Page 37 of The Loneliest Number (The Thirst Trap #3)

Chapter thirty-two

Abby

W e’re perched on an outcrop of rocks at the Quiraing, surrounded by tufty grass waving in the breeze.

Gordon and Becky suggested he give me the whistlestop tour when we dropped them at home.

There’s a hiking trail here, but it takes a few hours, and I am not properly equipped with walking boots, so instead he drove us up to the car park and we walked across the skinny stony path to this sunny spot where we can sit and admire the incredible view.

Green and blue for miles with little spots of creamy white marking the rock climbing sheep.

Skye is laid in front of us, stunningly beautiful.

“I like coming up here to think. Always try to come whenever I’m visiting,” he tells me.

“It’s stunning. I don’t understand why you’d want to leave.”

“I like the idea of spending more time here in the future, but I had to get away. Needed to find my own way in the world. See more than just this island. If only to appreciate the beauty here every time I come home.”

There’s a contentedness in the way his eyes crease around the edges. Happiness is so hot on him.

“Does it feel good to get some answers?” I ask, snuggling into his side. It’s a beautiful day, but we are exposed up here, and the breeze feels chilly with only my light coat.

“Aye, it does. I’ll chat with Mum and see if she wants me to look into William, even if we don’t make contact. But I should let her make that call.”

“Do you think your mum is okay?” I ask.

“She’ll be alright. My dad takes good care of her. And I think the weight came off her shoulders after speaking with Ruth.”

“I can see why you’d want to make a go of us when you have the example of your parents. They seem like a good partnership.”

“They are. I’m lucky to have them. After I split with my ex, I lost the plot, decided that none of it was for me.

I didn’t need a special someone. Worked my arse off and fucked around, but Saff kept me grounded.

Then we lost Gran, and you snuck in and kept reminding me of Gran’s last words every time I thought of you.

I meant what I said last night. I don’t mind if we’re not monogamous, if you want to sleep with other people.

I just want to be your person. The one you come back to. ”

“I never wanted my own person, Cam. I didn’t want one person to be solely responsible for my happiness and my dreams. But I want to keep coming back to you.

I want to spend more time with you.” Sitting here on this rock, looking out at what could be the edge of the world, feels so right when he’s here by my side.

Yes, it would be awesome by myself. But he makes it even better.

“Abby, you can give me your happiness and dreams, and I promise to take good care of them. But I don’t expect you to hand them over.

How ‘bout you keep hold of them and I stay at your side and help when they get heavy or you need a rest?” Those crinkles are back at the side of his eyes.

“I want to share your life, not own it completely.”

Relief washes over me. I think I get it now. “Have I been missing the point all along?” I ask him.

He chuckles, low and deep, like it’s bubbling up from his stomach.

He shakes his head. “I don’t think so. I think you had to find the right person, but you had to prove you could do it all by yourself first. There’s nothing wrong with that.

I’m so in awe of your independence and your tenacity and the way you don’t rely on anyone.

You’re the strongest person I know.” Warmth floods my whole body.

His praise means everything to me. He continues, “But it’s okay to not be so strong and independent all the time.

I want to be the person that you can rely on when you need a break, when you want a hug, when you want someone else to make the decision for once. Let me be that person.”

“Yes.” I nod. I can envision it. “I want this, Cam.” I settle my head against his chest as his arm comes around to pull me even closer to his side. “Will you let me do the same for you?”

“Pixie, you’ve been that person for me for weeks, even if I wasn’t brave enough to tell you.

You gave me a purpose outside of my work and The Juniper.

Why do you think I kept coming back and butting my way into your life?

Why I kept in touch? But it’s even better when I get to do it for you too.

” I close my eyes, savouring his warm hug as the breeze picks up, blowing my hair all over the place.

I don’t know what else to say. I don’t know that there is anything else I can add to this conversation now.

I realise that what comes next is my actions.

I need to let him in. I need to commit to giving a good go of this.

As if it agrees, my stomach takes the opportunity to gurgle loudly.

Cam’s chest shakes with laughter at the noise.

“Oh goodness, did we leave you too long between meals?”

“I think it’s because you stole that bite of the chocolate biscuit. That extra bit would have tided me over a bit longer.”

“Shall we go and find some lunch?” he asks.

“Yes, please.”

Of course Cam knows a cute little pub for us to have lunch in.

We dig into our haggis, neeps, and tatties, which Cam insisted I try whilst in Scotland.

The haggis has a spiciness to it I wasn’t expecting, and I empty the plate in no time.

“I feel like we’re in a different world.

This is so unlike London.” I tell him as we watch people pour off the little ferry dock we can see from where we’re seated.

He nods, “It really is. It’s different even from Glasgow. Sometimes I think I’d go crazy if I lived here full time after time spent in the cities. But every now and again, I crave the peace.”

“You don’t own a place here?” I ask him.

He shakes his head. “I’ve thought about it a lot.

Just need to wait for the right place to come up.

I could probably run it as a rental most of the year and use it when I’m visiting.

” He brushes his thumb against his bottom lip, and I can tell there’s a question coming.

“Do you want to stay in London long term?”

I mull over my answer for a moment. “Just a week ago, I probably would have said yes, but I do want to experience other places. I’d love to travel more and spend time out of the city.

My job is there and I have friends there, but I have no solid ties.

” I breathe out a sigh. My job and my friends have been my ties for such a long time.

But perhaps my point of gravity has shifted now.

I continue, “My past self would be horrified that she was letting a man affect her place in the world. Although it’s not so much that you’re dictating what I do and where I go, I realise I want to spend time with you, where you are.

” I gulp, running a body scan for any impending sense of panic at my words.

I’m okay . “I’m open to the possibilities, Cam, even if I don’t know what they are yet. ” He presses his lips to my hairline.

“I won’t abuse the opportunity to be your person, Abby, I promise. We just need to keep communicating. I think that’s going to be the key to figuring out what works for us.”

I agree with a nod.

“Wanna go and see a fairy playground?” Cam asks after we’ve paid the bill and are back in the car.

“What?” I ask, baffled.

“It’s called the Fairy Glen. It’s said to be magical, and there’s a lot of folklore around it. I think you’ll like it, Pixie.” He tugs a tendril of my hair.

“Sounds intriguing. Let’s go,” I tell him, excited for whatever he wants to show me. Today, next week, and hopefully forever.