might be able to skirt the issue by shifting the subject.”

“That won’t work on me. I’ve got the memory of an elephant,” Elliot said proudly. “Well, actually, I guess I don’t. I think I did at one point, but now everything’s been scrambled in my mind like eggs.”

Alexander chuckled. “It’s just another word for a Speedo. It’s called a banana hammock because it acts like a hammock for your penis.”

It was a silly expression, Elliot thought, but he found it rather endearing. He stared down at the outline of his shaft in his Speedo. It didn’t look like a banana. Just a long, curved tube. Elliot placed his fingertip on the bulge and slowly traced a path downward before looking into Alexander’s eyes.

“May I take these off?”

Alexander swallowed. “Please?”

Elliot bit his lip, keeping his eyes locked on Alexander’s as he slowly slid down his Speedo, revealing his flaccid seven-inch penis. He looked down at it, silently inviting Alexander along for the journey. When he glanced up at Alexander, his cheeks were burning red with heat, and he wore an expression Elliot couldn’t read.

“Okay, now I’m really worried about showing you mine. Jesus, Elliot. It’s like a third leg.”

“Unfortunately, with Mother out of the picture, I’m unable to have it shortened.” Elliot sighed sadly. “I apologize if it’s too large. I understand if you wish to send me away.”

“Are you kidding me?” Alexander asked, stretching a smile across his face. “It’s like a work of art.” He stared at it, a bit too intensely, if Elliot was being honest, because it made him feel like Alexander thought he had the penis of a god, and he’d never been terribly comfortable with compliments.

“You really like it?”

Alexander stood and made his way across the small suite until they were standing face to face. “Whenever you’re ready, I’m going to show you just how much I do. May I touch it? I won’t go any further than that, I’d just like to—”

Elliot cut him off by placing his hand on top of Alexander’s and guiding it to his shaft. He wrapped their fingers around it, just resting them there with no expectations or goals of sexual release.

“May I see yours?” Elliot asked.

“All right,” he said, taking a step back. “Just remember, it’s a grower, not a shower.” Elliot didn’t understand what in the world that statement meant, but he didn’t dally on the topic. When Alexander stepped back, Elliot tracked his movement like a hunter observing his prey. His body was perfect on every level. The way his abdominal muscles had valleys between each one, and his rather large biceps which bulged out at the perfect angle. Alexander slid his slacks down, revealing a tight pair of baby blue boxer-briefs. He folded his slacks and turned to drape them over the small loveseat, and when he did, it gave Elliot an unobstructed view of Alexander’s backside.

Elliot whined with need like a cat in heat. He never once looked at Jared’s butt this way. He never felt the need to explore the soft flesh like a sexual archeologist. With Alexander, the need felt undeniable, as if his ass were meant to be claimed. To be adored and explored thoroughly until the man lay beneath him, writhing on his tongue.

Alexander looked over his shoulder and grinned at Elliot. “Yeah, it’s always been my calling card.” When he turned around, Alexander slid his underwear off, letting them gather at his ankles. His modest cock was on full display, and Elliot stared intently at it, trying to memorize every inch. There weren’t very many inches to it, but it didn’t bother Elliot. In fact, he found it quite endearing that his savior had an average-sized penis. In the time Elliot knew him, Alexander had been so poised and put together. A textbook image of masculinity, except for this one small hiccup in his DNA.

“I know it’s not much, but it’s yours if you want it.”

Elliot nodded. “It’s a very beautiful penis, Alexander.” Following in the footsteps Alexander left earlier, Elliot approached slowly and stared at it. “Can I touch you?” When Alexander nervously grunted his approval, Elliot reached down and wrapped his fingers around the shaft, carefully grazing his finger back and forth against the head. “I’m going to become very good friends with this penis,” he promised.

“Yeah?”

Elliot looked up at Alexander, pink light blasting in his eyes. Crouching, Elliot looked the penis dead in its eye and nodded. “You’re mine now, too, and I’m going to take care of you.” Leaning closer, he pressed a kiss to the tip, then stood, wrapping his arms around Alexander's shoulders and burying his face in his neck.

“You don’t know how relieved I am,” Alexander whispered. “I want you to like all of me. Even it.”

Elliot pressed a quick kiss to Alexander’s lips. “I do. I love it a lot.” He wanted to say more. To voice the feelings he’d been feeling ever since his trip to Sugarplum Island.

“I think it might love you, too, Elliot,” he whispered. “Now, what do you say we cuddle in bed and watch a movie?” When Elliot gave him a rousing nod of approval, they climbed into bed and wrapped their limbs around each other, getting nice and cozy for the film. It was an old film about wizards and ruby slippers and flying monkeys. Songs poured from the speakers, each one just as good as the last. When the girl, the lion, the man of metal, and the scarecrow sang about wanting a heart and courage and a brain, Elliot felt the words in his soul. They wanted to be human. They wanted to be normal, just like everyone else, and Elliot craved that so badly, he almost couldn’t stand it. By the end of the number, Elliot was in tears, and Alexander hugged him closer.

“My sweet boy. It’s going to be okay. I promise I won’t let anything happen to you.”

Elliot sniffled. “You deserve a real man.”

Alexander lifted Elliot’s gaze by gently tugging his chin with a finger. “I know what I deserve, and I know what and who I want.” He gave Elliot a kiss, more passionate than any of the ones they’d shared before. It went on for days and seconds and hours, and through it all, Alexander mumbled words of praise and reassurance. When the kiss was done, Alexander stroked his cheek. “We need to get some rest, baby. I don’t want you feeling tired tomorrow.”

Elliot resisted the urge to tell Alexander he didn’t actually get tired. He could feign symptoms of exhaustion should he want to, but why would anyone want to do that? Instead of giving Alexander a crash course in an automaton’s power supply, Elliot gave Alexander a nod and grabbed the end of his charging port beside the bed. Once it was inserted into his toe, Elliot lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling. The boat rocked ever so slightly, then Alexander hooked an arm over Elliot’s chest, his penis pressed flush against Elliot’s thigh. Elliot wanted Alexander to feel him, so he turned toward him, keeping his foot kicked back so his charging station’s cord wouldn’t get in the way.

“Will you hold me all night long?” Elliot asked.

Alexander placed a hand on Elliot’s butt and pulled him even closer. “Try and stop me,” he said with a wink. “Will you show me how you put yourself in . . . What was it called again?”

“Stasis,” Elliot answered, lifting his arm, his palm facing Alexander. “You draw the shape of a star on my arm and it opens my interface. You just have to touch the purple light at that point.”

“Does it hurt?”

Elliot shook his head. “It was very peaceful last night. Powering down, on the other hand . . .”

“It’s like death,” Alexander finished for him. “That’s what you said before.” Alexander drew the shape of a star on his arm, and three lights shone through his pale skin. “It’s beautiful, sweetheart.”

“Thank you,” Elliot said, his heart fluttering. “Would you like to do the honors?”

Alexander nodded, but backed away. Elliot wanted to ask where he was going, but he was given his answer only a few seconds later when Alexander scooted down the bed and pressed a kiss on the bump. “Night-night, baby girl. I can’t wait to meet you.” He looked up at Elliot with a genuine smile, stroking his tummy. “I love you like this. Full of life, yours and hers.”

Elliot placed his hand on top of Alexander’s and squeezed, hoping the look of overwhelming appreciation was clear in his eyes. Alexander settled in next to Elliot again, pulling him close, then stared at the purple light shining through his skin. “I just need to press the purple one?”

“Yeah. You have to push down a bit, but not too hard.”

Alexander nodded and brought his hand to Elliot’s arm, looking up and saying, “Night-night to you, too, Elliot. I can’t wait to see you in the morning.”

Elliot nibbled his lip and nodded. “Me too. Night-night, Alexander.”

As Elliot’s cycle of stasis took effect, his mind wandered through his memories like a film. Visions of Alexander spreading sunblock on Elliot’s bare skin. The joy on his face when they shared their first kiss. Master Jared Price lying down. Mrs. Peppercorn giving him the warmest of hugs. Red liquid spreading across marble.

He didn’t know what the images of Jared or the red marble were all about, but they made him feel extremely uncomfortable. There was still some cake frosting in the places the memories should have been, and for once, he wasn’t sad to have lost part of his history, because whatever that memory was, Elliot knew he wouldn’t like it. He wouldn’t ever want to revisit it.

The next morning, when Elliot woke, he was pressed firmly against Alexander. Their arms and legs were tangled, and they clung to each other like someone lost at sea might cling to their life preserver. He studied Alexander’s face, wanting to memorize every square centimeter of the man, just in case he wound up back with Jared once all was said and done.

Elliot couldn’t think of a worse fate than losing what little sense of freedom he finally felt. He wouldn’t. If worse came to worst, he would do whatever it took to avoid returning to Jared Price.

Alexander looked so wonderfully peaceful while he slept, so for the next hour, whenever memories of Jared Price threatened to rear their horrible heads, Elliot used the sight of Alexander’s face as a touchstone of sorts. Something tangible to hold on to when reality felt like it was fading. He needed something more, but he didn’t know what. Something to cling to. Something to wrap himself up in.

He startled when Alexander released the hold he had on Elliot and rolled onto his back, steadily snoring. After a few moments spent staring at his bare shoulders above the covers, Elliot glanced down to see a tent formed in Alexander’s lap. By the look of it, it didn’t seem much larger than it had while flaccid, but that was just fine. Jared had an unnecessarily lengthy penis, and all it ever provided Elliot was pain and an unspoken promise that he would never be free from the pain it inflicted.

The funny thing was, when Elliot was with Jared, he’d never once felt true sexual arousal. Sure, he played the part, and he played it well, but that was all it had ever been. An act. A pretense of premarital bliss, all the while hating every second and every single inch of it. Mother always told Elliot and his brothers that intimate relations were the cornerstone to a happy marriage, but he was never sexually satisfied by Jared. Maybe that’s why everything always hurt so much. Maybe the fact that Elliot had never been brought to the brink of sexual release was part of the reason his home life was so unhappy. He had never ejaculated before, and by the look in Jared’s eyes every time he found his release, it looked to be a very fun experience.

Alexander would expect intimate relations. If Elliot stayed, Alexander would require sexual release. Strangely enough, Elliot wanted Alexander to find his release. More than that, Elliot wanted to be his release’s source.

Alexander told Elliot they could move at his pace. Lying in bed with a man he’d grown quite fond of, Elliot wanted to pick up the pace and get the ball rolling, as they say. He slid a hand beneath the covers, then over Alexander’s thigh. He paused, letting his fingers linger against his warm skin.

“Alexander?” he whispered.

Alexander’s snores turned into a snort and he slowly blinked his eyes, still narrow from sleep. “Elliot?”

“I’m sorry to wake you, it’s just, there was something I wanted to do, and I didn’t want to do it without your consent.”